The Ghost That Haunts Me
by Stingythefish
Summary: It's been seven years since Kaori's death. Kousei now lives with Emi in her apartment, living a quiet life as a teacher. All seems well, but what happens when Emi starts to notice the sad looks that appear on his face every so often?
1. Chapter 1

The night was cold and dark, the harsh white light of a nearby streetlight blaring down on passer-by. Typically, on nights like these, the outdoors were only used as a means to get from one place to another, and even then, the warmth that cars provided was generally preferred. As such, Emi Igawa found herself accidentally glaring at those who walked past her as she stood frozen in the chilly air while she wished she was inside the heated building right next to her; the one she would end up inside ultimately.

Why did he always do this, she thought angrily. Every single time they agreed to meet up someplace, she always ended up standing around waiting an extra fifteen minutes. She should really just follow suit, so she's at least not miserable for a quarter of an hour.

"Igawa!" A call meant for her split through Emi's thoughts. Finally, he'd arrived.

"Its about damn time you got here," Emi remarked irately as Kousei Arima ran up to her, breathing heavily from the workout. "Its about to start soon. You wouldn't want to miss it and be on the receiving end of her verbal beat-up session afterwards, would you?"

"Heh, heh, I know, I know, I'm sorry..." Kousei apologized sheepishly as he finally stopped beside her, rubbing his neck.

Emi rolled her eyes, and turned on her high heel. "Well, let's get going then, shall we?"

They set off for the concert hall directly beside them, its massive form looming over the comparatively smaller buildings around it. Fancy signs out front advertised to the public those competing in this year's competition. As Emi and Kousei entered the building, they melded with the spread-out crowd of people standing around and chatting in the lobby. Emi checked her watch, frowning. Hmm...they had a little over five minutes before the performances would start.

"When's her performance, again?" Kousei asked beside her, peering over her shoulder at the pamphlet in her hands.

"Oh, um..." Emi quickly scanned the schedule, and her eyes locked onto Nagi Aiza's name. "Fourth, at ten fifteen."

"Oh, so we've got a ways to go, then," Kousei remarked with a sense of relief.

Emi sighed, punching him lightly on the arm, the passing thought that she was still shorter than him causing her brief irritation. "That's no reason to act relieved, you know. What if you were out there? You'd want every audience member to be giving you their attention and respect, right?"

"I know!" Kousei replied. "I'm just glad that all my stressing earlier about potentially missing her performance was for nothing. Or, I guess, maybe that would make me upset? Eh, I don't know."

Rolling her eyes, Emi chuckled. "OK, weirdo. Let's just head inside already."

Kousei nodded, and with that, the two headed in the direction of the theater, doing their best to use various signs and maps to find their way around. After a few turnarounds, they eventually located the theater the competition was being held in, and quickly took their seats, their footsteps hidden by the chatter filling the auditorium. Finally settled, Emi glanced at the lonely piano sitting on the stage, and then her watch. Hmm...it'd start any second now.

Sure enough, the lights in the auditorium dimmed, and the talking stopped as all eyes fell on the stage. A bright spotlight hovered over the grand piano situated in the middle of the stage. Then, a man dressed in a fancy suit holding a card in his hand walked out onto stage, and grabbed the microphone stood there. Everyone listened as the man thanked them all for coming and proceeded to introduce the first pianist of the night. Then, as the well-dressed man exited, he was replaced by a young man holding sheet music. The pianist crossed the distance to the piano and sat down, setting his music on the stand and getting comfortable. Finally ready, he set his fingers above the keys, and, taking in a deep breath, began to play.

It was a very beautiful piece, Emi remarked as she listened. It was undoubtedly very difficult, but clearly not outside the realm of possibility for the player. He'd chosen well. Of course, that being said, Emi couldn't help but pick out all the minute details and things he did wrong as the piece went on. She felt bad about it, but it was a habit she accidentally held on to from her days playing piano full-time. Even if all the playing she did nowadays was just casual and for fun, the techniques she'd learnt from her days as a high schooler stuck with her even now.

Glancing at Kousei beside her, Emi noticed, not for the first time, that his expression changed as he studied the young man's fingers move, if only ever so slightly so. Whenever the young man fumbled or accidentally hit two side-by-side keys at the same time, Kousei seemed to react sympathetically, as though he felt bad about the mistake. But whenever the young man did something splendidly, Kousei's expression would brighten, and the smallest of smiles would linger on his lips. It was as though at all times, Kousei was silently cheering on the performer.

Then, the first player finished, and the second went on. Her piece was definitely well done, but it seemed lacking in comparison to the previous performance, Emi thought, grimacing. Then the third pianist went on, and his performance was enjoyable, though still comparatively average. Then, finally, at around ten fifteen in the evening, the moment Emi and Kousei had been waiting for arrived.

The well-dressed man once again walked out on the stage, passing the third pianist on his way, and grabbed the microphone. Clapping his hands with the rest of the audience in appreciation for the young man's performance, the man smiled at the audience. "Well! Splendid performance! Now, for our next young performer, the youngest here, actually, of only twenty years of age…Nagi Aiza!"

All eyes shot over to the left side of the stage, where the pianists had been entering and exiting from. Her dress flowing radiantly, her blonde hair shining brightly, and her expression one of calm indifference, Nagi Aiza walked out onto stage, holding her sheet music in hand. Passing the returning well-dressed man as she crossed the stage, Nagi gave a scanning glance over the audience members, her eye catching Kousei's. Smiling, she gave him a wink before reaching the piano and taking a seat.

Finally, as the audience's claps died down, Nagi let her fingers hover over top of the first notes she'd need to hit. Then, in that utter silence, her expression simply calm, serene, even, as though there weren't over a hundred people staring at her that very moment, Nagi finally began the piece, stealing any attention that wasn't already on her.

By the first few measures, both Emi and Kousei had instantly placed the piece: Un Sospiro, by Franz Liszt. Emi's eyes widened. This was a challenging piece! For Nagi to be taking it on…but it was undeniably beautiful, though. She could understand why anyone would want to play something so mesmerizingly pretty. Still, though, as she watched the young girl on the stage below, Emi knew Kousei was just as much on the edge of his seat as she was on hers.

Nagi's notes filled up the auditorium, the grace and elegance in her finger movements evident by the way each note flowed into the next without ever sounding off in any way. It was like the gentle flow of a stream of water, and the calm and serenity that came with the music was infectious; just about everyone in the audience couldn't help but be enveloped by the piece. Even Nagi herself looked like she was feeling the peaceful calm of the music.

Finally, the piece was over, and as Nagi's fingers left the keys, a stunned silence overcame the auditorium. A light smile crept its way onto her face as she glanced up at the crowd, just before it erupted into claps and cheers. Her eyes met those of Emi and Kousei, who each returned her smile. She had done brilliantly.

With her piece over, Nagi stood up, taking her sheet music in hand, and walked back to the left side of the stage, passing the well-dressed man as she did. As the audience's cheers and claps finally died down, the man gave a Nagi's performance a genuine compliment, before moving on to the next pianist.

.

Kousei, Emi and Nagi walked along the moonlit sidewalk away from the concert hall after the event was over. In all honesty, Emi couldn't really have said she recalled too many if the other performances of the night, whether before or after Nagi's. It was unfortunate, but Nagi's display of raw talent and hard work was just awe-inspiring; it also helped that her song choice was superb.

"Yeah, that was a great performance, Nagi!" Kousei said, ripping Emi's attention away from her inner thoughts. "You did wonderfully, especially for such a tough piece!"

Emi nodded in agreement. "I thought it was beautiful. You really handled those hand over hand techniques with fluidity."

"I know!" Nagi replied, grinning with self-importance. "I mean, I spent so long on it; it better have turned out well, you know?" A brief lull entered the atmosphere, before Nagi spoke again, changing the topic. "Whatever. My performances are always good, so how about we have some proper fun?"

"A-Ah…" Kousei said uncertainly. "You mean you want to go drinking."

"Exactly!" Nagi chuckled. "You want to, too, right, Emi?"

Emi rolled her eyes, but nodded. It was always fun to watch Kousei undergo uncomfortable situations, wherein he dealt with them by not dealing with them at all. Typically, whenever the three of them went drinking, Nagi would get super drunk, Emi would only have enough to feel a little tipsy, and Kousei would barely have anything at all. Usually, this led to Nagi flirting excessively with Kousei while he just took it awkwardly, all watched and commentated on, of course, by Emi herself.

So, with Kousei yet again being outvoted, the three headed to a nearby bar, escaping the winter cold by settling in a booth and ordering some drinks. Sure enough, by the fifteen minute mark, Nagi was already pressing up against Kousei's stiff body, her face red and her breath alcoholic in smell.

"So, tell me, Kousei, who do you like more?" Nagi drunkenly asked. "Me, or Emi?"

Kousei looked incredibly uncomfortable, but it would be worse if he didn't respond. "Uh…do I really have to choose?"

"Yes!" Nagi cried, her drinking sloshing around in its glass as she moved around violently in reaction.

"Um…then…" Kousei stuttered and stammered, looking around uncertainly, as though there would be something on the wall to tell him how to answer. It was all too clear he wasn't sure how he should reply, Emi noticed, and the fact that Nagi was being so assertive clearly wasn't helping. "N-Neither?" He finally answered with a shrug.

"No!" Nagi refused. "Its got to be either me or Emi! Which is it?" Nagi watched Kousei squirm for a bit longer, a frown on her face, before she sighed. "Fine. It's obvious you've got no clue yourself. Well, make sure you tell me once you do realize it, okay, Kousei?"

Kousei looked at Nagi inquisitively, but cracked a smile anyhow. "Well, I'm not sure what you're talking about, but if you want me to, Nagi, then I'll give it my all!"

As Kousei smiled brightly at her, Nagi scowled. "You're too adorable, dammit!" She shouted eventually, pouncing on Kousei and pinning him to the seat of the booth, hugging him desperately. "RAH! Life's so unfair! Why can't you just go out with me, huh?"

Emi snickered as she watched the two interact. While Nagi could sometimes be volatile when drunk, her assertive advances on Kousei usually came out then, a prime source of entertainment. Even if she hadn't been drunk, Emi was sure she'd have enjoyed herself all the same. These sorts of sentimental thoughts floating around her head, Emi and the others headed out of the bar after a few more drinks, their fill of celebration now had. Walking back to the nearby concert hall parking lot, the three piled into Emi's car.

As she turned the ignition, Emi noticed she was a tad tipsy, but nothing serious. The drive home shouldn't be too hard, though she was going to have to find her way to Nagi's midway through. That in mind, Emi left the parking lot, Kousei sitting calmly in the passenger's seat, Nagi lying asleep in the back, her head resting against the tension her seat belt provided.

Emi's eyes briefly shot over to the rear view mirror to glance at Nagi, and she smiled lightly as she drove. "You did that, didn't you?"

Kousei slowly pulled his eyes away from their reminiscing state out the window and looked confusedly at Emi. "Did what?"

She motioned to the sleeping Nagi behind her. "Got her all settled like that. You know, set her down gently back there, buckled up her seat belt, rested her head against it."

Kousei smiled lightly. "Oh, yeah. Well, she's had a full night. She deserves a good rest."

For a moment, only the hum of the car's engine could be heard as Emi drove, the lull in the conversation creating a sort of feeling of sleepiness. Eventually, though, the lull turned into a complete silence, and it became clear that no one had anything to add to the conversation. But that was okay. Emi was content with the silence. It was….almost peaceful. Peace wasn't something she often got.

Emi stole a glance at Kousei beside her. His gentle smile still lingered from earlier, but there was something there, something that tainted it. Instead of a smile of peace and content, melancholy was what stained Kousei's smile. The comment Nagi had made earlier popped into Emi's head; about how Kousei had no clue.

A thought sprouted in Emi's brain, and she hoped it was just paranoia.

Eventually, the quiet car ride was briefly put on hold to make a quick stop at Nagi's dorm room. Emi watched from the driver's seat, one hand resting on the steering wheel, the other propping her chin up, as Kousei carried the sleeping Nagi bridal style up to the dorm. Emi waited in undisturbed silence for the few minutes it took Kousei to return. Then the two were off again, retaining the same quiet as before after Kousei made an amusing comment about Nagi.

Finally, they reached Emi's apartment. Pulling into her parking spot, Emi shut the car off, and she and Kousei got out. The two shivered in the cold as they walked to Emi's apartment's door, opening it and closing it quickly shut after they were through.

Once inside, Emi exhaled a sigh of relief, and threw her jacket lazily onto the floor. She didn't really feel like putting it away properly right now. In fact, she was quite ready to hit the sack. As such, she pulled off her fancy shoes and headed to the bedroom to change while Kousei pulled out the couch to turn it into a bed.

After she'd put on pajamas, or, at least, pajamas if you considered a tank top and short shorts to be pajamas, Emi returned to the living room to check up on Kousei. He'd already got his bed ready and was sitting on it, scrolling through the TV channels with the volume on low. Emi glanced over his appearance. He'd thrown off his suit jacket, and his tie hung loose over his neck, but that wasn't what concerned Emi. No, she frowned at his look of sadness. It wasn't so much a sadness like you had a fight with a loved one, or a pet ran away. It wasn't the sort of sadness that implied it couldn't be remedied. The sadness that stained Kousei's expression seemed to be of the defeated sort. Like he was sad about something he'd never be able to fix; that he'd always be sad about it.

Eventually, Kousei stopped flipping through channels as he reached a romance drama playing on a movie channel. His eyes seemed to widen as though in recognition as he saw it pop up on the screen, before returning to their depressed state.

"…Kousei?" Emi said softly, causing the young man to twist his body slightly to meet his eyes with hers. Emi glanced uncertainly to the side, somewhat unsure of how to bring up her concern for him. In the end, all she could say was, "I'm going to bed now. Good night."

Kousei gave a smile, though it was tainted with sadness. "Good night, Emi."

And with that, Kousei returned his attention to the movie on screen, watching intently as the two main characters embraced each other lovingly. Emi gave him once last sad look, before she turned around and headed to bed.

.

The glare of the morning sun woke Emi up the next morning, though it wasn't her wish. She'd rather have stayed asleep as long as possible, but apparently her window had other plans. Man, on the one of the two days she got off this week from work, she still had to be woken up early. Groaning in irritation, she reluctantly got up. Well, if she was already up, she might as well get some chores over with.

Yawning sleepily, Emi got out of bed and walked to the kitchen, glancing at Kousei's bed, before stopping short. She narrowed her eyes at the empty, crumpled blanket. Kousei wasn't there. Where'd he gone?

Suddenly, causing Emi to flinch, the door opened, and Emi turned on her heel to catch Kousei walking into the apartment, his cheeks and nose red from the cold. In his hand was a jug of milk, which he set down carefully before removing his outerwear. Finally, Kousei noticed Emi standing there, and stopped midway through pulling the sleeve of his jacket off of his arm.

"Oh…morning, Igawa," Kousei greeted her, continuing to take off his jacket. "You're up pretty early. What happened? You usually sleep in until noon."

"The sun woke me up; I forgot to draw the curtains last night." Emi explained, crossing her arms. "Where were you?"

Kousei grabbed the milk off the floor and held it up. "We were out of milk. I thought I'd go out and grab some." Milk in hand, Kousei crossed the distance to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and restocked it with new milk.

Emi frowned. It seemed a tad too early to be going out in the freezing cold just to get something as silly as milk. Maybe it was the part of her that loved sleeping in, but she would have considered it not worth it to get milk in the morning when you could just wait until it had warmed up a bit later in the day, especially considering neither of them really needed milk. But whatever. It was probably just Kousei going out of his way to be nice, as always.

Shrugging to herself, Emi grabbed some breakfast, and turned on the TV while she ate at the kitchen's island. It was still the same movie channel that had been playing the romance drama last night; clearly Kousei had either fallen asleep with it on or had else turned the TV off after it was done.

Just outside of Emi's point of focus, Kousei was cleaning up his bed and returning it to its couch form. After he'd put the cushions back, he crossed briefly past the TV and headed to the piano in the corner. It wasn't a grand piano, by any means; even with Emi's current job, she couldn't afford one of her own, and Kousei certainly couldn't. No, it was simply an electric one, but no one usually complained.

A thought occurred to Emi, and she turned to Kousei. "Say, don't you have a student coming over today?"

Kousei nodded, and pulled out the piano stool. "Yeah. Since you're up already, I figured I'd play a few notes, to get warmed up, before he gets here."

Emi glared at Kousei, who trembled uncertainly beneath her eyes. "Wait a second. If you're warming up now, that means the lesson isn't too far off. Did you schedule this without thinking about how I like to sleep in? Ooh, you're lucky I'm already awake, mister!" Emi growled threateningly.

Kousei put his hands up defensively. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'd honestly forgot about that fact when I was scheduling it with him! It just worked out that way! But you're awake now, so it's fine!"

Emi grumbled something under her breath, but let it slide. "Fine. Just wear headphones until he gets here, alright? I'm trying to watch the TV."

Kousei nodded graciously, and, after plugging in headphones to the electric piano, began to play silently beside Emi. Even though she didn't exactly want to, Emi couldn't help but let her eyes pull away from the TV over to Kousei. His expression was just so mesmerizingly passionate as he played; it reminded Emi of the many faces of those she competed against in her youth. Even though she couldn't hear what he was playing, she could tell it was being played with all his heart.

Eventually, Emi got up and got dressed, shutting the TV off as she did so. As she was standing in her room, examining her clothes to decide what to wear, a thought occurred to her. If Kousei was having a student come over today, than they wouldn't just be able to use headphones. Emi would have to listen to them play. Not that this was a bad thing, of course. There had been times in the past when Emi enjoyed listening to the pieces Kousei and his students would play on the rare occasions she got to sit in, even to the degree that she chimed in with helpful tips and instructions or even played parts of the piece that they were practicing herself. But today, well…she just wasn't feeling up to it. Besides, she was starting to worry about Kousei.

That sad look on his face that had been so poignant last night lingered in Emi's mind. It wasn't the first time she'd seen it, though; there had been several occasions in the past where Kousei had slipped up and let it show. But now…Emi wasn't sure why, but last night really had alarmed her. She wasn't sure why Kousei was sad, but she knew she cared about him enough to not want him to be any longer. She wasn't a psychiatrist, though, so she didn't know how to figure it out.

Nagi's words from last night flashed in Emi's brain. "Fine. It's obvious you've got no clue yourself. Well, make sure you tell me once you do realize it, okay, Kousei?"

What had she meant by that? Well, whatever it was, Emi had a feeling it was the reason for Kousei's depressed expression last night. Hmm…if Kousei was going to be playing piano with his student for a few hours, then that would leave Emi plenty of time to, say…meet up with Nagi.

Her mind made up, Emi threw on some warmer clothes and headed back out to the living room. Nothing had changed; Kousei was still playing the piano, the TV was still displaying flashy ads.

Suddenly, the doorbell rung, causing Emi to jump. With the relative quiet of the apartment, she hadn't been expecting it. She sighed at herself and walked over to the door, peering through the peephole. Behind it, a boy, one who looked like he was in high school, was standing casually outside their apartment, glancing around nonchalantly and warming his hands in his pockets.

Emi unlocked the door and swung it open, and the kid looked up at her. For a brief moment, Emi felt satisfaction run through her as she realised that she was at least taller than this kid, before it dawned on her that she should probably be saying something.

"So. You're Kousei's student, then?" Emi asked, enjoying the intimidated expression on the boy's face.

"U-Uh…yes, ma'am, I-I'm Mr. Arima's student." The boy stuttered. "But, um…is he in there? Do I have the right address?"

"Yeah, he's right over there." Emi threw her thumb over her shoulder to point at Kousei. "This is my apartment, but he lives here with me." Stepping aside and opening the door wider, Emi motioned for the kid to come in.

The boy hesitated, but slowly stepped inside after her, and peered into the apartment. A wave of relied visibly passed over him as his eyes fell on Kousei practicing on the left side of the apartment. Seeming satisfied, the boy removed his boots, gloves and jacket and headed over to Kousei, sheet music in hand. He tapped Kousei on the shoulder, who had been playing passionately in his own world up to this point, causing Kousei to turn around and realise the boy was there. His eyes widening, he quickly pulled off his headphones.

"Ah! You're here!" Kousei exclaimed, before quickly pulling the headphones out of the piano and setting them aside. "I'm sorry; I must not have heard you come in. Well, let's get started then, shall we?"

The boy nodded, and Kousei got up to let him sit on the stool, whereupon he placed his sheet music on the stand mounted above the electric piano. Quickly, Kousei began to get right into the lesson, asking the boy questions about his practicing, about the piece, and about his technique. Emi was surprised at all the expertise Kousei still held with him after all this time.

She rarely ever got to see Kousei's lessons first-hand; they were usually at the students' houses. This one must have been an exception. It was interesting to watch Kousei handle his teaching smoothly. Every time the boy messed up, Kousei would be right there beside him, helping him through the issue and never putting him down for the mistake. It was so very like him, Emi thought. She recalled how Kousei had initially taught Nagi back when she was thirteen. She never was around to see the lessons play out, but according to Nagi, he was a horrific failure of a teacher. Well, if that was true, then he must have improved a lot. Emi was even a little jealous of the fact that Kousei could still play so well, even after all this time. Emi hadn't properly practiced in years; all occasions of her playing were just for fun. Watching Kousei teach, Emi felt old memories from when she was more of a professional on the piano flickered in her mind.

But still, she had no reason to stick around, watching the two, even if it was sort of interesting. Emi felt it might be a little weird for the kid if she was just sitting there, staring at him play. She quickly headed to the door, put on her winter attire, and opened it. "I'm heading out for a bit. See you, Kousei!"

Kousei, who was in the middle of playing something for the kid, glanced behind him at her. "Oh, okay! See you later!"

With that, Emi headed out of the apartment, the cold air enveloping her body as soon as she did. She pulled out her phone and checked it to see if Nagi had responded to the text she'd sent earlier. Sure enough, Nagi had already replied, saying she'd be alright with hanging out with her. Relieved she hadn't declined, Emi texted her where she wanted to meet up and when, before slipping her phone back into her pocket.

Emi then hopped into her car, started it up, and sat and waited for a bit while the engine warmed the car up. It was convenient, though; the inconvenience of having to wait. Emi knew Nagi's dorm was farther from the location they were supposed to meet up at than was Emi's apartment. She decided to pass the time by listening to the radio.

Finally, after a few songs had played, the car seemed adequately warmed up, prompting Emi to pull out of the parking lot. Still letting the radio play, she drove down the street, her mind thinking about the route she'd need to take. Taking the necessary turns and exits, Emi eventually reached the restaurant she and Nagi had planned on meeting up at. She pulled into a parking space and got out of her car, scanning the ones around her.

It suddenly occurred go Emi that she didn't know what Nagi's car looked like…or if she even had one. Giving up on her search, Emi concluded with a sigh that she'd find out whether Nagi was there once she went inside. Checking her watch, though, she realised she was a bit early, so, given Nagi's personality, she wouldn't be surprised if she'd have to wait ten minutes past the agreed-upon time for her.

Clicking a button on her keys to lock her car's doors, Emi walked hastily through the cold to get to the much-awaited warmth of the restaurant's inside. Heading through the doors, she was graced with its heated entrance.

Suddenly, Emi remembered why she'd came, and swiveled her head around, searching for Nagi in the café. Her eyes told her, to her own reluctantly expected dismay, that Nagi hadn't yet arrived. Sighing in irritation, Emi found an empty table and ordered a coffee. Sitting around while she waited for both Nagi and her order, Emi watched the passerby through the window across the café. They looked so carefree and content…it made Emi sort of jealous.

Finally, Nagi walked through the doors, just a few minutes after Emi's coffee had arrived. Nagi gave a quick scan if the tables before her eyes found Emi, who she waved to cheerfully and walked over to.

"Sorry I'm a bit late; the bus took a while to get to my stop." Nagi explained as she hung her purse over the back of the chair and sat down comfortably. "So, what is it you wanted to talk about?"

Emi blinked. "Hang on…how do you know I wanted to talk about something specific? What if I just wanted to hang out?"

Nagi scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Oh, please. I've known you for over seven years now. You're not exactly the most…sociable person I've ever met. You inviting me to hang out is almost definitely a case of you wanting to talk with me about something. So…" Nagi exhaled the word, clearly reluctant, "what is it you wanted to talk about, exactly?"

Emi shuffled in her seat uncomfortably, second thoughts poisoning her brain. Shaking them away and strengthening her resolve, she spoke. "Its about Kousei."

Instantly, upon the utterance of Kousei's name, Nagi's eyes lit up and her entire body seemed to suggest she was newly engaged. "About Kousei?" She repeated. "Well, that's all you had to say! I'd do anything to help my beloved!"

Emi chuckled nervously. "Heh, heh…you know, Nagi, you really have changed a lot since you were a kid. Back when you first performed with Kousei, I never would have expected you to be so direct with your feelings towards him."

Nagi frowned. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Enough about me. So, what is it about Kousei that's troubling you?"

Emi looked down hesitantly, but ultimately spoke her mind. "I…I'm worried about him. This has happened a bunch of times, spread over the course of a few years, now, but…well, sometimes, when he thinks I'm not paying attention, he'll get this look on his face, like, a really sad look, you know? It looks depressed. He always looks defeated, like he's given up, when he makes that expression. I dunno…maybe I should have said something about it before to someone, but the thought occurred to me to talk to you about it, especially after I remembered the comment you made yesterday."

Nagi smirked. "Oh, so you picked up on that? Then has it occurred to you what might be happening behind that façade he puts up?"

Emi returned Nagi's smirk with an anxious expression.

"I'll take that as a yes, but, just in case, I'll just tell you my theory directly." Nagi said. "I think Kousei is still in love with Kaori Miyazono."

The words hit Emi like truck, but somehow at the same time felt like something she'd been expecting. She didn't know exactly how, but she felt that deep down, for a long time now, that worry had been festering in her mind. But now that it had been directly mentioned, she felt the weight of the words more than ever before.

"Hm. Well, you're closer to him than I am. Do you think that's a good analysis?" Nagi asked nonchalantly.

"I…" Emi began, unsure of what to say. She sighed. "As much as I want to keep ignoring it, I think you're right."

Nagi's smug grin hadn't left her face as she sat back in her seat. "That's what I figured. I mean, all the evidence points to it, right? For one thing, he's never had a girlfriend. He always rejects my advances and has never made a move on you, or has even attempted dating anyone. Whenever the topic comes up, he always gets uncomfortable, and tries to change the subject. Plus, he always watches romantic comedies or dramas but seemingly never for the reasons others do."

Emi frowned. "Last night…he made the expression I talked about. The sad, defeated one. He was watching a romantic drama, and staring at it with an empty expression. I get really worried. I mean, you'd think after seven years he'd finally move on, but it seems like he's still stuck on her. Like…what if he never gets past it? What if, until his final moments, Kousei still daydreams about the life he never got to have with Kaori?"

"Well, if that ends up happening, remind me to kick his ass." Nagi fumed. "Seriously, if he gets so obsessed over a fantasy, then he deserves it." Sighing, she leaned forward. "But I will give him credit for keeping it fairly hidden this whole time. It's a major feat to keep something secret from me, you know!"

Emi sighed as well. "Oh, Nagi, what am I supposed to do? I want to help him move on, but I don't know how. I'm not really a 'people person'."

"You can say that again." Nagi deadpanned. "But seriously, if you want him to move on, you just need to think about the core of the issue. He loved Kaori romantically, so all you need to do is fill in his romantic desires!"

Emi glared at Nagi. "If you're suggesting I go out with him, you can forget about it."

"No, of course not." Nagi replied dismissively. "I just mean you should get him on the dating scene. Clearly thinking about Kaori is a sad thing for him, but he can't help but do it. Dating a girl will get him to think about her instead, which will make him happy, which will in turn make him want to be with her even more! It's a simple solution, really."

"And I'm guessing you want to be the girl he dates, huh?" Emi remarked.

Nagi gave a melancholic chuckle. "Heh, heh…of course I'd love it if I could go out with Kousei. But it's clear he's not interested in me, no matter what I do. I'd only cause him more sadness. Its kind of hard for me to swallow, but the fact of the matter is Kousei will never look at me…not like that."

The poignancy of the statement hung over the two like a cloudy sky dampening the mood. Nagi's face was a sad smile, almost reminiscent of the kinds of smiles Kousei would make: superficially reassuring while hiding the internal sadness. Emi could tell Nagi didn't like the way things were, but that she couldn't change the situation. She was right, after all. Kousei never would fall for her; that much was evident after the years of doggedly going after him Nagi had put in. Even though it was surprising to see Nagi of all people hiding her sadness behind a smile, Emi unfortunately understood.

"Well, anyway…" Nagi sat straight in her seat, her demeanor returned to its usual confident state. "Emi, if you really are that worried about any lingering affection Kousei might have for Kaori, then just find him a girl to go out with. Or don't. I mean, you don't have to do anything right away, if you don't want to. It's just something to think about."

Emi frowned. Find him a girl to go out with? She said it as though it was a simple, easy task. Well, but Nagi was right about one thing: Emi was concerned about Kousei. She wasn't completely on board with setting him up with a girl and calling it good, but the potentiality that he still wasn't over Kaori even after all this time was alarming. Before acting, though, Emi wanted to confirm. Of course, how to go about doing that was another issue entirely.

"Thanks, Nagi," Emi at last replied. "You've been a big help. I'll definitely try your advice."

"Yeah, well, anything for Kousei, right?" Nagi grinned. "Well, anyway, I'll see you later, then. It was fun chatting with you!" With that, Nagi grabbed her purse and left, waving Emi goodbye as she did.

Emi returned the wave, before being left to sit amidst the quiet jumble of conversations mixing in the café, alone except for her thoughts. The issue of Kousei still floated around in her mind. What did she want to do? Did she want to immediately try to hook him up with some girl like Nagi had suggested? No, that didn't seem right, or fair to Kousei. It felt like she would be treating his feelings lightly, which, in light of the situation, wouldn't be the best idea; and besides, he probably wouldn't take it seriously anyway, which would defeat the purpose.

But then what would she do? She felt like she had to do something, but she didn't know what. Hmm…if the core of the issue was indeed his lingering feelings for Kaori, then she'd better focus on that. In that case, the best course of action would actually be confirming for sure that he still did have feelings for her instead if relying solely on Nagi's theory…right? Except…Emi didn't know how to do that. All the proof she really had was speculative connections between various evidences; nothing concrete, so she'd need something more. But she had no idea how to get it. It wasn't like she was a sleuth or something; and in a situation like this, she couldn't just go snooping around for clues.

Maybe…maybe she should talk to him directly.

Was that even a plausible plan? Emi kind of doubted it, even though in retrospect it seemed like the obvious solution. Especially whenever Kaori would come up in conversation, Kousei would shrink away, and would keep quiet, not really wanting to talk about her at all. Emi didn't think that he'd be willing to talk with her about such a sensitive as well as heavy topic.

So what should she do?

The question floated around in her head as she tossed some money on the table, got up, and headed to her car to drive away from the worrisome conversation that had found a home in that café.

.

As a good six out of seven days of each week were usually spent working, Emi was not accustomed to knowing how to spend her weekends, and given that this weekend she'd been given a special extra day off, Emi felt particularly unsure of what she would do when she got back to her apartment, both because of the lingering issue in relation to Kousei, who she would be encountering upon her return, and because of the risk that the lesson he was giving might not yet be over once she did return; Emi hadn't checked beforehand. As such, she procrastinated the drive back to her apartment by doing some useless, solo shopping at the mall for a while. In the end she hadn't bought anything, and found herself already almost back home.

Sighing as she got out of her car, Emi headed up to her apartment's door to open it, but stopped short. Cupping her ear against it, she strained to hear music from inside, though realized midway through that such an act was pointless given the thickness of the door. Ultimately, she just decided to go in and accept the consequences. Oh, well. It wasn't like it would be the worst thing in the world to walk in on their piano lesson.

Before going in, Emi made sure to grab the mail from the mailbox. Opening the door, mail in hand, Emi stepped inside, and saw that the kid from before was indeed still there. It appeared as though he'd been in the middle of playing when she'd interrupted.

"O-Oh, sorry for interrupting," Emi apologized as she removed her coat and boots.

"Its alright," Kousei replied dismissively. "We're just about done here anyway. The lesson's scheduled to be over in about five minutes."

Emi nodded, and took off her boots before heading to the kitchen area, where she casually leaned against a counter to glance at the mail. Most of it was either advertisements or bills that she'd have to deal with sometime later, but near the bottom she stopped.

It was a letter from Watari. Emi raised her eyebrows in surprise. That was strange. Why was Watari mailing her stuff? Thinking, Emi realized it must have been for Kousei. She couldn't help but wonder herself what was within the envelope, though. Controlling herself, however, Emi set it on the counter and made a mental note to remind Kousei of it when he was done.

Soon enough, Kousei had given his student his last bit of advice for the day, and the kid was heading to the door with his sheet music in his hands. After he'd put on all his winter gear, he waved goodbye to Kousei and left, disappearing from sight with Kousei's closing of the door.

"Sorry about that, Igawa," Kousei apologized. "I really should have told you that his lesson was going to be here instead of at his house like usual. I'd just forgotten that you'd gotten an extra day off and thought it'd be fine."

Emi gave him a reprimanding scowl, but ultimately softened her expression. "Ah, it's fine. Just let me know, next time. It's my apartment, remember?"

Kousei rubbed his neck sheepishly with a nervous laugh. "Heh, heh…"

"Oh, yeah, you got a letter," Emi said, sliding it across the island. "From Watari. I don't know what it's about, but you should probably take a look."

"From Watari?" Kousei repeated confusedly, taking the letter and examining it. "Huh. I wonder what it says." Ripping the envelope open, Kousei took out the actual letter, and flipped it the right way around to read it. Despite herself, Emi's curiosity forced her to go around the island to the side Kousei was on so she could see as well.

The two took a look at the letter. It seemed fairly standard, with no special attributes. Just a paragraph of writing on a white sheet of paper.

Kousei, who was holding it, decided to read aloud. "Uh…Dear Kousei and Emi—oh, he sent this to both of us, then?" Kousei remarked, glancing at Emi with surprise before continuing. "As you may or may not know, Tsubaki's returning from her stay in America! And because I'm such a good friend, I decided to host her welcome back party, which will be occurring next Friday at nine. You two are invited, of course, and feel free to bring presents. I hope to see you there!"

Finished reading, Kousei glanced wide-eyed at Emi. "Wow. Tsubaki's returning, then, huh? It's been so long since I'd last seen her, I must have forgotten to pay attention to when she was due to come back."

Emi frowned pensively. "Hmm…oh yeah, she _was_ in America, wasn't she? I forget why, though."

"Well, I'm not exactly sure of the details, but I guess she was staying there for her university program or something. I think she was studying English there or something?" Kousei theorized.

"Out of anyone, I would have expected you to know the most about the happenings in Tsubaki's life, Kousei." Emi scolded, jabbing him lightly in the ribs. "Aren't you her childhood friend? Hell, isn't she one of your closer friends in general?"

Kousei frowned sadly. "Well…we were. Its just…after the whole thing with…after…after _that_ happened…Tsubaki and I kind of grew more distant. I'm not sure why or if it was either if our faults, but that's just the way things worked out. We were still sort of friends when she left for America, but after that, we didn't talk much, given the problems of long distance communications and all that…well, in short, we're not nearly as close as before. Knowing her, though, she'll greet me the same as always at the party and pretend she was never gone."

Emi stared concernedly up at Kousei as he recounted the events. It sounded like he was sad about what had happened between him and Tsubaki, but yet again, the sort of defeated look Emi had noticed before was creeping in on his expression and even in his tone of voice. It was like the distance that had formed in between Tsubaki and him was something he'd accepted, like a fact of life he hadn't bothered to fight.

"Well…whatever you say," Emi finally said, turning on her heel and heading in the direction of the closet at the end of the hall. "C'mon, we can worry about the party later. Right now we've got to do some chores, and you're going to be helping out big time, buster. You don't stay at my place for free, remember? This'll be payment for the fact that I don't make you pay as much rent as I should."

Kousei nodded as he joined her over by the closet. "I know, I know. I'm sorry the income of a teacher is less than one of an office worker in some big ticket company."

"Hey! No sass!" Emi scolded, before handing him a vacuum. "I'll be washing the bathroom, and you'll be vacuuming the place, got it?"

"OK..." Kousei sighed.

The rest of the day was mostly spent doing chores and subsequently goofing off once the two got distracted. While Emi was separated from Kousei, her cleaning the bathroom and him vacuuming the place, they were able to actually be productive, but as soon as the two were in the same room together, like when they shared the task of dusting, Emi decided to play some of her dance music while they worked, and soon it devolved into a dance party for the two of them, using the feather dusters as microphones and sliding down the hall on their socks. Emi found herself having so much fun that the whole problem she'd talked with Nagi about earlier that day seemed like it hadn't even happened. At least for now she wanted to enjoy this moment; whether for Kousei's sake or her own she wasn't sure.

Pretty soon evening arrived, and, being as classy as she was, Emi opted to simply order take-out as opposed to actually going out someplace. Luckily, however, Kousei was never one to judge, and Emi had guessed that he wasn't really in the mood to get all dressed up and go someplace to eat.

After she'd placed the order, Emi flopped onto the couch and grabbed the remote to turn on the TV. "Hey, Kousei," she called.

Kousei appeared from the hallway. "Yeah?"

"What do you wanna watch?" Emi asked as she went on to Netflix and began scrolling through some of the movie options. "I want to watch a movie, so do you have any suggestions?"

Kousei joined her on the couch. "Hmm…how about that one?" He pointed to the screen at the movie Emi was on. It looked like the romantic drama that had been on the other day. Emi narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Kousei. It hadn't really been something she'd thought about directly, but the thought had been floating around in her head: I wonder if this movie was making him think of Kaori.

Still, though, she couldn't know for sure, and she wasn't going to get in a fight with Kousei about something so trivial. Well, at least it might be a good way to tell. Emi nodded her agreement, hit play, and sat back.

The movie started, and Emi turned off the lights so that the only thing lighting her apartment was the TV screen. The romantic drama turned out to be pretty slow-paced, with a lot of gradual build, but Emi found herself getting pretty into it. The two main characters, love interests for each other, were constantly friends throughout most of it, but Emi could tell they had feelings for one another. Then, in the final act, the girl had to move away because of her family, leaving the boy broken-hearted. Miraculously, though, she came back at the end, and the two became a couple, making for a heart-warming happy ending.

As the movie reached the credits, Emi couldn't help but study Kousei's expression. It was, just as she'd feared, his sad, depressed, defeated one, and it seemed to be in full swing whenever the two main characters were the most intimate. But then, curiously, right at the end, when the girl came back to the boy, Kousei's eyes welled up with tears, and a sort of happiness flickered across them, like the sight of the two returning to one another gave him joy.

As the end credits finally rolled, Emi sat back in her seat and stared up at the ceiling. It was undeniable. Kaori was clearly on Kousei's mind, all the time, haunting him.

Emi just wondered how long it would take before the ghost took Kousei's soul with it.

.

 **Well, here it is, everyone! My next fanfiction.**

 **I know I said I was going on a bit of a hiatus, which I did, but maybe you guys were expecting something more drastic, in which case…I'm sorry for misleading you? Well, I'm back at any rate! And I hope you guys really like this one! I know I loved writing it.**

 **This one was a bit of a weird one. I honestly wasn't sure what anime to write about, but eventually I wondered what life might be like for characters past their series' endings, and I applied it to Your Lie in April. I think I enjoyed this one a lot because it's not really what one might expect a story continuing off of YLIA to be, as it focuses on characters other than the main ones (with the exception of Kousei, of course). I think it's interesting seeing his life now in this scenario, and I hope you do too.**

 **Well, anyway, as always, I hope you like it, and please feel free to leave me a comment, fav and follow. Also, this will be several chapters long, I just don't know how many long. We'll see where it takes me.**

 **Until next time!**


	2. Chapter 2: Slowly Drowning

The next morning was the second of two days off Emi got that weekend. Usually her work only allowed her a single day of respite each week, but luckily she'd done enough overtime to earn herself an extra day. Instead of spending it doing whatever the hell she wanted, though, Emi was forced to head to the mall with Kousei.

"I still don't see why we can't just do it later," Emi complained as she switched lanes. "I'll have enough time on any of the weekdays to get it done. Hell, you could do it yourself! I don't need to be there."

Kousei shook his head. "This is better. You have this free time, so we might as well use it. Plus, I'm sure Tsubaki would much rather a gift from both of us than two from me."

Emi couldn't help but laugh, much to Kousei's irritation. "What are you talking about? I barely even know Tsubaki! You two are actual friends. Believe me, I'm sure she'd be overjoyed to receive two presents from you."

Kousei frowned, looking at Emi admonishingly. "Nevertheless, as a guest coming to her welcome back party, it's good manners to buy her a gift yourself."

Emi sighed in surrender. "I know, I know..."

A brief moment of silence passed over the two housemates as Emi took an exit towards the mall. Finally, Kousei spoke again. "Actually, do you know if Nagi was invited?"

Emi shrugged. "You'd know better than I would. You're the first person she texts the instant anything happens in her life, after all, Romeo." Emi grinned at Kousei, although he didn't share it. "Well, uh...I guess I can ask her. It's just...we're really just friends by association with you. The two of us don't really hang out unless you're around."

Kousei nodded. "I guess that's true. Sorry if she gets on your nerves, by the way. I know Nagi can be a little much at times."

"It's fine, it's fine," Emi assured him. "Besides, it's really you who seems to get bothered by her, right?"

Kousei rolled his eyes, trying to hide a growing smile. "Ha, ha. Enough with the teasing about me and Nagi already."

Eventually after a hearty deal of continued teasing from Emi directed at Kousei, the two finally made it to the mall. Locking her car, Emi followed Kousei into the large building. They were there to purchase a present for Tsubaki's welcome back party; something that would undoubtedly be a piece of cake for Kousei but something rather difficult for Emi. After all, he was the one who actually knew her. Tsubaki had been on one side of Kousei's life, while Emi had been on the other. Their only connection was through Kousei, yet for some reason Watari had decided to invite her as well. What was she even supposed to get her? She knew nothing about her! Prodding Kousei proved next to useless; apparently they'd grown so distant Kousei didn't know what to get her either. That or he was just thinking about it too much like he always did. Hmm...maybe _Emi_ was thinking about it too much.

In the end, Emi had followed Kousei around the mall for a while as he weaved in and out of stores that caught his eye. Each one proved to be a bust save for the last, where he finally decided on a pair of mittens. Emi had at one point during her following Kousei picked up a scarf as her present for Tsubaki, seeing as every other possibility her mind came up with seemed just as good.

By the time the two had finished inadvertently covering the entire mall due to Kousei's indecision, it was already noon. Emi was too tired to go back home and make something herself for lunch, and to Kousei's protest (he insisted on a healthy diet) she dragged him to the food court where they picked up some fast food. Despite his opposition to the food, Kousei eventually gave in after his stomach gurgled a few times while he stared at it.

Once they'd finished, they returned to Emi's car and began to head back to her apartment for some well-deserved rest before Kousei once again ruined Emi's happy thoughts.

"Hold on, hold on," Kousei suddenly said, interrupting Emi's fantasy of sleeping on the world's comfiest bed. "Do you have anything to wrap these gifts with?"

Emi groaned at him. "Seriously. We can just do it another time! Why do you always have to be so proactive with these sorts of things?"

"If I'm not, things won't ever get done." Kousei lectured. "I know you too well, Igawa. This isn't very high on your list of priorities. If we leave it, then every time you come home from work next week you're going to just watch movies all night long and forget to even go out and buy wrapping paper."

Emi frowned. "Fine, we'll do it now. But I'm not wasting time on wrapping paper. We're getting bags, got it?"

"Deal," Kousei agreed with a smile.

And so Emi reluctantly turned off at the next exit and headed to a 100 yen store to pick up two party bags and some of the useless paper to go on top. Kousei finally satisfied, Emi and he returned to the car with their items and went back home. By the time they at last arrived back at Emi's apartment, it was two in the afternoon. Emi scowled menacingly at the clock as she took off her winter clothes beside Kousei. She hated that they'd wasted so much time on something so little, but unfortunately Emi's apartment was really far from the nearest mall. Ugh…she'd spent half of her day off on useless shopping!

Flopping down into the warm embrace of the couch, Emi, still miffed about the last few hours but glad to be getting a break, grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. As usual, it was still stuck on the movie channel. This time an action flick was playing.

The sounds of Kousei shuffling around behind her reached Emi's ears as she checked the other movie channels. "You sure you don't want to wrap the gifts now?" Kousei called from the kitchen as he set the purchased items down on the island.

"Ugh," Emi groaned. "Don't even speak to me about chores again today, Kousei. I just want to relax on my extra day off."

Kousei chuckled nervously behind her. "Alright, how about I just do it then?"

Emi gave shot a thumbs-up over the top of the couch, not even bothering to turn around.

As Emi's position on the couch slowly devolved until her shoulders were touching the seat while she lazily watched the movie she'd decided on, the sounds of crinkling paper could be heard, indicating Kousei had indeed followed through and begun to wrap the gifts. Among the rapping of the firmer paper of the bag against Kousei's hand as he stuffed one of the gifts in, a peculiar jingle rang.

"Ah," Kousei relayed what had happened, "it's Nagi." Emi made a noncommittal grunt in response. "She says that she got an invite to Tsubaki's party and was wondering if we were coming. Hold on, I'll text her back."

"That girl," Emi remarked with a chuckle. "What did I tell you? The instant she got her invite, she texted you."

"Well, we don't know for sure that she _just_ got it." Kousei pointed out. "Also, stop teasing me about her."

Emi sighed, and returned her attention to the climax of the action movie before her as Kousei's wrapping could be heard faintly behind her. Whatever; she didn't much care about this party (given that it was being hosted by someone she hardly knew and being thrown for someone she knew even less) and she wasn't too ecstatic to be wrapping presents for a girl she hadn't spoken to in over a year. She was just going to let Kousei do the present wrapping part himself while she did something she actually wanted to do: watch dumb movies all day long. This was when not paying Kousei rent came in handy; he had to do menial tasks like these while she got to slack off.

Eventually, the action movie Emi had been enjoying had finished and she had already made it halfway through its sequel before Kousei removed his headphones. He'd been playing the piano for a good while now, and though his finger movements were indeed mesmerizing, Emi did really like these action flicks, no matter how cheesy they were, so she didn't even notice when he'd stopped.

"Igawa?" Kousei said, grabbing her attention. "Nagi just texted me. She wants me to go out and get a gift with her."

"Get a gift with her?" Emi repeated with some subdued incredulity. "You just went and got a gift with me. Now you're doing it again? You know you don't _have_ to go along with whatever she suggests, right?"

Kousei nodded. "I know. But it's not like I dislike hanging out with her. Plus, I like being out and about." Without waiting for a response from Emi, Kousei set his headphones aside, got up, and took long strides over to the door. Putting on his winter gear, he waved bye to Emi. "I'll see you in a bit!" With that, he walked out and shut the door behind him.

Emi frowned. Even if both of those things were true, she couldn't help but feel like there was another reason Kousei was leaving so suddenly. A sudden thought occurred to her: what if he was lying? What if Nagi didn't actually text him? The notion might have seemed strange and unnecessarily paranoid, but with Kousei's progressively apparent lovesickness for Kaori, Emi felt somewhat on edge when it came to him. It was like every sentence from his mouth was just a front to cover up his longing. Emi knew such thoughts were at this point still just speculation; there hadn't been much physical evidence yet; but she still felt like there was a certain rational to them. At any rate, she decided she would text Nagi to confirm whether she really was going gift shopping with Kousei.

Pulling out her phone, Emi sent Nagi a message asking if she was meeting up with Kousei now. A minute or two later a reply came: "Yep! Let's hope he won't try to run away like last time!"

Exhaling some partial relief, Emi relaxed in her couch. Of course, of course…why wouldn't Kousei be telling the truth? She was just being paranoid. It wasn't like Kaori was eating away at Kousei all the time.

Yet for some reason, Emi still felt uneasy. An uncomfortable feeling churned in the pit of her stomach as she frowned involuntarily at the ad playing. Why she couldn't shake it, she didn't know, but soon it became all too evident that she couldn't focus on the next movie playing. Even if she really was being irrational, and even if this strange feeling indeed was just paranoia, Emi still wanted to know for sure.

Pulling out her phone again, Emi decided to send Nagi another message. "Where are you meeting?"

The reply came quickly. "Just at the mall we usually go to. Why?"

"What time will you be done?"

The next reply took a bit longer. "Not sure. We'll finish once I've decided on a present, I guess. Keep in mind that I'd rather spend more time with Kousei than less, though!"

Emi frowned as she sent her next message. "How much time do you think it'll take at the very least?"

"Hmm…I guess half an hour? Why are you asking so many questions?"

"I've just got a bad feeling. I'll head to the mall in half an hour. Once you're done, meet me in the lady's section of that big retail store. I'll wait until you're finished."

"Okay…is this about the whole Kaori thing? What exactly do you want to do?"

Furrowing her brow, Emi tapped the keys quickly. "I'll explain once we've met up. See you."

With that, Emi sighed exasperatedly as she leaned her head back in the couch. Somehow, she was getting the feeling that Kousei was hiding something from everyone. Thinking back on things, given that she was always at work most days and his job was more flexible, Kousei totally would have had the chance to slip out and do whatever he wanted whenever Emi wasn't home. With Kaori suddenly in the mix, Emi was getting even more worried that this really was the case. If Kousei really was sneaking off someplace, she could check now. It wouldn't be a definite confirmation, but at least if he didn't do anything suspicious afterwards this time, it would let her rest just a little easier.

Further putting her plan into action, Emi tapped Kousei's name in the contacts section of her phone. "I'm heading out to run a few errands. I might not be there when you get back."

Returning to her movie, Emi attempted to enjoy it while she could, though the lingering bad feeling poisoned the experience. After a few minutes of watching, Kousei replied with a simple okay. Emi exhaled irately as she frowned at the screen before her. The minutes crawled by despite the option of the movie in front if her. By the time ten minutes were up, Emi became fed up and decided to screw around on the piano for a while. She wasn't as good as she had been in her youth, but that didn't much matter to her anymore as she played simple tunes for fun.

Eventually, enough time had passed that Emi decided she ought to leave. Making sure to shut off all the lights, lock the door behind her and slip the key into the usual inconspicuous corner she always left it when Kousei would need it before her, Emi headed out to her car and drove off.

The drive to the mall somehow seemed to zoom by. It felt like a sped up version of earlier that morning, except Emi wore a perpetual frown as a result of the uneasy feeling in her gut. Driving into the parking lot, it occurred to Emi that Kousei would have had to have taken the bus here. Accordingly, she parked far from the stop.

Getting out of and locking her car, Emi unfolded the collar of her jacket so that it covered her mouth. Her ensemble was such that Kousei wouldn't easily recognize her. She wore the aforementioned high-collared black jacket, with a white sweater underneath. Her hat was pulled down on her head, the brim low to cover her face. Wearing the one pair of jeans she never wore because they were just a bit too tight, Emi quickly removed the hat, put her hair in a ponytail, and put the hat back on. She rarely wore her hair any way other than as it was (excluding when she was at work, of course) meaning that overall, she doubted Kousei would even associate any degree of familiarity to her.

Walking into the mall, Emi immediately headed to the store she'd asked Nagi to meet up with her at. Reaching the section of the store they'd planned for, Emi decided to pretend to browse so as not to draw suspicion from those around her. Attempting to dress outside how she normally did consequently resulted in looking a tad strange.

Sighing in boredom, Emi took solace that her bad feeling hadn't subsided yet. Although that ultimately wasn't good, it did mean she wasn't wasting her time. Pulling out her phone, Emi checked for any new messages. There were none. She supposed that she ought not to respond. If she did, there was a chance Kousei might steal a glance at their conversation over Nagi's shoulder when she replied. No, Emi would just wait until Nagi arrived, hoping it wouldn't take long.

The wait wasn't horrible in the end. After pacing back and forth slowly in the same section if the store for about fifteen minutes, Emi was approached by a passing employee, who offered to help her find whatever she might be looking for. Emi declined and hoped no one else would talk with her. The less suspicion, the better. It only took a few more minutes to pass before Nagi at last arrived.

"Hey!" Nagi greeted her, slightly out of breath.

"Hey," Emi replied. "Took you long enough. You know, you could've texted me once you were done."

"Yeah, but we were close to here anyhow, and I didn't feel like it." Nagi said dismissively. "So, now that I've committed to whatever this is, mind telling me what exactly you're doing?"

Emi sighed. "Knowing you, you're probably not going to be happy hearing something like this, but…I've just got this bad feeling about Kousei, somehow. It's been bugging me ever since he left. I feel like I should check out where he's going after this."

Nagi frowned, clearly unimpressed. "Is that it? Look, I'm sure whatever he might be doing is nothing bad. Why don't you put a little trust in him?"

Emi's brow furrowed. "I'm not sure exactly, but I don't think that'll cut it. I need to know for myself that everything's alright with him."

Nagi sighed. "Fine. Whatever you have to do, I guess. Just don't drag me into it, okay?" Nagi made to turn and leave, but was caught hastily by Emi's outstretched arm as the older girl desperately grabbed her.

"Please?" Emi said. "I already don't like doing this, but it'd be better if you were alongside me."

"Has it occurred to you that I might have a life outside of meeting you at various random places whenever you ask for it?" Nagi countered. Pausing for a moment, the blonde let out a reluctant sigh. "Fine. I guess I wasn't planning to do anything in particular today, anyway. Lead on!"

Emi nodded. "To the bus stop!"

And so they headed off. The retail store wherein they'd met was relatively close to an exit out of the mall, so they only had to walk past a few more outlets before they were caressed by winter's cold embrace once again. As Nagi shivered behind her, Emi carefully and cautiously made her way across the parking lot, her head on a swivel as she watched for Kousei, ready to duck out of sight at the sight of him. She knew he didn't have a car; the only way he arrived here would have been via a bus. This in mind, Emi had deliberately parked her car far away from the bus stop. She could follow the bus he'd get on no problem; the issue would be making sure Kousei didn't see and subsequently recognize her car while he was waiting for it.

Arriving at her car without incident, Emi glanced at Nagi over her shoulder, who was scowling miserably. Clearly she didn't handle the cold well. "Nagi, did you drive here?"

Nagi shook her head. "No, a friend dropped me off. She was planning on going somewhere, and when she told me, I had the idea to go out gift shopping with Kousei, seeing as I'd just gotten the invitation. I was also planning on taking the bus back to my dorm with him, but now that I'm being roped into your weird schemes, I'm expecting a ride home."

Emi sighed. "Yeah, yeah…"

Emi got in her car, Nagi looping around to get in the passenger's seat. Starting it up, Emi backed out of her parking space. She frowned at the task before her. Not only was she going to have to deal with maneuvering within a parking lot, which was a task in it of itself, but she would also have to continue to keep a vigilant eye out for Kousei. At this point, she couldn't turn back. Not to mention that the bad feeling in the pit of her stomach hadn't left; if anything, it'd grown stronger.

Luckily, the parking lot proved less tricky than other times Emi had faced it. Fairly soon, she and Nagi had driven all the way out of the parking lot and out to the street lining it. The bus stop was sided with trees, and was pretty close to a residential area. Perfect. Grinning nastily, Emi took a somewhat convoluted path into the residential area and parked just within view of the bus stop. Sure enough, Kousei was standing there, his gaze fixed in the direction the bus would ultimately come from. Everything was perfectly placed; the position of the bus stop was such that it was unlikely for Kousei to turn around in the first place, and even if he did it was improbable he would even notice Emi's car behind the house it was parked next to. Plus, most of his attention was directed down the street where the bus would be coming from, which minimized the chances of him glancing at them. As an added bonus, the trees next to the stop provided some extra cover. They wouldn't be noticed, Emi was certain.

"Ugh, this is so boring!" Nagi groaned, interrupting Emi's mischievous thoughts. "Honestly, what are you expecting to happen? Even if he doesn't go straight back to your place, where's he gonna go that's so worrying to you?"

Emi frowned. She couldn't answer, mostly because she didn't quite know, herself. This entire scheme of hers was relying on a bad feeling in her gut, something that could've just been a paranoia-induced illusion. But somehow, she knew she should follow it. It was telling her something. She just had to wait a little longer.

Eventually, the bus finally came. Emi quickly reversed and headed back out onto the street. The bus was already driving away by the time Emi had managed to pull onto the busier road. Following behind the bus, Emi kept a close eye out for anyone getting on and off the stops. While she kept her eyes firmly on the bus, Nagi, who was dying of boredom, turned on the radio and selected a channel she liked, the song playing from which she began to sing alone to. Emi was somewhat irritated by the distraction, but at this point she was thoroughly focused. Even if she was completely wrong, she was going to find out where Kousei was going.

"You know that if he's being a good boy he'll head straight back to your place, right?" Nagi asked. "What're you gonna do once he gets back and realizes you're not there?"

"I told him I was running some errands," Emi replied somewhat dismissively, most of her attention on the people getting off at the stop the bus had just arrived at.

Still humming along to the tube playing in the car, Nagi pulled out her phone. After a bit of tapping, her expression changed in reaction to something, though Emi couldn't discern what the change meant. "Hmm…you could be right about him, Emi. He's definitely not going back to your place."

Emi's heart skipped a beat as she glanced at Nagi. "Really?"

"Yeah," Nagi said, flashing her the image on her phone. Emi only had a brief glance at it before she realized the bus was heading off again, but she could still figure out that it was a bus route. "This bus route doesn't lead anywhere near your apartment. I wonder where he's going?"

Emi's heart began to pound a bit as the bad feeling in the pit of her stomach worsened. Did that mean she was right? Was Kousei really doing something behind her back? What was it? Wait, wait, wait…that was jumping to conclusions. There was no saying for sure he was doing anything bad. Maybe he thought he'd pick something up from the grocery store or something. Still, knowing he was sneaking off still confirmed her suspicions, at least to some degree.

The bus continued along its route, generally staying straight, only turning once or twice. Emi followed it every step of the way, though tried to keep her distance. She wasn't sure whether anyone around her would care that she was following a bus, or that the bus driver had even noticed her presence, but better safe than sorry, Emi reasoned. As they drove, Nagi kept up with constant updates on where the bus was headed next.

Just when Emi was beginning to doubt Kousei would ever get off the bus, she found herself watching him leave it as she sat stopped behind the bus. Her heartbeat quickening, Emi hastily got into the lane beside the bus so as to reduce the chance of Kousei seeing her. Pulling into a nearby parking lot, Emi watched him from afar.

A strip of little shops ran down the street Kousei was on. From behind her window, Emi and Nagi spied him walking down the street, his breath visible in front of him. Walking onwards, Kousei passed shop after shop. Emi's mind began to think of more and more potential reasons he'd be here, each one either plausible to the point that she needn't worry or ridiculous to the point that it wasn't even worth considering. Between the different theories, though, one question still trumped all those floating in Emi's head: "What is Kousei doing?"

Then, she saw it.

There, sitting across the street, was the Miyazono bakery.

Emi felt her heart catch in her throat as Kousei entered the shop belonging to Kaori's parents. She had been right! She knew her bad feeling was a sign. Was this where Kousei had been going all this time? Was he sneaking out to visit the family of his deceased first love whenever Emi was at work? No, wait, that was just a hunch of hers. There was no guarantee he was sneaking here actively.

"No way," Nagi breathed. Leaning forward in her seat, the blonde's eyes narrowed on the door Kousei had just disappeared behind. " _This_ is where he went?" Nagi paused. "You think he's been doing this because he's still in love with Kaori?"

Emi frowned. She didn't doubt that that was indeed the case, but still…just because Kousei was visiting the bakery belonging to the Miyazono family behind her back didn't necessarily mean anything bad.

"Well, I guess this confirms our theory, huh?" Nagi went on. "Or maybe he's moved on from Kaori, but just wants to make it up to her parents. It would fit his overly nice personality."

"I knew he was doing something without me knowing," Emi said, at last voicing her thoughts. "Why, though? Has he been doing this a lot? Or is this a one-time thing?"

Nagi shrugged. "Well, you could always ask the shop owners. Once Kousei's gone, of course." Nagi gave Emi a concerned frown. "You're not gonna get mad at him for doing this, are you? I mean, in the grand scheme of things, this really isn't that bad. He's just visiting her parents."

Emi sighed. "I guess not. But…I want to know whether he's been doing this a lot or not. If it's a unique occasion, I won't even say anything about it to him. But…I'm just worried about him. If he's still hung up on Kaori, then this is proof. If he can't move on from her, he'll never be truly happy, I can tell. I don't want him to always live his life with regret weighing him down."

Nagi sat back in her seat. "Well, then you'll definitely want to check with his parents. Like I said, though, we'll have to wait until he's finished in there."

And so they waited. The bad feeling that had been simmering in Emi's insides finally started to go away, replaced instead by a desire to protect Kousei. Even after all this time, Kousei still felt like a boy in need of help to Emi. She couldn't just leave him be. With these thoughts filling Emi's emotion-addled brain, she and Nagi sat in her car, their eyes firmly fixed on the entrance to the Miyazono bakery.

Eventually, Kousei exited the shop, a bag baring the bakery's logo in his hand. Emi held her breath as she waited for him to recognize her car across the street, but luckily he never even glanced that way. Emi's eyes followed him down the sidewalk as he headed ostensibly for the nearest bus stop. Once he was safely out of their sight, Emi got out, Nagi following suit a second later. Bracing against the cold, they crossed the street illegally and aimed straight for the bakery.

Bursting into the little shop, Emi's nostrils were greeted by the alluring smell of many baked goods. Looking around the bakery, it occurred to her that she'd never been here. Kousei had on occasion talked about where Kaori's parents worked, but Emi herself had never seen it firsthand. It was small and quaint, not unlike the woman standing at the counter.

"Welcome!" She called. She looked to be in her fifties. She must have been Kaori's mother.

Emi recalled why she was there and hurriedly walked across the small shop to the counter where the woman stood, Nagi following behind her.

"What can I do for you?" The woman greeted. Her cheery smile seemed to be genuine, though a certain permanent sadness was etched into it, like a scar that had faded but refused to leave entirely. It reminded Emi of the expression Kousei often made, likely because the looks had originated from the same event.

"Hello, ma'am," Emi said. "Um…I'm not sure if I should be asking this, or if it's my business to ask about your customers, but…did a young man come in here a few minutes ago?"

The woman regarded her thoughtfully. "Why, yes, as a matter of fact. Kousei Arima." The woman chuckled. "He always comes here. Why, are you friends with him?"

Emi couldn't immediately respond. She'd felt the weight of the word 'always' slam into her. Did that mean what she thought it meant? "Uh…when you say always, how frequent do you mean? As in…like monthly? Or maybe twice a month?"

The woman shook her head. "No, actually, his visits make him one of our most regular customers. It's not always consistent, but usually he comes around here at least once a week. It's always the same thing, too. Funny, that man is. He really means a lot to my husband and me."

But Emi wasn't listening. That was it. There was no denying it. Kousei had been coming here every week, for a long enough time that he'd become a regular. Her suspicions had been right. If he kept coming here after all this time, it certainly wasn't for the quality of bread. Bread was never Kousei's favourite. It was unquestionably because he felt…guilty? Sorry? At the very least, he felt for the family of the girl he loved. Surely he was doing this because she'd have wanted him to. At this point, Emi had only one question left, but she couldn't find the effort to pronounce each word. "When…wh…when did…"

Nagi quickly stepped in front of Emi and took the reigns. "What my friend here is trying to ask is when did this start?" When the woman didn't answer right away, Nagi elaborated. "As in, at what point did Kousei start coming to your bakery regularly?"

The woman frowned pensively. "Well…after our daughter passed away—he was very close to her, you see—he stopped coming. He gave us his condolences after the funeral, of course, but never really did he ever visit. Then, at some point last year, he started coming by again. I guess he recalled we existed. Anyhow, he must've gotten hooked on our bread, because he buys it every week."

"I see," Nagi said. She glanced at Emi, who was still processing everything. "Anything else you want to ask?"

Emi didn't know. If all of this was true, then Kousei was undeniably cursed; cursed by the ghost of his first love such that he'd never forget her. He'd drown like this, if no one saved him. Right now, Emi was the person Kousei was closest to, and vice versa. She couldn't let him succumb. She had to save him, if what Kaori's mother was saying was veritable. "Wait…" A sudden thought occurred to her. "This doesn't necessarily mean Kousei is trapped by her memory. He might just be doing this as a good deed, to help out her family." A spark of hope lit up in Emi.

The woman cocked her head confusedly. "I'm sorry dear, but I'm not sure what you're talking about."

Nagi interceded for Emi. "Ma'am, I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable to talk about, but we need to discuss your deceased daughter."

The woman frowned confusedly.

Nagi elaborated. "You see, both Emi and I are worried about Kousei's wellbeing right now. He looks alright at a glance, but we're worried he's still haunted by Kaori, so to speak. We're worried he's always thinking about her. You can understand how that might be unhealthy, to dwell on the dead. Just…if there's any helpful information you can give us so that we can help him, we would appreciate it."

The woman looked taken aback. "R-Really? I had no idea…my daughter…was causing so much grief beyond my husband and me. I feel horrible…" After taking a moment to collect her thoughts, the woman straightened. "Yes, of course. I'll tell you what I know. Well…he did ask me to keep it secret, but…if he's truly suffering because of my daughter, then I'm fine with telling you."

"What is it?" Emi asked, not certain she wanted to know.

The woman sighed sadly. "You see, most days after Kousei visits our bakery, he takes a trip to the cemetery to…well…to visit Kaori's grave. I've gone with him a few times, on days when I'm feeling particularly sentimental, and, well…most times he goes, he'll just talk to her. About anything. About his life, about his friends. And then…well, he usually ends it by telling her he wishes she was still around. And, uh…he does his best to hide it from me, but he often begins crying. I didn't think much of it as I don't see it happen all that often, but hearing this…it makes complete sense."

Emi stepped back. The full weight of the recount felt like an avalanche threatening to bury her. Then it was official. Kousei wasn't just thinking about Kaori. He was well beyond that. Undoubtedly every waking moment was spent with her in mind. Emi didn't know how he felt, or how it felt to love someone so much that you couldn't let them go even years after their death, but she did know that she cared about Kousei. She didn't want to stop him from loving her, and she honestly didn't expect he ever would, but…to be living like this all the time…Emi couldn't imagine what it was like for him. She had to help him. Somehow, she had to free him from Kaori's memory.

"Uh…thank you, ma'am." Nagi said, eyeing Emi's worried expression. "We'll be going now."

With that, Nagi pulled Emi out of the bakery, trading the enticing smells of freshly baked goods for the crisp winter air outside. Not even bothering to look left or right, Nagi crossed the street with Emi in tow, the latter still trying to process everything. With a swift shove, Nagi forced Emi into the driver's seat, taking the passenger's seat beside it after she'd done so.

Nagi slammed the door shut behind her, and looked concernedly at Emi in the sudden silence that enveloped them. "Are you alright?"

Emi sighed. "What do I do, Nagi? I can't stand to see him live like this any longer. I have to help him somehow! But…I don't know how." Emi paused. "I don't want to stop him from loving Kaori. But…I don't want him to stop living, either. He seems so far gone…how can I fix this for him?"

Nagi frowned. "You might not be able to, honestly. Kousei seems to really love Kaori. It's possible that love will persist until the end of his days, never fading. But it's not a certainty. We can still do something, or at least try. You and I both care deeply about Kousei. So I promise you, for as much as you want to help him, I am right by your side. Because trust me; I don't want to see Kousei live out his life full of regret any more than you do. So take comfort in the fact that I'm here for you." Nagi smiled at Emi.

Emi returned it, though with a hint of sadness. "Thanks, Nagi." She paused, frowning at her lap. "What should we do? Now that we know he's so focused on Kaori…how can we get him out of that rut?"

Nagi sat back in her seat, placing her arms behind her head. "Well, I think my earlier advice still stands. He's in love with Kaori. And the best way to make someone fall _out_ of love is to get them to fall _in_ love with someone else."

"You sure you don't want to give that a shot?" Emi asked, knowing how much Nagi loved Kousei.

"Believe me, I've been trying for most if the time I've known him," Nagi said dismissively. "You know, you could volunteer, Emi. You've been single for ages. If you leave it like this you'll end up a lonely old spinstress, you know?"

Emi blushed. "Hey! I just haven't been interested in dating, alright?"

Nagi acted like she hadn't heard her. "I mean, you're even living in the same apartment with him. I can imagine some pretty racey things you two could do once you were dating."

Emi rolled her eyes. "Ha, ha. Listen, this isn't about what I want, or what you want. It's about Kousei's happiness. We have to set him up with a girl that'll make him happy."

"And who might that be?" Nagi countered.

Emi frowned. She frankly didn't know. Kousei's inner thoughts had become so tightly locked away ever since Kaori's death that she never knew what he was really thinking any more. She thereby had no clue what his type was. Did he like perky, energetic girls? Or was he more into passionate, yet kind girls? She supposed all she really had to work off of was Kaori.

"I guess…" Emi began, "I guess we'd better use Kaori as a model, huh?"

Nagi immediately shook her head. "Nope. The point is that we're moving on from Kaori. If he goes out with someone who's just like Kaori, he'll just be reminded of her all the time. What we need is to choose someone who's different. Someone who cares, but is also different."

Emi nodded. A silence passed over the two of them.

"You know," Nagi said sadly, "there is a chance this won't work at all. We could throw a hundred girls at him and he might never feel any different. It's a sad thing to think about, but it's a valid possibility." Nagi looked seriously into Emi's eyes. "I've long since prepared my heart for breaking. The question is; are you going to be prepared in case he never moves on?"

Emi couldn't meet Nagi's gaze. She wasn't sure she knew the answer to that question. Or if she wanted to know.

.

By the time Emi had dropped Nagi off back at her dorm, Kousei was undoubtedly back at the apartment. As Emi headed back, she kept going over what she wanted to do once she saw him again. Did she want to talk to him about it? Confront him? Hmm…no, that wouldn't remedy the situation. If Emi was accusatory with Kousei, there was a chance he'd react negatively and not listen to a word of Emi's advice. If Emi was to help Kousei move on from Kaori, she needed to do it discreetly. Recalling her first conversation on the topic with Nagi, Emi's mind travelled to dating sites. Sure, they weren't always the best option when it came to finding a serious relationship, but it could work. Besides, it wasn't like Emi had any better ideas.

Finally having come to a decision, Emi arrived at her apartment, turning off the car and locking it before she headed for her door, searching for the keys in her pocket as she did. Unlocking the door, she stepped inside, and found Kousei within, playing the piano of course. As she entered, he stopped, and glanced over his shoulder at her.

"Oh, you're back!" He remarked. "How'd the errands go?"

"Oh, they were fine," Emi replied quickly. Now knowing the definite truth to Kousei's internal issue, Emi found it hard to look him in the eyes, especially considering she was pretending she had no clue. Heading to the kitchen to grab a snack, Emi tried to make casual conversation to cover up her perturbed state of mind, selecting the first thing that entered her brain. "Say, do you have nice casual clothes for Tsubaki's party on Friday? I have a dress, but if you've got nothing, then we have problem." Good, good. She wasn't stumbling over her words.

"I can just use my tuxedo that I wore for Nagi's recital," Kousei replied, lowering the volume on the electric piano and continuing to play a rather simple piece without missing a beat.

"You mean the tux that you _rented_?" Emi deadpanned.

"I-I can rent it again!" Kousei stuttered.

Emi shook her head firmly. "Nope. This'll be a casual party, not some formal event. We're welcoming your friend home, not attending a banquet. She's not going to want everyone to get dressed up for something like this. Your tux is going to be too much. You need nice-looking, casual, yet dressy clothes. You got anything like that?"

Kousei frowned in thought, ostensibly going over each article of clothing that he owned, his piano playing pausing while he did. "Uh…maybe?"

"I'm going to take that as a no," Emi sighed. "Honestly, Kousei, what would you do without me?"

Kousei chuckled sheepishly. "Sorry, Igawa. I guess I'm not the most fashion savvy person."

Emi laughed. "You can say that again. I guess we'll have to go out shopping one more time, then, huh?"

"Yeah," Kousei nodded. "Tsubaki probably would scold me if I looked to formal, or if I looked far too shabby."

A sudden thought occurred to Emi, something she'd never considered before. It made sense, given that the people on the other side of Kousei's life were never really well acquainted with Emi, and vice versa. Why would she have thought of it? But if it worked…Kousei's problem could be solved.

"Hey, Kousei," Emi began, trying to sound casual, "about Tsubaki…were you and her ever a couple?"

Kousei's fingers suddenly fumbled as he flinched at the question. "Wh-What? Where did that come from?"

Emi shrugged, trying to maintain a casual, nonchalant expression. "I was just curious. I don't know much about your high school life or your friends from that time."

Kousei sighed. "No, she and I were never a couple." He glanced to the side nervously, seeming to hesitate as a thought came to his mind. "But…well…I'm not sure I should say that, actually…"

Emi was instantly curious. Leaning against the island, she grinned at Kousei. "Ooh, a secret! Now I have to know. Go on!"

"Well…don't tell Tsubaki I told you this, but she…kind of had a crush on me."

Emi's eyes widened. "What?! No way!" She paused. "But you never went out."

Kousei shook his head. "I never felt the same way about her. She was always just my childhood friend. I think…I think she'd had feelings for me ever since high school, but I never realized until she confessed to me a few months after we graduated. She said she'd moved on from me at that point, but…I'm not sure she did. After she confessed, I told her I still wanted to be friends with her, and she responded by saying she'd never leave my side."

"But…she went to America," Emi said melancholically.

Kousei nodded. "I'm sure she meant what she'd said at the time, but life moved on. She moved forward, and had the opportunity to study abroad. Who wouldn't take it? I was just a piano teacher, not even making enough money to pay for my own place."

"You're still like that," Emi remarked with a chuckle.

"Yeah," Kousei smiled sadly. "I told her she shouldn't waste her life on me. She protested of course, but I guess she realized it would be best for her to leave."

"You…you pushed her away?" Emi asked.

Kousei nodded again. "I was only a shackle for her. It was better for both of us." Kousei suddenly inhaled deeply and breathed it back out, stretching back in his chair. "Anyways…I'm not sure if she still has feelings for me, but I doubt we'll ever get together. Especially because of all the time we've missed from each others' lives. I'm just hoping we'll be able to act like friends when we see her Friday."

Emi regarded Kousei sadly. Was his relationship with Tsubaki really that bad? She'd thought that maybe there was hope for a romance between the two of them, but at this rate she expected them to be even more distant than Kousei seemed to be right then. Did Kousei do this to all of his potential love interests? Push them away so nothing would happen between them? Were his affections for Kaori really that strong? Would he ever find someone he might want to be with?

Emi frowned, and decided she needed to clear her mind. All this fretting over Kousei wasn't good for her health. Stepping around the island, Emi strode over to Kousei, whose fingers had been completely removed from the keyboard.

"Scoot," she ordered. "I want to play."

"Wh—really?" Kousei gaped, his dropped jaw quickly forming into an eager grin. "That's great! You never want to play!"

"Not _never_ ," Emi scolded. "I play on occasion. Sometimes even _I_ like to revisit the past." The accidental hidden meaning behind those words caused Emi to frown as she took Kousei's place on the folding chair.

"I know, I know," Kousei said, "it's just weird to hear you play."

As Emi let her fingers hover above the piano keys, she shot Kousei a glare. "No criticisms, okay? I know it's been a long time. I'm out of practice."

"Honestly, I'm still just surprised you want to." Kousei replied.

Emi breathed in and out deeply, preparing herself. Even if it was just Kousei, she didn't want to mess up. She had been a professional in her youth, after all. Hopefully her muscles would remember well enough. Picking a song from what remained of her repertoire, Emi began. Her fingers were quick and graceful, agilely darting about the keys. Clearly she still retained most of her skill, though she messed up in plenty of places she knew she wouldn't have seven years ago. Still, all things considered, she was pretty impressed by her own performances, and based off of his eager applause after she'd finished, Emi figured Kousei felt similarly.

"Whoa, Igawa!" He gushed. "That was incredible!"

"I don't need your compliments, 'master of the piano'," Emi retorted, though couldn't help but stifle a smile at his genuine appreciation. She _had_ done pretty well, hadn't she?

"So…" Kousei changed the subject now that Emi had gotten back up, staring into the mirror that hung on the wall with a dissatisfied frown on his face, "what did you mean by 'nice-looking, casual, yet dressy clothes'?"

Emi sighed. "Don't worry about it; I'll find you something nice. We don't want you looking like a mess for Tsubaki, now, do we? Once I'm done, she'll be smitten with you all over again!"

Kousei blinked. "I-Igawa! I told you, she and I were never a couple! I'm not looking to make her…uh…smitten with me or anything!"

"Now, now," Emi admonished teasingly, "how're you two supposed to get together with an attitude like that?"

As Kousei continued to protest against Emi's suggestive support, she giggled to hide her worry. There was a reason she was hinting at a romance between the two, after all. If Tsubaki had actually had feelings for Kousei before, maybe they still lingered. And even if they didn't, perhaps they could be rekindled. Who knew? Maybe Kousei would even give her a shot. Anything to get his mind off Kaori. It wasn't that Emi wanted Kousei to forget about Kaori entirely…just for him to move on from her. Maybe Tsubaki would be the antidote to the poison on Kousei's life.

Maybe…just maybe…but only if Kousei was willing to let her in…only if he decided to move on from the ghost and let someone else in…only if he was willing to let her go.

Could he do it?

No…a better question was:

 _Would_ he do it?

.

 **Hey, everyone. Here's Chapter 2. I hope you like it.**

 **Sorry I took longer to post for this one. I have no excuse, just that I wanted to give myself more breaks. But here it is.**

 **I do have an idea of what I want to do for the coming future of this fic, but if any of you have ideas, feel free to leave a comment.**

 **Anyway, until next time!**


	3. Chapter 3: Mending Hearts

It was raining by the time she was finally allowed off the plane. The skies were dark, of course; at this time of night it was to be expected, but still, the steady trickle of rain seemed to darken the outside world just a little bit more. Tsubaki Sawabe sighed as she watched the droplets of water fall past her window, wetting the ground below. It wasn't really a sigh of discontent at the gloomy weather; on the contrary, the light rainfall gave Tsubaki a sense of peace. Gazing past the haze of water, her eyes fell upon the distant city. Her home. It had been so long at this point, Tsubaki had almost forgotten what it was like here. But her studies in America were over. Time to come home.

It took a bit for the passengers around her to remove all their luggage from the overhead bins, and as Tsubaki was sitting all the way at the window seat, she just decided to let everyone else finish before she bothered trying to leave. Eventually, the aisle cleared enough that she could easily move, and so Tsubaki removed her luggage and exited the plane. After heading through the necessary stops one always had to endure at airports, Tsubaki was finally released. Waiting with her luggage near the exit, she impatiently checked her phone.

Hmm…Watari was supposed to have been here already. Perhaps the weather was keeping him? No…the rain wasn't _that_ bad. Then again, Watari wasn't the best of drivers, either. Sighing, Tsubaki occupied herself by watching the rain as she rested on a bench. It was so peaceful…she couldn't help but feel at ease watching its gentle display.

As she gazed through the window, her thoughts turned to her old life. She'd be returning to it, now. Her studies were all done. What had it been like, again? Tsubaki struggled to remember. There was Watari, of course…he'd stuck around since high school, remaining a close friend of hers. She still couldn't believe he'd gone through the trouble of hosting a party in her honour. Well, but he certainly had the money…if he wanted to, she wasn't going to object. Then there was Nagi. They'd become friends, sort of. Nagi was cheerful; Tsubaki, personally, couldn't wait to see her again. Emi…was a bit more distant, to say the least. They'd talked before, of course, but not at length, and not very frequently. Still, she hoped to try and get to know her better.

And then there was…him…

…Kousei Arima…

…No. She wasn't going to think about him. He was a part of her old life. A part of her childish, immature, and forgotten high school life. She'd still talk with him at the party, of course, but…no, things weren't going to just turn back to the way the were. Hopefully he'd be just as distant as he was when she'd left. At least then it would be easier for her.

Tsubaki's phone suddenly buzzed in her pocket. Pulling it out, she read a text from Watari. He had just pulled up outside. Putting her phone away and preparing herself for the rain, Tsubaki headed out the nearest exit and searched for Watari's car, shielding her head all the while. Squinting through the rain, she hoped his car was still the same one it had been before she'd left—luckily, she quickly identified the old jalopy and the natural grin of the young man sitting inside of it. Hurrying over, she pulled her luggage over to the trunk as Watari got out to help her.

"Need a hand?" He asked, running his hands through his tussled hair. Tsubaki couldn't help but stare at his toned physique; life as a soccer player certainly didn't hurt in the looks department. At last tearing her eyes away from him, Tsubaki shook her head, and loaded the suitcase into the trunk herself.

"Nice to see you too, Watari." Tsubaki greeted, heaving the stiff door of the trunk closed. "You been doing well?"

"Not too bad, I guess." He replied with a grin as the two rounded the car to the front seats. As Watari got behind the wheel, Tsubaki plopped down onto the passenger's seat. "I still wish you could've been there for the wedding. Well, at least you'll get to see my wife now."

"I _have_ already met her, you know." Tsubaki replied as Watari began to drive off.

"Yeah, but now you get to meet her as my wife!" Watari said cheekily. As they headed out of the airport, he gave her a glance. "You alright? You seem a bit…down."

"I'm fine," Tsubaki said, not meeting his gaze. "It's just…well, it's been so long since I've lived here. Will it really be the same? Plus, I've kind of let all my relationships here fall apart. Everyone'll greet me, but no one will really know me…not anymore."

Watari turned on the windshield wipers. "Well…that just means you get to make new friendships, right? And you can restart with everyone else you knew." He paused, giving her a comforting smile. "And, if all else fails, at least you'll have me, right?"

Tsubaki frowned, before giving a small chuckle. "You're gonna make your wife jealous by saying things like that, young man."

Watari merely received Tsubaki's light punch on his arm with his ever present grin. The rain began to fall harder, further enhancing Tsubaki's gloomy thoughts. The peaceful atmosphere they'd brought was no longer present. At last, Watari spoke, his caring eyes narrowed on Tsubaki's hunched form. "…It's about Kousei, isn't it?"

She didn't answer. Her cheeks propped up against her hand, she simply stared at the distant, blurry city. Of course…of course it was about him. It always came back to him. Tsubaki was definitely looking forward to coming back; there were so many things she loved about this place that she had been long since missing. But among the many, many things she was also afraid of in coming here, she couldn't deny what topped them all—him. It was always him.

Stretching back in her seat, Tsubaki decided to push away those depressing thoughts for now. "So, Watari…tell me, what's everyone been up to while I've been gone? Besides what you've already told me during our calls, I mean."

He frowned in thought as they came to an intersection. "Hmm…oh, you know, there was always one thing I always forgot to tell you that I really should have whenever we were talking on the phone. When it happened, I'd kind of just bought my house, so that sort of eclipsed it. And then it just became a natural part of life, so I never thought to say it."

Tsubaki frowned. "Well, spit it out already!"

"Kousei and Emi are living together." He said at last.

Tsubaki blinked. Huh? "Wait, what?!" She exclaimed. Kousei and Emi…living together? Was Emi really doing that poorly that she needed to rely on Kousei of all people for a place to stay?

"Yeah…Kousei's job as a teacher wasn't paying very well, and when Emi got a job at this big corporation, he ended up asking to stay with her." Watari's eyes narrowed as he thought further. "I think she's not even making him pay rent, actually."

Tsubaki gaped at Watari's explanation. Kousei…staying with Emi? The concept boggled her. Sure, she knew Kousei's job as a teacher wasn't a very well-paying one, but she'd always assumed he'd eventually realize his talents were beyond that and return back to the spotlight. It seemed what he'd told her about his thoughts on his position as a teacher were was true; he really did just like teaching others. And Emi…she'd quit playing? Perhaps she just didn't like it as much as Kousei, though…Tsubaki wouldn't know.

Watari went on. "Besides that…oh, yeah. I told you already that Nagi's continuing in Kousei's footsteps, right? Well, she's actually been doing really well, winning all sorts of competitions and such. I even managed to find time to see one once…it was breathtaking. She's getting really good."

Tsubaki couldn't help but smile. Nagi had been nice to talk to, even if it wasn't very much. She was glad the blonde was succeeding in life.

"What else?" Watari frowned. "Hmm…no, I think that's it, really." He paused, and glanced at Tsubaki. "You sure you're alright? You seem a bit…down."

Tsubaki waved a dismissive hand at Watari, though kept her eyes out the window. "I'm fine, I'm fine. Stop worrying about me, already."

Watari shrugged, and so they continued in silence. He must have sensed the prickly aura Tsubaki was giving off, which she was grateful for. It wasn't that she disliked talking to Watari, it was just that she didn't feel like talking any more. The news about Kousei's living situation still lingered in Tsubaki's brain as she felt her eyebrows furrow at the thought. Agh, that incompetent! He managed to manipulate one if his friends into letting him mooch off of her…despicable! Tsubaki could hardly believe she'd ever fallen in love with him.

And yet…she _had_ fallen in love with him. Without even meaning to, in fact. And didn't that make it something…more? True love, after all, wasn't something that came when you tried to find it. You happened upon it. At least, that's what Tsubaki had discovered. She had loved Kousei, but he'd pushed her away. Said goodbye.

As though their relationship never even meant anything.

Tsubaki felt her fists curl into balls in her pockets. She was angry…why was she angry? She respected his decision. He didn't feel the same way, so he let her leave. But…something still felt off. Tsubaki had tried to move on, to let go, and she thought she had, but even now, at the prospect of seeing him again…Tsubaki's own fickle heart betrayed her and beat faster as she thought more and more about him.

Was she still in love with Kousei?

…

…It didn't matter. Regardless of any feelings her heart might harbour, Tsubaki would never let them control her. She would never again let Kousei steal her heart.

Because then it couldn't be broken.

.

"There. See? You look fantastic." Emi said encouragingly, patting Kousei's shoulders as she grinned cheekily at his reflection in the mirror.

Kousei himself merely looked uncertain, returning her smile with less enthusiasm. "Uh…are you sure, Igawa? I feel a bit…funny." He picked at his sleeve nervously.

"Yeah, puberty'll do that to you." Emi teased with a wink. "Now, I have to go get changed, so stay right there and try to act like you belong in that. Which you do, by the way!" She added as she headed down the hall to her room.

Once inside, Emi pulled off her sweater and jeans. Taking her more casual dress from the closet, she lay it flat on the bed and examined it. Hmm…would it do, for this type of party? Meh, whatever. Tsubaki had never seemed like the person to care, and frankly, neither did Emi. Pulling on the dress, she gave it a little twirl, indulging herself one moment of girlish behaviour before she added a small coat to the ensemble and headed back out. Kousei was, of course, still standing at the mirror and fidgeting uncomfortably as he gazed at his reflection.

Realizing he hadn't yet noticed her behind him, Emi took the opportunity to scrutinize his outfit. He wore a white Polo shirt, which made him look particularly handsome, in Emi's opinion, as well as some casually fitting jeans—not too tight, but also not terribly baggy, either. His hair had been slightly gelled; this had been Emi's idea. Overall, Emi couldn't help but describe Kousei as dashing.

"We'll go in about fifteen," Emi said, at last breaking the silence and causing Kousei to flinch. "I've got to do my hair and put some makeup on."

Kousei nodded, and Emi again turned her back on him to this time head to the bathroom. Inside, she meticulously brushed, straightened and perfected her hair to make it look beautiful, before adding and extra clip to it for a splash of colour. Her hair now finished, Emi applied her makeup carefully. As she did, she briefly wondered whether Kousei knew how to apply makeup; the thought of his face forced into femininity entered Emi's mind and made her chuckle. She'd have to ask later if he'd be okay with letting her experiment on his face.

Finally finished, Emi returned, and saw that Kousei was already waiting at the door, his winter coat already on. Feeling bad with how long she'd taken, Emi quickly shut off all the lights, put on her winter coat and headed out the door. After locking up, the two crossed the small, snowy distance to Emi's car, grateful for the warmth it would eventually provide once it was fully warmed up. With that, they headed for Watari's place.

It had been ages since Emi had visited the grandiose home of Kousei's high school friend, and as such she barely remembered the way. Unfortunately, Kousei himself barely visited either; mostly the two men interacted via phone conversations these days. Luckily, Kousei had gotten the address from Watari earlier that day, and with the help of their GPS system and a bit of intuition, they eventually located the house.

Well, 'house' was a bit of a modest term.

"Man, was it always this big?" Emi grumbled, glaring up at the large and expensive-looking mansion that stood before them. She recalled it from previous visits, but the size still astounded her. Clearly, being a professional soccer player had its perks. Well, at least it'd make for a good party. Watari certainly wouldn't hold back if it was for Tsubaki.

Pulling up to the spacious driveway, Emi got out along with Kousei and locked it before heading up the pristine steps to the front door. A ring of the doorbell and a few seconds of waiting was all it took before a woman Emi just barely recognized opened the door for them.

"Oh, welcome!" She said, opening the door wider for them to enter. As Emi and Kousei looked around, the woman turned and yelled into the expensive house. "Ryouta! More guests!" The woman then turned back to Emi and Kousei while the sounds of hurried steps echoed. "Just make yourselves at home. There are some refreshments and snacks over there. Ryouta will make a toast in a few minutes, so enjoy yourselves until then."

Emi nodded, and made for the tempting snacks, but was interrupted by Watari hastily running into the room, his socks causing him to slip and slide on the linoleum floor. Finally regaining hid footing, he rushed over to them. "Igawa! Kousei! You made it! Uh, welcome!" He greeted, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.

Kousei grinned. "It was no trouble. I'd never miss a party if it's for Tsubaki."

While the two men exchanged words, Emi took it as an opportunity to examine Watari in full. Damn, he had a great body. Muscular, but not overwhelmingly so. Even his hair and grin made him look positively stunning. If he wasn't already married, Emi would have considered flirting a bit with him.

"How's it going, Emi?" Watari now said, addressing her. It took her somewhat by surprise given that she'd expected the two friends to have wanted to talk more, but she supposed that not having spoken much with Watari was equal reason to do so now.

"Not bad." She finally replied. "Man, I guess I forgot how rich you are. Why can't you lend me some money sometime, eh?"

Watari merely laughed the comment away. "I'd love to stay and chat, but we'll have the chance to do that later on tonight. For now, I have to check on the reason this party's being held." With that, Watari dashed off back into the hallway he appeared from.

Now alone with Kousei, Emi glanced around the mansion, trying to ignore its vast size. Her eyes soon fell on the snacks table, and her stomach rumbled. Before she could divert her attention completely to food, however, none other than Nagi and Takeshi Aiza appeared in front of them. Nagi's expression was of nonchalant contentment, while Takeshi had a sour look on his face. His eyes bore straight into Kousei. Ah, yes. The ever present rivalry.

"Hey, Kousei! Hey, Emi!" Nagi greeted. "How're you two doing?"

"Not bad." Emi replied. She decided she'd speak instead of Kousei; much from his mouth would send Takeshi into a flying rage. "Honestly, I'm surprised you came, Takeshi. You barely even know Tsubaki."

"I didn't come here for her." Takeshi replied in a serious voice. "I came here to protect my little sister."

Emi grinned. "Siscon."

Takeshi instantly began to blush as his anger rose. "There's nothing wrong with wanting to keep my sister safe from…from…from him!" The blond pointed an angry finger at Kousei, who didn't seem sure of how to respond.

As the tall man reddened furiously, Emi couldn't help but burst into laughter. Her provoking had resulted in the perfect reaction from Takeshi; it might have been unwise to get him riled up, but it certainly wasn't boring.

Eventually, Emi decided to change the subject. "Anyways…I haven't seen you in forever, Takeshi. I heard you're doing pretty well as a professional pianist. Setting a good example for little Nagi?"

Takeshi seemed to be calming down. "I hardly need to. Honestly, she's almost surpassed me in ability, and she's still in college." Pride for his sister gleamed in Takeshi's eyes. Emi resisted another snicker.

"Well, she had a good teacher." Emi said, taking a risk by bringing him up and patting Kousei on the back. The dark-haired man fidgeted under his newfound attention, clearly uncomfortable under Takeshi's scornful gaze.

Nagi grinned before Takeshi could retort. "Yeah! Kousei's been a great teacher! Sometimes, when I'm visiting, he'll think of some tip or technique to show me. It's always a blast around him!" With the exaggeration, Nagi wrapped her gleeful arms around Kousei, much to Takeshi's dismay. He quickly tore the two apart.

"No, no, no, no…I won't have you two getting all clingy while I'm here." Takeshi shot Kousei a death glare as he kept a frustrated Nagi from reaching her love. His eyes then moved from Kousei to Emi, changing from hate to curiosity. "Say…Emi, why are you here? If I'm not mistaken, you've had about as much experience with Tsubaki as I have."

Emi shrugged. "Gotta keep this one from messing up too badly, you know?" She jutted a thumb towards Kousei.

Takeshi frowned at her in obvious suspicion. It looked as though he was about to say something, before—

"Alright, everyone! Gather round!" Watari's loud voice called them all over. As they shuffled their way to the back side of the room, Watari threw a hand gesturing towards a hallway off to his left. "It's been a long few years, full of studying, perseverance, and hardship. She's kept trucking on through it all, and our prayers have gone out to her from day one. Now, they've paid off. Everyone, please welcome…Tsubaki Sawabe!"

The applause of about six people echoed in the spacious room as Tsubaki came into view. Emi couldn't help but marvel. She was beautiful, undeniably so. Her years away had either made Emi forget this fact or else had kept the blossoming girl from their view. But now…in a gorgeous blue dress, with her hair done up…she looked stunning. Emi threw a glance at the three men of the room; all of them stared despite themselves. And who wouldn't?

By the end of the gawking, Tsubaki decided to give a speech of her own.

"Thank you, Watari." She said. Even her voice was alluring. "Yeah, I'm back. It's sort of strange, you know? I've lived in this city for much longer than I've lived in America, but somehow it feels like here is the foreign land and there is home. All the same, I'm glad to be back. I can't wait to catch up with you all, even the few of you who I'm not terribly good acquaintances with—making new friends is never a bad thing, after all!" Tsubaki looked hesitantly to the side. "Uh…I'm not sure what else to say, so…mingle, I guess? You'll all get to talk to me individually that way."

Kousei chuckled at the uncertainty in Tsubaki's voice as the small number of guests dispersed. The endearing act seemed to have caught Tsubaki's eye, Emi noticed, as she saw the brunette staring at Kousei. Hmm…Emi had indeed been planning to use this party to initiate feelings between Kousei and Tsubaki…might the brunette still retain her old crush?

However, even despite the attention Tsubaki had been giving Kousei from afar, in contradiction she headed off towards the snack table, seemingly to chat with Watari's wife. Emi frowned. Was this just her being shy, or did she actually not have feelings for Kousei? Suddenly, Emi found herself wishing she'd spent enough time with the brunette to know about that sort of thing.

Suddenly, Nagi wedged her way in between Emi and Kousei. "So, what are you thinking about?" Nagi grinned nastily at Emi. Emi gulped.

"Uh, just how much Tsubaki has changed, I guess." Kousei replied.

Nagi looked longingly at Kousei for a brief second before she shoved him away. "Sorry, Kousei, but the ladies are talking now. Why don't you go socialize with Watari?"

Kousei looked unsure, but let up and walked dejectedly in the direction of the toned Watari.

Emi sighed, now free of Kousei. "What do you want now, Nagi?"

"Want?" She grinned slyly. "Me? Oh, I don't want anything…except maybe to know why you were staring at Tsubaki for a solid twenty seconds." Nagi threw a glance over her shoulder at the brunette, who was chatting with Watari's wife. "Let me guess…you're planning on matchmaking Kousei and Tsubaki together, aren't you?"

Emi paled. She'd figured it out instantly! "Uh…yeah…" Emi sighed. "Damn, how do you figure these things out so easily?"

"It's simple," Nagi said, striking a casual pose leaning against the wall. "After that info and the talk we had, you were sure to want to hook him up with someone. And who better than a girl from his high school years come back from America? They do say absence makes the heart grow stronger, after all."

Emi frowned. "So…are you going to help me?"

Nagi paused. "Hmm…well, I don't know if that's a good idea. I _do_ still have a crush on him, you know. Why would I help my competition?" The blonde's casual smile was then dampened a tad. "Besides, I don't think this is necessarily what Kousei needs right now."

Emi's eyes narrowed. "You disagree with me?"

Nagi paused, then shook her head. "I want what's best for Kousei, first and foremost. Getting over her is the main issue, and giving him a new romance is likely the best solution. But…Tsubaki is his childhood friend. Being pushed into a relationship with her might not go so well, you know?"

Emi couldn't respond. She couldn't deny that what Nagi was saying was hard to ignore. The relationship between Kousei and Tsubaki was ambiguous to say the least. It would indeed be difficult. But…she was determined to at least give it a shot, with her best effort. Otherwise, how could she call herself Kousei's friend? Unfortunately, it was looking like Tsubaki wasn't being very nice towards Kousei…in fact, was she avoiding him? Hmm…would a romance between the two of them even be feasible?

Well, only one way to find out. Breathing in deeply and strengthening her resolve, Emi headed to the snack table to talk to Tsubaki.

.

Tsubaki's brow furrowed as Watari's wife left and seemed to be in the process of being replaced by the dark-haired woman Tsubaki had seen coming in with Kousei. Emi, wasn't it? Tsubaki barely remembered. It had been so long since she'd seen anyone from her old life, let alone anyone from Kousei's band of pianist friends. So…this was the woman Kousei was living with? Tsubaki couldn't help but begin to imagine what sorts of risqué activities the two of them could get up to all by themselves…no, no, no! Tsubaki adamantly shook those thoughts from her head. Even if they were doing such things, she didn't care. Kousei could do what he wanted. Right now, Tsubaki had to make a good impression.

"Hey," Emi said, stopping casually in front of Tsubaki before extending her hand towards her. "Emi Igawa. Nice to meet you. Again."

Tsubaki shook her outstretched hand. "Yeah, it's been a while, hasn't it? I can barely believe I'm back."

Emi nodded, pouring herself a glass of wine from the items on the snack table and sipping it. "Must have felt weird, coming back here after so long. Hope you didn't get any jet lag."

As she shook her head in response, Tsubaki couldn't help but internally marvel at the casual manner in which Emi conducted herself. She was just so…cool! Cool, and confident! She seemed like the polar opposite of Tsubaki, who often barely knew what to wear each morning. Even her dress was gorgeous. Not too pompous, but still accentuating the curves. Despite herself, Tsubaki could see why Kousei had asked to live with Emi instead of Watari.

"You and Kousei sure seem close," Tsubaki noted, returning from her thoughts to the real world.

Emi seemed to a frown a bit at this comment, but quickly reapplied her cool, calm and casual smile. "That old lug? I guess you could say that. He'd barely function without me." Emi's eyes then widened as a thought seemed to occur to her. "Oh, but don't think he and I are romantically entangled or anything. I've made sure to keep him available for you. Now that you're back, he's all yours."

The comment irked Tsubaki, and she couldn't help but scowl. Kousei and her…there was nothing left of their old relationship. He'd certainly made sure of that when Tsubaki told him she'd be going to America. Did this Emi woman seriously think she and him would ever…no, stay calm.

"Oh, no, you're mistaken." Tsubaki replied, laying on the politeness. "I don't have any romantic interest in Kousei."

Emi's brow rose. "No? None at all?"

Tsubaki shook her head, somewhat irritated. "None. In fact, I…" Well, she should probably leave that part out. It wasn't like Tsubaki wanted Emi to know of her plans to ignore Kousei.

The dark-haired woman frowned at Tsubaki, but didn't comment on her discontinuation of her sentence. After downing the last of her wine, Emi promptly refilled her glass. "But," she began, "I'm sure you're happy to see him again, right? It's been ages."

Tsubaki stifled a frown. Why was this girl so intent on finding out their relationship? Tsubaki was sure Kousei would be plenty willing to divulge everything about her…why didn't she just ask him? "Uh…I guess. He and I aren't really that…friendly anymore, though."

Emi seemed concerned by that statement. She opened her mouth to say something else, but was interrupted.

Kousei himself had walked up to the two of them. Tsubaki visibly tensed at his entrance. Damn! Why'd he have to show himself now? Emi was already super curious about their relationship as it was, and now Kousei had to show up? No doubt the dark-haired woman would be using this as an opportunity to analyze how Tsubaki acted. Sneaking a glance at her, it was confirmed. Emi's eyes discreetly darted from Tsubaki to Kousei and back again, scrutinizing their interactions.

"Hey, Tsubaki." Kousei greeted politely. His typical friendly smile was in full force today.

Tsubaki felt her muscles clench. Damn it…how could he just act so nice to her? Had he completely forgotten what he'd said to her? What he'd done to her? Now it was like he was going straight back to the way things had been before she left—back when they were still high schoolers. How could Tsubaki respond to this? With a false smile plastered on? That would be simplest…but it would also be wrong. She didn't want to just roll over for him. She didn't want _anything_ to do with him.

"How've you been? Was America nice?" Kousei said, still retaining his light smile. "I hear the weather there is really beautiful. Say, did you get the chance to take any pictures? You should show me sometime."

Tsubaki couldn't reply. Anger and frustration coursed through her as her eyes refused to tear themselves away from Kousei's expression. It had a certain…falseness to it. It reminded her of the smile he'd used on that day…the day before she'd left. Fake…just trying to hide the pain inside. Rgh…why had he said those things? Why had he done that?

"Uh…Tsubaki?" Kousei said uncertainly.

Tsubaki realized she hadn't been saying anything. Trying to contain her anger, she walked away. "Sorry; I'm not feeling so well. It was nice seeing you."

And with that, Tsubaki tried to think of someplace she could go to hide the tears.

.

"I'm going to go see if she's alright." Kousei said, seeming almost valiant. He then followed Tsubaki concernedly, leaving Emi alone.

For all of five seconds.

"That didn't go too well, did it?" Nagi said, her usual snarky attitude slurred by alcohol.

Emi shot the blonde a glare. "Drunk already?"

Nagi rolled her eyes. "Oh, c'mon. That's when all the fun happens, right?" The two stood for a moment before Nagi sighed and leaned back against the table. "I guess she completely lost her crush on him, then. Seems your plan didn't exactly work."

"No need to rub it in," Emi groaned. "I wish I knew why. Distance wouldn't have been what killed their relationship…would it?"

Nagi shrugged. "I think it's a bit more than that."

"She seemed pretty upset, though I don't think she meant to." Emi remarked.

"Well, there you have it," Nagi said. Emi raised an eyebrow, prompting Nagi to elaborate. "You're absolutely right; distance wouldn't have been enough to get her to react like that upon talking to him. So clearly there's something deeper here. Something happened at some point." Nagi hiccupped. "Or, at least, that's what I'd guess."

Emi frowned. Something deeper…what could that entail? Hurt…there was undoubtedly hurt in Tsubaki's eyes when she'd ran off; Emi even thought she'd seen tears pooling. But…how on earth could Kousei have possibly hurt Tsubaki? Unless she was understanding their relationship wrong, Emi was under the impression the two of them had been close friends. Plus, Kousei wasn't the type to hurt others, not even accidentally. He was always so considerate of everyone else's feelings. So…what could have possibly happened between them?

"Listen," Nagi at last said, breaking the lull, "maybe you shouldn't do this."

Emi blinked. "What? I thought we agreed hooking him up with someone was the best course of action!"

"It is, it is," Nagi said. "That's not what I mean. I'm saying that maybe you're trying to fit two people together when they're not meant to be."

"But she used to have a crush on him! Doesn't that mean anything?"

Nagi gave her a flat stare. " _Used to_ , Emi. She used to have a crush on him. And people get over crushes." The blonde gestured towards the hallway Tsubaki had disappeared into. "You saw how she ran off. If there had ever been any romantic feelings for him, they're long gone now."

Emi stared at the floor. "Maybe you're just reading into things too much. You're getting that from just one interaction, after all."

Nagi sighed. "Fine, how about this, then. Instead of Tsubaki, try thinking about how Kousei feels. Even before Kaori died, he never had feelings for Tsubaki. They were always unrequited. Why should that change now, especially given his emotional state?"

For some reason, the arguments Nagi was giving, valid though they were, only seemed to rile Emi up. "I see what you're saying. I do. But I can't help but feel there's hope for this. Maybe I'm only deluding myself, but I refuse to dismiss this so early. I at least want to try to make it work before it comes to that."

Nagi frowned, and looked as though she was about to say something. However, she ended up stopping herself with a sigh. "Alright, you win. Show me your matchmaking skills, oh wise master."

Emi chuckled. "You bet. I just hope Tsubaki'll actually rejoin the party."

.

"Uh…Tsubaki? Are you alright?" Kousei's voice was muffled behind the bathroom door. Unfortunately, Tsubaki could still pick out the concern in his voice. Dammit! Why did he have to sound so worried for her? That would only make everything worse!

"I'm fine," Tsubaki replied, doing her best to sound normal while she wiped her eyes clean of the tears forming in them. "Please, get back to the party. You haven't seen Watari in weeks, right?"

"I haven't seen you in much longer." Kousei countered. "Listen, I don't want to be nosy but…I thought I saw you crying, so…are you really alright?"

Tsubaki felt a brief stab of panic shoot through her. He'd seen her cry? Crap!

"No…" Tsubaki heard herself admit. She knew it would only make Kousei more concerned, but for some reason it just slipped out. "But it's none of your business, and I don't want to talk about it anyway."

A pause lingered.

Finally, the door creaked tentatively open, and Kousei peered his head around it. Seeing that Tsubaki did indeed seem relatively ok, he breathed out a sigh of relief and stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. He took a step toward her; Tsubaki flinched, recoiling away from him. She gasped, realizing too late what her reaction had done. Worry mixed with hurt spread across Kousei's face. Tsubaki could see the question in his eyes: "Why would she recoil away from me?"

Dammit. Why did she have to make him worry even more?

"Tsubaki…" Kousei said, now avoiding her gaze. "I just…you _are_ still my childhood friend. You know that, right? I'll always be there for you."

Tsubaki stifled a scowl. _You weren't there for me then!_

Some of her anger must have shone through her face, though, as Kousei's expression saddened further. He backed up a step. "Sorry if I did something to wrong you. If it's because I haven't really spoken to you during your time in America…well, I guess I have no excuse. That was wrong of me, and I'm sorry." He paused, noting Tsubaki's still hesitant body language. "I'll…I'll just leave, then."

"No!" Tsubaki said suddenly. She didn't know why, but Kousei's sincere apology affected her deeply. Why? Why did he have to confuse her like this? Two years her heart had been broken…and now here he was making it hope all over again. Why did he have to have such an affect on her?

Kousei stared at her, his eyes still worried.

"I…I want to know…I want to know what happened while I was gone." Tsubaki said.

"Huh?"

"Tell me about what happened while I was in America. I want to know all the new developments." Tsubaki said. Technically she'd already heard the important ones from Watari, but somehow…somehow Tsubaki felt like she wanted to talk to Kousei again. Maybe they could…make amends, somehow.

Kousei smiled, though unlike earlier, instead of reminding Tsubaki of the past, all she could see was warmth. He cared for her, and wanted to talk with her. That's what that smile conveyed.

"Alright." Kousei sat down on the tiled floor beside Tsubaki, crossing his legs and grinning boyishly. "What do you wanna know?"

Tsubaki pushed aside her apprehension. _Just this once, I can pretend everything is normal_. "Watari told me you started living with Emi. Is that true?"

Kousei rubbed his neck. "He did, did he? Yeah, Igawa was nice enough to let me stay with her, free of rent. I don't know where I'd be if it weren't for her. Guess my teaching job didn't go so well, huh?"

Tsubaki couldn't help but frown. Why was she asking this sort of question? It only tied back to his job…which tied back to… _that_. Was she not trying to make things better? She should be asking about something else. But…she and Kousei had barely spoken during her time in America. She hardly even knew what to ask about.

Kousei seemed to see her frustration. "How about I just tell you about some things that happened, then? You were gone for a while, after all. You probably don't even know what to ask."

"Th-Thanks…" Tsubaki said. How did he read her so easily?

"Well…" Kousei stroked his chin in thought. "Emi got a job at this really big corporation. Apparently she's one of the best in her department. Lots of people rely on her there. It's really high paying. Probably why she doesn't make me pay rent."

"She doesn't play piano anymore, huh?" Tsubaki surmised.

Kousei shook his head. "She never was as motivated as Takeshi and me, I think. Still, she does play a bit every now and again."

Tsubaki's eyes narrowed. "So…Takeshi still plays?"

"Yep." Kousei nodded. "He's really good, too. But everyone says Nagi's going to beat him. She's already one of the youngest professionals at her skill level. You should have seen her play last week; she was at a competition and totally crushed it!"

"She's nice, isn't she?" Tsubaki smiled.

Kousei returned it. "Yeah. Well, except when she's drunk. Which she probably is right now, now that I think about it. Then she gets all clingy and whines about how I refuse to go out with her."

Tsubaki flinched. "Wha—go out with her?!" Why would Nagi ever say something like that?!

Kousei put on a slightly disdainful face. "Yeah…well, I guess you wouldn't know. Nagi fell in love with me at some point. It's been kind of irritating, actually. At least she's fine most of the time. Honestly, I think it's the only reason she still bothers to hang out with me. Makes Takeshi super angry, though."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Takeshi lost his competitive hatred for me a long time ago, especially when I dropped out of doing concerts and all of that. Now the only reason he despises me is cause he's afraid I'll taint his 'precious baby sister'."

Tsubaki burst out laughing. "Yeah, cause you're totally the type to take advantage of any girl you meet! Ha! I can hardly imagine you flirting properly!"

Kousei laughed as well. "Yeah…honestly, Nagi's probably even gotten better than me. Is that an arrogant comment? I'm not sure…anyway, she's gotten really good. Sometimes I wonder what things would have been like if I'd decided to keep going with my professional career. Would I be ranking top in the world? Would I be exactly as good as I am now? Maybe I would have the courage to play alongside her again…"

Piano…it always came back to that. And now Kousei was talking about his job? Tsubaki couldn't hold herself back from asking. "Why did you quit performing?"

Kousei's gaze was distant, like he was stuck in a lost memory. He simply stared off for a moment, either contemplating her question or having not heard it at all. Finally, though, he spoke. "I'm not sure I fully know, myself. I kept doing it after…she died…because I liked to do it. I'd rediscovered my joy and passion for piano, so why would I stop because of one bad thing? But…I don't know…something about it felt off to me as I continued. The whole experience of performing on stage reminded me of the past, I think. It lost its glamour, so to speak. Of course, I didn't want to give it up. Funnily enough, it was Emi of all people who pushed me to eventually teach. She helped me recall my time tutoring Nagi. So, I faded from people's memories by becoming a simple teacher." Kousei glanced down at his lap. "I wonder if that's secretly why Takeshi still hates me."

Tsubaki didn't know how to respond. All of this backstory and emotion from Kousei…since Kaori, he'd shut himself away from others, rarely ever talking about her or his emotions. Tsubaki could hardly believe how much he was revealing to her now. What had happened while she was gone? Tsubaki glanced up, trying to read his face. His eyes were distant again, but somehow now they seemed…sad, somehow. Not temporarily, not superficially…but like a scar, deeply cut and never fading. Depression? Tsubaki felt a sudden tugging on her heart. Was Kousei alright?

"Do you regret it?" Tsubaki at last asked. She felt bad that she wasn't able to comfort him, to somehow alleviate the pain, that all she could do was ask another question. But there was a certain deep complexity to the sadness in his eyes. What hardships Tsubaki had gone through…they wouldn't help her understand the pain inside him. All she could do was something as futile as ask another question.

Kousei's face remained hard, like a statue…until he at last smiled at her.

"No."

The smile that adorned his lips…Tsubaki studied it intently. Was it the smile of the man who'd broken her heart at one point in the past?

No…this was the melancholic smile of a man who'd never be whole again.

.

All of the guests had left. Takeshi and Nagi were the first, as Nagi's drunken flirting prompted Takeshi to drag her out the door by her wrist. Then Kousei and Emi left together. Apparently, much to Tsubaki's irritation, Kousei didn't own his own car. She supposed it was to be expected at this point, but still. Once they were gone, it was just Tsubaki, Watari and his wife.

Tsubaki sighed as she stared down the empty, darkened street, shivering somewhat as she held a glass of wine in her hand. Something about her earlier conversation with Kousei still lingered, but she couldn't decide exactly what. As she brooded over it, Watari opened the door and stepped out onto the deck alongside her.

"You want to come inside?" He asked concernedly. "It's pretty chilly out here."

Tsubaki didn't meet his eyes, still staring down the street. "No, thanks. I'm fine."

Watari eyed the glass of wine in her hand. "I didn't realize you drank. Well, but I guess I haven't really seen you properly in a long time. But from what I recall, you weren't much of a drinker, right?"

Tsubaki tore her gaze away from the spot Emi's car had disappeared at to the wine glass. "I'm not, not really. But tonight…I needed an extra something." She idly wondered if that's why she even allowed herself to get into her conversation with Kousei.

"Alright," Watari replied.

The two sat in the relative silence of the dark urban area. The night sky above seemed peaceful to Tsubaki, but right now she had difficulty appreciating it. Her eyes couldn't help but return to the road Kousei had taken to and from the spot Tsubaki now stood.

"Did something happen?" Watari at last broke the silence. "Between you and Kousei."

Tsubaki reflected back on her conversation with Kousei. _Had_ something happened? It was a conversation she'd never thought she'd have had with him. Up until recently, she only viewed him as the man that had broken her heart. How could she have had such a pleasant conversation with him minutes after running away from him, and in tears, no less? But she knew why it had happened. As much as Tsubaki hated to admit it, she'd been wrong. Wrong that Kousei was all that she'd thought he was. He'd still hurt her, of course, and that pain would need to be addressed at some point…but no, Kousei was not as simple as that.

One look into his eyes had been enough to figure that out.

"I…I think so…" Tsubaki finally responded. Suddenly, she realized what that meant. "Wait, we're you eavesdropping on our conversation?"

Watari cocked his head confusedly. "What? No. I just meant that…well, when I brought him up taking you back from the airport, you kind of tensed up. I just sort of felt like maybe something had happened between you two at some point, something I was unaware of."

Tsubaki nodded. "That is—was—true."

"But now?" Watari prompted.

Tsubaki's gaze lingered on the dark street. The image of Kousei's distant expression returned to her. It was sort of familiar, somehow. That conversation had changed her opinion of Kousei. Now…she still wasn't sure what she thought of him. It wasn't the same as it had been, to be certain. But…somehow, Tsubaki was fine with that. Mending things…she was okay with that.

Suddenly, it dawned on her.

That expression on Kousei's face…so full of longing, of sadness, of a past full of hurt more profound than Tsubaki could ever know...the culmination of all of those feelings in Kousei's eyes was the exact same as the face Tsubaki had seen in the mirror that night, though much, much deeper. She knew, then, what haunted him.

Love.

Love so deep-cutting that it would never heal.

.

 **Hey, everyone. Here's Chapter 3! I hope you like it; I worked pretty hard on this one.**

 **I hope you guys like the inclusion of Tsubaki into the story, because she's here to stay, essentially. It was really fun writing from her perspective; I liked having a character other than Emi to get inside the head of. She'll definitely be a huge part of the story, so expect more of her.**

 **Also, sorry for so many perspective jumps; I'll try to do that less.**

 **Until next time!**


	4. Chapter 4: Tensions Rise

The night was dark. The last bit of twilight had passed, leaving the city drenched in blackness. Stars twinkled overhead. Glancing up at them through her sunroof, Emi felt a remarkable sense of calm. Even in light of all that was happening, right now, she could enjoy this moment. The calm of night was infectious, making Emi forget her worries, if only briefly. Yesterday's party had been a handful.

"Hey, Emi, get your butt in gear." Nagi called impatiently from the back seat. "The light just went."

Emi sighed, abandoning the peace of the stars above and quickly hitting the gas, driving through the intersection as per Nagi's command. To her left, Kousei stared out the window, looking wistful. It had come to be his favourite habit as of late. Emi tried not to think of the ramifications of that as they drove through the night.

"We should go drinking." Nagi suggested. "That always makes for a fun time."

Emi eyed Kousei for his reaction. He didn't provide one.

"I don't know if I really want to go anywhere else, tonight, Nagi." Emi said.

"Aw, what?" Nagi pouted. "You old people are too stiff! Try to get out and live a little some time, why don't you! Why's it that whenever we go to drink it's because _I_ suggested it?"

"Because you're the only one who wants to get wasted." Emi replied. "Listen, I just meant I don't feel like going anyplace else. How about we just all head back to my apartment? I think I've got a few bottles of wine kicking around."

Nagi seemed to like the idea. "Ooh, perfect! But if I end up passing out, you need to make sure I make it back to my dorm alright, alright?"

"I've done it enough times to know the protocol." Emi said. "Don't worry; you'll get back to your dorm one way or another."

A silence hung over them as no one seemed to know how to contribute to the conversation. Just as it seemed to finally die, Nagi miraculously brought it back to life with a harsh poke to Kousei's cheek.

"Hey, why aren't you talking?" Nagi complained. "Seriously, Emi's no fun to talk to, Kousei. You need to help me out, here."

Kousei put on a wan smile. "Sorry, Nagi. I was just doing some thinking."

"Aren't you thinking all the time?" Nagi said. "It certainly looks that way."

Kousei chuckled. "I guess it would, wouldn't it?"

Emi raised an eyebrow, but Nagi voiced her thoughts. "Well, what the hell does _that_ mean?"

Kousei paused, glancing upwards pensively. Then, grinning cheeky, he reached back and ruffled Nagi's blonde locks. "Maybe I'll explain when you're older."

Nagi blushed at the affectionate gesture, but hastily slapped his hand away in indignation. "You'd better drink a considerable amount, today, then, Kousei. I never get to see you when you're _actually_ drunk. I've always wondered what it would be like."

Kousei sighed. "I'll have a bit more than normal, but that's it."

"Yay!" Nagi cheered.

Emi found herself grinning as they drove. Heading through the night, it didn't take them too long to get to Emi's apartment. Parking her car in her stall, Emi, her housemate and Nagi got out and headed inside. Unlocking and opening the door, Emi flicked on some lights. Taking off her winter gear, she sauntered inside while the other two removed their costs and shoes.

Nagi walked further inside, glancing about. "I keep forgetting how nice your apartment is, Emi. So nice…and spacious."

"I take it the dorms aren't too big." Kousei presumed with a chuckle.

"Nope," Nagi huffed, instantly making herself at home by flopping down onto the couch. Emi sighed, but left her be. Nagi's impulsive and sometimes insensitive behavior was something she ought to have been used to at this point, anyway.

"So…" Emi began, pulling open a cabinet and scanning the selection of liquor. "What do you want, exactly?"

"Vodka!" Nagi called from her position lying on the couch.

"Nothing too strong, please," Kousei answered with a grimace.

"Too bad; I want wine." Emi said, grinning slyly as she pulled out a bottle of wine.

Nagi sat upright, frowning. "Well, why'd you even ask, then, if you were just gonna veto our answers?"

Emi set the bottle down onto the island, pulling out some wine glasses once she did. "Because that's just good manners, to ask your guests what they want."

"It's also good manners to actually give them what they want." Kousei said dryly.

"Yeah, well, too bad." Emi said, opening the wine bottle. "I'm the owner of this apartment. Kousei doesn't get to make demands, since I let him stay here for free, and Nagi's…Nagi."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!" Nagi cried incredulously.

"It means we're drinking wine, so suck it up." Emi said, chuckling to herself at Nagi's response.

"Aw, man…" Nagi flopped back down, laying sprawled out atop the couch. "Wine sucks. Kousei's never gonna get properly drunk with just that."

"Why do you always pick wine, Igawa?" Kousei asked curiously. "It always seems to be that."

Emi shrugged as she poured wine into each of the glasses. "I'm not sure. I guess I'm just fond of it. And don't worry, Nagi. We'll pull out some stronger drinks later on. No sense in drinking hard straight away, you know?"

Nagi sighed. "I guess."

Holding two full glasses, Emi rounded the island and made her way over to Kousei, who'd sat down on the chair adjacent to the couch. He smiled politely and accepted the wine. Emi then sauntered over to Nagi, who still lay across the couch, her hair a mess and her expression somewhat dissatisfied. She still received the glass, though, sitting upright to take a sip. Emi herself made her way back to the island to grab her own glass.

"So…" Emi began. "Do we want to put on a movie?"

"You always have a movie on." Kousei remarked with a chuckle.

"I want to socialize!" Nagi cried, taking another sip of wine. "How will I be able to tease Kousei if everyone's got their eyes glued to a screen?"

"Yeesh, fine." Emi said, sighing. "No movie, then. I guess we'll just talk."

"We could play truth or dare!" Nagi exclaimed, her eyes wide.

"I thought you wanted to tease me, though." Kousei pointed out, eyeing his glass before taking a tentative sip.

"I can still tease you," Nagi said, swinging her legs back and forth as they dangled off the armrest of the couch. Her brow furrowing as she ostensibly thought, a nasty expression grew on her face. "In fact, I could probably get way more fun out of that than just ordinary talking."

"Oh, good…" Kousei said weakly.

"Isn't truth or dare a bit childish?" Emi said. "Even for you, Nagi. We're twenty-two, and you're twenty. We're not high schoolers anymore."

Nagi frowned, continuing to sip her wine. "I'm disappointed in you, Emi. Surely you've realized one thing about adults: no matter how old we get, there's always still a kid inside of us. You shouldn't push that part of yourself down. You should let the kid in you out! And this kid wants to play truth or dare!"

"Honestly, it seems like you let the kid out too much," Emi remarked quietly.

"Well, I guess I'd be up for a few rounds." Kousei said with hesitant enthusiasm.

Emi rolled her eyes, taking a sip. "Fine. Go for it."

Nagi grinned, her swinging legs moving more vigorously. "Okay, okay, okay…wait, can I go first? Whatever, I'm just gonna go. Kousei! Truth or dare?"

Kousei flinched. "Oh, boy…I'm already having second thoughts about this…dare, I guess."

Nagi pouted. "Aw, man…you're no fun. Fine. I dare you…to strip off your shirt!" Nagi pointed an almost victorious finger at Kousei.

"Wh-Wha—?" Kousei stammered.

Emi stifled a snicker.

Nagi was blushing furiously, but maintained a nasty grin. "Do it!"

Kousei fidgeted uncomfortably. "Ah, man…do I really have to? Can't you just give me something less embarrassing?"

"Oh, come on, Kousei." Emi said, smiling wickedly. "Just think of it like you're at a pool, or the beach…or a hot spring."

Kousei began to redden. "B-But hot springs are for stripping naked completely!"

Nagi began to chuckle darkly. "Ooh, now there's an idea…but we'll get to that later. For now, be rid of that shirt!"

Kousei continued to mumble protests, but began to unbuttoned his shirt. While Emi rolled her eyes, Nagi, her cheeks flushed red, eagerly watched as Kousei pulled the shirt over his head and discarded it on the floor beside him. As Nagi tried to keep from fainting, Emi snuck a peek at Kousei's now exposed torso. Reluctantly, she had to admit he looked pretty good. His muscles were nowhere near Watari's, but he certainly wasn't unfit.

His shirt now disposed of, Kousei shyly attempted to cover himself up, but was ordered forcefully by Nagi to display his quote 'glorious body' for all to see.

"Now it's my turn, huh?" Kousei said, his face red. "Can I get you back, at least?"

Nagi gasped dramatically. "Kousei! I don't believe it! You'd willingly order a woman to strip simply because you underwent a little humiliation? Shameful!"

Kousei gaped. "What? Huh? Th-That's not what I meant! I was just—"

Nagi burst into laughter. "Relax, Kousei. I was just joking. But no, you can't get me back. That would make things uninteresting."

"What, so we're forced into a loop?" Emi asked, raising an eyebrow. "I can't even dare Kousei to do anything?"

Nagi shrugged. "We can switch it the other way at some point."

"Fine." Kousei turned to Emi. "Truth or dare, Igawa?"

Emi thought for a moment. Did she have any embarrassing secrets? She didn't think so. But then again, maybe it was best to play it safe. It wasn't like Kousei of all people would actually think of a dare Emi would be unwilling to do.

"Dare." She at last decided.

Kousei nodded, and appeared thoughtful for a moment, deciding on a dare. At last, he regarded her again. "I dare you to…let Nagi draw something on your forehead with permanent marker."

Emi gaped.

Nagi guffawed. "Ha, ha! That's hilarious! Kousei, I didn't realize you were so devilish!"

Emi shivered. "Um…can it at least be marker I can wash off? I could get fired for having something vulgar on my forehead."

Kousei inclined his head. "Yes, but you have to leave it on for the rest of the night."

Emi sighed, gesturing reluctantly for Nagi to go ahead. The blonde grinned nasty and set put to find the appropriate marker, heading down the hall for the closet. She soon returned, but was forced by Emi to make certain it could be washed off. After that had been confirmed, Emi closed her eyes, sat down, and resigned herself to her fate.

"Perfect!" Nagi pulled back, putting the cap back on the marker. Behind her, Kousei snickered.

"Oh, great." Emi groaned. "What did you draw, then?"

"See for yourself!" Kousei laughed.

Standing up, Emi walked a death march to the bathroom. Inside, she flicked on the light and looked in the mirror. Ah, wonderful. Unibrow, mustache, goatee. _That's_ what Nagi had decided on? A tad, uncreative for her, wasn't it?

"I would have expected more from you, Nagi," Emi confessed as she returned. "Such a generic choice."

"Hey!" Nagi cried indignantly. "I was just sticking to something ordinary in case the marker ended up being permanent!"

Emi frowned. "But we tested it beforehand…"

"Well, I admit I was considering switching out the marker while you weren't looking…" Nagi said.

"What?!" Emi cried incredulously.

"Relax, relax!" Nagi said hastily. "I didn't do a thing! Even _I'm_ not that evil. Most of the time." She put on an innocent grin.

Emi sighed. "So, what, now it's my turn? And I have to ask Nagi?"

Kousei nodded.

"I choose truth!" Nagi said immediately. "There's no way I'm letting you get me back for that. _Especially_ when Kousei was the one who'd decided on that dare."

Emi cupped her chin with her thumb and forefinger, thinking about what to ask Nagi. This was going to be tough. Nagi was rather open about a lot of stuff. Emi imagined that no matter what she asked her, Nagi would answer without a hint of embarrassment.

Eventually, Emi decided. "Truths are wasted on you, Nagi. Ok…what's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done or that's ever happened to you?" It was the best Emi could come up with. Maybe it would humiliate Nagi some, maybe not.

Nagi frowned. "Damn…you're a cruel one, Emi."

Emi blinked. "Wait, you actually have something you don't want to tell us?"

"Really?" Kousei chimed in.

Nagi fidgeted uncomfortably. "Man…do I really have to say?"

"Yes!" Both Kousei and Emi said at once. Hesitation and sensitivity from Nagi of all people? This had to be good!

Nagi sighed, frowning. "Okay. One time during one of my minor recitals, one that you guys didn't see, I accidentally got so into playing that I fell off of my stool on the middle of the performance. I got so embarrassed that I didn't even finish the song. I just ended up walking off stage. It was super horrible. Takeshi was there; he can testify."

Emi and Kousei were rolling on the floor.

"Ha, ha, ha!" Emi guffawed. "That's hilarious! And you didn't even finish? What happened afterwards?"

Nagi blushed uncomfortably, avoiding Emi and Kousei's gaze. "W-Well…I couldn't bear to walk back out onto stage, and I texted Takeshi, and we just sort of…left."

"You just left?" Kousei gawked. "Without even telling anyone?"

Nagi nodded, still fidgeting. "Yeah…I have no idea what they did. I was supposed to be the only one performing, so they had to have told the audience that I'd left or something."

Emi and Kousei broke into further laughing fits.

Nagi grumbled. "Rgh…this is what I get for choosing truth. I thought I was bulletproof, but lo and behold, young miss Emi Igawa managed to pierce my armour. At least now I get to take out my rage on Kousei." She got a nasty glint in her eye.

Kousei gulped. "D-Dare…"

Nagi frowned. "Aw, what? When are you going to let me ask you something personal?" She huffed a reluctant sigh. "Fine. I dare you…to answer my next question truthfully!"

"Huh?" Kousei stammered. "But…that's not how this game works! You can't just dare me in such a way that it's as though I picked truth!"

"Oh?" Nagi grinned, looking a tad drunk. "And why not?"

"B-Because…" Kousei mumbled. "Because dare is for actions, while truth is for words!"

"And speaking isn't an action?" Nagi asked. "C'mon, Kousei—no harm in a little question, right?"

"With you, there's always a potential for harm," Kousei pouted to himself.

"I'd like to see you actually divulge something personal about yourself for once, Kousei." Emi chimed on. "You're always so reserved and tight-lipped about that sort of stuff. If we're your friends, why can't you confide in us some of this stuff?"

Kousei looked at a loss. _Yes_ , Emi thought. They had won the argument. Now hopefully Nagi would actually choose a worthwhile question.

"Fine," Kousei said, slouching as he squeezed his crumpled shirt in his hands. "Ask your question."

Nagi smirked. "Okay. Hmm…alright, I've got a little question for you. Why do you secretly sneak out of Emi's apartment to visit the Miyazono bakery as well as Kaori's grave?"

Emi felt her heart stop.

Stunned silence hung over them. Nagi drunkenly stood there trying not to look drunk; Emi tried to process what had just happened and why; Kousei still sat there, expression unreadable. Emi's heart finally working again, it began pounding like a jackhammer. Nagi! Why would you ask something like that?! It must have been something the blonde had been thinking about a lot if it took only this small amount of wine to bring it out of her.

"H-Huh…?" Kousei at last broke the silence. Confusion was plastered onto his face as he stared up at Nagi, who seemed blissfully unconcerned.

Emi felt incredibly tense. More than wanting to scold Nagi big time for this blunder, she wanted to know what Kousei would say next. Would he confirm it? Deny it? Act confused some more? Excuse himself? A plethora of possibilities ran through Emi's mind before Kousei eventually did say something again.

"You…you know about that?"

Nagi nodded, still seemingly consumed by alcohol. "Emi does, too. We went spying on you last week on saw you go into the bakery. We also talked to the lady at the counter there and she told us about how you visit Kaori's grave sometimes. What's up with that?"

Emi was having a panic attack.

"You too, Igawa?" Kousei gave her a look Emi couldn't interpret. Was he mad? Disappointed? Apathetic? Emi couldn't read it!

"I-I'm sorry, Kousei," Emi began, still having trouble believing her act of espionage had been revealed. "I just got this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I ended up following you with Nagi, and I accidentally came across that. I just…wanted to make sure it wasn't anything bad." Well, it was bad, still, in Emi's opinion. But she wasn't sure Kousei would see it that way.

Kousei gave a wan smile, a sliver of sadness entering it. "I see…well, I guess I couldn't have expected to get away with it forever."

Emi felt her heart breaking for him. "Kousei…why are you doing this? You need to tell me, please. If you're in trouble, I can help you. _We_ can help you. You don't have to face your problems alone. Just let us in!"

Kousei stood up suddenly, his hair hanging in front of his eyes, obscuring them from view. His knuckles were white, his fists clenched around his shirt. "No," He said forcefully. "I don't want you interfering with this stuff. There's a reason I kept it a secret from you."

Emi reached a hand out to him. "Kousei…please—"

"Igawa." He met her eyes. His were sad, so very sad, but also caring, caring for her. He genuinely didn't want her to worry, to fret over the things he was dealing with. So humble, yet it was going to destroy him inside if he kept on like this. Still, Emi couldn't move. "Please, Igawa. Just leave me be."

Kousei left the room with just a smile that made Emi feel all the worse.

.

"Thanks a ton, Watari," Tsubaki said with a grunt as she set the last of her many boxes down in the dusty living room of her new apartment.

The muscular young man nodded, sweating and breathing heavily. "You bet! I'm always there for my friends!" So far he'd helped Tsubaki carry eighty percent of the boxes. While it was very chivalrous of him, and she appreciated it, Tsubaki couldn't help but feel a tad useless before him.

Tsubaki grimaced as she overlooked the size of the apartment. It wasn't huge or anything, but it was big enough to make her feel guilty. "You sure you're fine with paying for the first few months of rent, Watari? I'd hate to make you feel like you have to or something."

Watari waved a hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it, please. I have more money than I know what to do with." That was certainly true; his house was enormous.

Looking around, Tsubaki's imagination ran rampant as she filled in the various corners, cracks and crevices of her new apartment with her things. She could just envision the possibilities! This place was definitely going to be home before long, Tsubaki could _feel_ it. She just really didn't want to have to unpack all of her boxes, first.

Watari checked his watch, his expression becoming suddenly exasperated. "Uh, oh…hey, sorry, Tsubaki, but I've got to go now. I wish I could stay to help you unpack…"

"No, no, please!" Tsubaki replied. "I'd feel awful if I kept letting you do all the work for me."

Watari smiled encouragingly. "I guess I'll see you later, then."

And so Tsubaki was alone. Glancing around the apartment, she found herself unsure of how to start. How did she even want to go about this? What box did she want to unpack first? The possibilities swirled around her head, like a swarm of flies. Gah! What was she to do?!

A sudden buzzing interrupted her thoughts.

Tsubaki pulled out her phone from her pocket. Huh…it was Kousei. After having talked with him at the party, and decided to try again with him, she'd gotten his phone number from Watari. But…why was he texting her right now? It was pretty late, after all. Tsubaki was genuinely debating just calling it a night right here and now.

She checked the text message. "I just got off the bus stop near your new apartment. Hope you're home!"

Tsubaki blinked.

Huh?! Kousei was coming to her new apartment, now? Why?! Oh no, this was going to be a disaster! Was Tsubaki even ready to talk to him again, to face him? Panic quickly began to set in as Tsubaki hastily tried to make herself not look quite so disheveled.

Soon after, her doorbell rang. Heart beating in her chest, Tsubaki checked through the peephole. Sure enough, Kousei stood there, looking a bit cold. Hurriedly, Tsubaki opened the door for him, letting a blast of cold air in before he shut the door behind him.

"Thanks, Tsubaki," Kousei said as he proceeded to remove his winter clothes. "Sorry for coming by on such short notice. I really appreciate it."

Tsubaki merely nodded and stood aside as Kousei stepped in. What was she supposed to say?! Kousei for her was still something she was so confused about! For the longest while she'd had a grudge against him, which still sort of lingered, but now she was planning on making up with him. All these emotions were mixing together and conflicting and she didn't know what to do and—

Kousei smiled.

Tsubaki froze.

"So…nice place." He said, as though nothing was amiss, taking a glance at Tsubaki's new apartment. While she tried to call down and be normal, Kousei noted the boxes on the ground. "Oh…you weren't done unpacking. I'm sorry for bothering you in the middle of that! Uh…if you want, I could give you a hand with it."

Tsubaki, miraculously, responded coherently. "Really? In the middle of the night? I was honestly planning to hit the sack, here."

Kousei's posture drooped, and he looked crestfallen. "Ah…I see. Of course; that makes sense. I'll go, then. It was nice seeing you, Tsubaki."

Suddenly, without knowing why, her hand lunged for his, and she grabbed his wrist as he made to leave. Kousei froze, uncertain, and gave her a questioning look. _Wh-Why did I just do that?!_ Tsubaki stuttered internally.

"Tsubaki?" Kousei cocked a brow.

She let go hastily, shoving her hands into pockets. Damn! Why did Kousei always make everything so confusing and complicated?! Couldn't she just go back to hating him?

"Um…I wouldn't mind some help with the boxes," she at last managed, evading his gaze.

Kousei gave a chuckle. "If you say, so, Tsubaki. But you had a point. Are you sure you don't want to be going to bed? It _is_ pretty late."

Tsubaki shook her head, feeling a bit more ordinary as she continued to talk with him. "No, no. My body's internal schedule is still a bit messed up. I can stay up a couple more hours and get all this unpacking done with you, if you're up for it."

Kousei grinned, and nodded. "Sure. I do enjoy spending time with you, Tsubaki. Don't feel hesitant if you ever want to hang out. I'm always willing, though I might not always have the time."

Tsubaki found herself smiling as well. She gestured to the large pile of boxes. "Well, then let's get started."

Time seemed to fly by as they got to packing. Kousei's extra help was greatly appreciated, and while he didn't quite have the same strong body that Watari did, Tsubaki knew it'd have been way harder without him. The first few boxes were larger pieces of furniture, like tables, chairs, even shelves, most of which Tsubaki had simply pre-ordered ahead of time. Carrying both sides of some of the larger ones, like the bed and the couch, and with a bit of maneuvering, the two were able to unload the big ones.

As they moved onto the smaller items, Kousei had the idea to put on some music while they worked, something apparently he and Emi did while doing chores at her apartment. To Tsubaki's surprise, it wasn't just classical music, but also some jazz tunes among many other kinds of music. Who knew Kousei actually had musical interests outside old piano pieces from several centuries ago?

As they worked, time seemed to fly by. By the time the majority of the boxes had been unpacked, and Tsubaki at last checked her watch, it was already three in the morning. Yikes! She didn't yet have a job, but a sleep schedule like this wasn't going to be helpful to her health.

"Phew," Kousei breathed, wiping his sweating forehead as Tsubaki covered her watch back up with the cuff of her sleeve. "We finally got them all unpacked. Well, except for those personal items of yours. I'll be sure to leave them to you."

Tsubaki nodded breathlessly, still tired and breathing heavy from the labour. Man, was she really that winded? Had it really been do long since she'd done anything remotely athletic? Her studies in America, it seemed, had taken that part of her old life away from her as well.

Kousei glanced from side to side awkwardly, suddenly seeming as though he wasn't sure what to do. He chuckled nervously. "Uh…I guess I'd better go now, huh? I've already overstated my welcome, I think."

Something _pained_ in Tsubaki's heart then. Huh? What was this? She frowned, her heart suddenly beating faster. No—she didn't want Kousei to leave. But…but why? This…tugging feeling was so strong…how come? Kousei had hurt her, and though she'd decided to mend things with him, surely things weren't so great between them that such a _strong_ emotion would be evoked just at Kousei's insistence on leaving.

Right?

"Well…see you, Tsubaki." Kousei smiled with a hint of melancholy as he started for the door.

"Why did you come here?" Tsubaki suddenly burst. Agh! Why had she suddenly said something like _that_ out of the blue?

Kousei cocked a confused eyebrow.

Crap! Well, she was locked into this, now. "I-I mean…why did you come here tonight? It's well past midnight, and I've never known you to be a night owl. Were you just walking alone out there? Why?" As her thoughts tumbled out as words, Tsubaki looked into Kousei's eyes expectantly.

Kousei seemed surprised by her questions, and avoided her gaze once she was finished. Half of his expression was hidden in the darkness, making him even harder to read. What was he thinking? Did he think her nosey for asking these sorts of potentially personal questions? What was going through his head? Tsubaki burned to know.

"I…got into a bit of an argument with Igawa," Kousei at last said. "It wasn't her fault, so don't be mad with her on my behalf or anything. But…with things as they were, I couldn't just stay. I hated to bother you, but I didn't know where else to go. Your place was closest."

Tsubaki frowned sadly. "Really? Do you…have no place to sleep, then?"

Kousei blinked, his eyes wide. "Huh? Oh, no, please! Don't feel like you have to accommodate me. I can just head back to Igawa's. It might be a bit awkward in the morning, but it's nothing either of us can't handle."

The tugging feeling again.

Tsubaki frowned. "Dang it, Kousei. Why do you always have to be so self sacrificing? You know I'm fine with letting you crash here tonight, right?"

Kousei blinked in surprise. "R-Really? Are you sure?"

Tsubaki sighed, rolling her eyes as she folded her arms and leaned back against the wall. "Yes. It's not like there's anything actually going on with my life that letting you sleep here tonight would be an issue. You can just sleep on the couch or something."

Kousei chuckled wanly. "It'll be just like normal. Thanks, Tsubaki."

Tsubaki smiled somewhat. "No problem. What are friends for, right?"

Kousei returned the smile, and headed for the bathroom, murmuring about having 'held it for the last hour'. Tsubaki then stood alone in the darkness of her new apartment. Her last utterance continued to replay in her head. _Friends._ Was that what she and Kousei were at this point? Tsubaki was still so confused about her relationship with Kousei. After spending so much time adamantly holding a grudge against him, Tsubaki had quickly switched and forgiven him, vowing to mend things. Now she was calling them _friends?_ Just how fickle was she?!

Was this always what she and him would be? It seemed that even when she tried to hate Kousei, she couldn't. As soon as she'd had a conversation with him, all of her hate had gone away. Why? Why was Kousei constantly a light in her life? No matter what, everything came back to him. Would she never be rid of him? Would she ever live her life without him?

Would she ever desire to?

"Tsubaki?"

A tugging.

Tsubaki spun around quickly, trying to assume a natural position leaned against the wall as she faced Kousei, who had just come from the bathroom.

"Um…you don't suppose I could have anything to eat, do you?"

"Oh!" Tsubaki hastily attempted to regain her composure, and rushed for the kitchen, which she'd stocked up earlier with a few essential items. "I think I've got a few things here…" She rummaged through, but quickly found that whatever she had packed wasn't exactly what you'd call resplendent food choices. Kousei deserved better than this!

She froze.

There it was again! Kousei this, Kousei that…he was stuck in her head. Even this simple, mundane decision was based on Kousei…what was wrong with her?

"Oh, um…" Kousei's voice came as he sauntered for the kitchen, "don't feel like you need to get anything for me. I was just wondering."

Tsubaki hastily twirled around, and tried to distract her mind. "Um…in that case, why don't you go to bed? It's pretty late, after all. I'm sure you'll want to get up early, too, so you don't make Igawa worry. You'll need plenty of rest!" She chuckled nervously.

Kousei cocked a brow, but inclined his head. "As usual, Tsubaki, you're right. Sorry again for taking advantage of your hospitality. I'll get straight to bed." He glanced from side to side anxiously. "Um…you wouldn't happen to have any pajamas, would you?"

Tsubaki frowned. "Well, not unless you count mine." She glanced at Kousei's figure. "Hmm…I don't think anything I have will fit you. Well, you might be able to make use of my big hoodie."

"Big hoodie?" Kousei repeated inquisitively.

Tsubaki flinched. Agh! Why had she mentioned _that?_ "Oh, it's nothing, just an oversized hoodie of mine. It might fit you. I'll go see." She hastily made for her closet.

A mischievous gleam flashed in Kousei's eye, reminiscent of the sort that Nagi seemed to get. Had he picked it up from her? "Oh, I see. You're embarrassed about this 'big hoodie'. Why's that?" He grinned nastily. Ah! Who was this person and what had he done with Kousei Arima?

Tsubaki pouted at him. "You're so mean, Kousei. My secrets are my secrets."

He laughed jovially. "Ha, ha! I know, I know. I'm sorry. I'm very grateful for the change of clothes. Thank you, Tsubaki." He smiled genuinely at her.

Her heart skipped a beat, feeling _tugged_ by that smile. Crap! It happened again! Why was he so…so genuine?! It was infuriating! Did he act this way around everyone? If so, it was no wonder Nagi was smitten with him! And Tsubaki couldn't figure out for the life of her why that Emi Igawa wasn't already making moves on him. Living in the same apartment? It'd be so easy! How did this man _not_ have every young lady begging for his phone number?!

"Uh…Tsubaki?"

She blinked. _Whoa, where did that come from?_ Attraction to Kousei? Ha! That was something long gone, a part of ancient history. Tsubaki had moved on. She and Kousei were just friends now, or trying to be. She wasn't falling for him _again._

Right?

"S-Sorry!" She at last responded. "Kind of blanked out there. I'll…just go get your hoodie." She hurriedly ran off.

What was with Kousei? How come he continued to have this affect on her? Tsubaki felt like she was back in high school, fallen for him for the first time. _But no,_ Tsubaki thought obstinately to herself. _Whatever the reason my heart keeps skipping beats like this, it isn't love_. Maybe some silly, frivolous crush. She did have to admit, he had turned out pretty handsome, even if he himself didn't realize it. But it wasn't love. It wasn't! It couldn't be!

Shaking her head to clear her mind, Tsubaki arrived at her closet and pulled out the big hoodie. She scrutinized it; it'd do. Quickly, she turned on her heel and headed back to the hall where she'd left Kousei.

She held it out to him. "Here. It should work."

Kousei smiled gratefully, and took it, sliding it over his body and checking it out once he was wearing it. It was just a tad short at the hem, but otherwise surprisingly a good fit. "It'll do just fine." He glanced around, seeming somewhat uncertain. "Um…hate to ask of you so much, but do you think I could borrow a blanket?"

Tsubaki frowned. Did she even have an extra? "I think I might have a smaller one. Might not cover your whole body, though."

Kousei shrugged. "Better than nothing, right?"

Tsubaki nodded, and hastily ran to her room, where she ought to have left it. After a bit of digging around through the various items she and Kousei had earlier packed away, she at last found the blanket, which was indeed way too small for him. She shrugged, though, and headed back to the hall. When she found Kousei wasn't there, she searched in the living room, and found him setting down a pillow on one end of her couch.

He looked up as she came in, and his eyes targeted the blanket. He grimaced. "That's gonna be a bit small. But I'll manage. I don't have any right to complain, after all."

He smiled, and took the blanket from her. While Tsubaki stood there uncertainly, he made his way to the couch, settling down in a lying position and setting the blanket over his legs. After a bit of shuffling, he seemed to at last be comfortable. Tsubaki, still not knowing what she should be doing with Kousei here, simply flicked the light off and stepped partway through the doorframe.

Kousei threw her a contented smile from his position on her couch. "Goodnight, Tsubaki." He then frowned, glancing to the side pensively. "Hmm…I might not be here in the morning when you wake up, just so you know."

Tsubaki's brow narrowed. "You're here…because of Igawa, right? You said something happened between you two."

Kousei sighed. "I'd really rather not talk about it, Tsubaki…"

"You owe me," Tsubaki asserted firmly. "If you're showing up to my place unannounced and sleeping here for the night, then I want an explanation." Tsubaki herself was surprised at the forcefulness behind her words. Truthfully, she wasn't that mad at him. She just really did burn to know. If Kousei really was hurting, and this tied into it, maybe Tsubaki could help. But first she needed to know the full story.

Kousei avoided her eyes, though he looked reluctant. She stood firm, however, and he at last sighed. "Fine. I can't say that I think this is something I'm okay with you knowing, but if you really want me to say, I will."

Tsubaki held her breath.

"Igawa and I…we got into a fight, tonight. Well, I guess you might call it that. I did, but only for simplicity's sake. Really, she was just concerned with me, and I tried to get her to calm down. It wasn't a good situation. I knew she was going to keep pestering me, especially with Nagi there to spur her on, so I decided to leave. Again, I'm sorry for that. Like I said, your place was closest. I just ended up at your doorstep, I guess. But really, it's nothing you should be worrying about. Even if it was serious, which it isn't, it's between Igawa and me. Just let us handle it."

Tsubaki frowned. That wasn't it! He was still hiding things from her! Rgh, why did he always do that? "That's not the whole story, Kousei. Why were you fighting? You didn't tell me that." She met his eyes dangerously.

He was frowning as well. "Listen, I said I don't want to talk about it. Just drop it."

Her brow furrowed. Dare she say it? But he needed the help, clearly. Then again…he always seemed to push away those who try to help him.

 _Screw it,_ Tsubaki thought.

"Listen up, Kousei," she began, choosing her words carefully. "I can clearly see it, though you plaster on a smile all the time, and I'm sure this argument between you and Igawa is about it too—you are sad. All the time. I can tell. You try to act like you're fine to everyone else, but anytime you think no one's looking, there's an intense sadness in your expression. I don't know why, but I do know it's not healthy to keep that pent up. You need the help of your friends and family, or even a trained professional if that won't happen. You can't keep going on like this. You need to let us in, let us help you. Otherwise this is just going to get worse and worse."

Kousei was standing now, the blanket discarded. "Wow. Only a few days, and already you notice? Impressive. Either you're a regular detective or Igawa was just really slow."

Tsubaki scowled. "Don't ignore the subject! Why did you push Igawa away when she tried to help you? Why do you _always_ push the people who try to help you away? Why can't you just accept that you're hurting, and accept that you need help?"

Kousei's expression was masked by shadow. He loomed over her with his large stature. She gulped, but held her ground.

"Because this is something no one will be able to help with." Kousei at last whispered. "You think that this is just some issue that will be fixed if people fawn over me and talk with me and try to understand when I know they can't? You think I'm pushing people away for no reason? There _is_ a reason. My sadness is my own. Your trying to share it, to alleviate it, to make it go away, isn't going to do anything. _Nothing_ will help. It's too late for that."

He stepped for the back door. "Thanks for the hoodie." He threw it off and left.

And Tsubaki just stood there, watching him go.

.

 **Finally, Chapter 4. Sorry it took so long with this one, guys. A lot of stuff was happening in my life recently, and I found it hard to write. But I got it done before the month was out, so, here you go!**

 **Please comment and tell me what you think of the story. I really appreciate your opinion!**

 **Otherwise, until next time!**


	5. Chapter 5: Shattered

Emi groaned. Mondays were always horrible for her. She was a plenty competent worker, of course (she'd have been fired long ago if she wasn't) but it was always a struggle to keep her exhaustion invisible to co-workers at the start of each week. Though her fingers clacked away at the keyboard efficiently, and though she put up an organized, focused expression for her boss, Emi couldn't help but feel utterly awful as her eyelids continued to droop on her and her yawns became ever more frequent. Still, she got her work done. She was nothing if not committed to her job. The cold distance that had recently formed between her and Kousei would not ruin her focus.

Still, Emi found her thoughts continue to drift back to him. As she almost absent-mindedly tapped the keys before her, flashbacks of this morning appeared in Emi's mind. Kousei had come back late in the night, apparently. Emi had had no idea where he'd gone or why he'd suddenly returned, but she received not even a hint of a good morning the next day. Of course, she hadn't exactly sensed malice or animosity from him; that just wasn't who Kousei was. On the contrary, he had seemed almost sad for _her_ , as though she'd messed up in some way and he felt pity for her. Still, neither of them had spoken a word to one another. It left even now a horrid feeling in the pit of Emi's stomach. Sure, Nagi was to blame for spilling the beans (though, granted, she'd been drunk), but it had been Emi who'd gone so far as to snoop in Kousei's private life. Good intentions or not, had that been wrong of her?

 _Well, no use obsessing over it right now,_ Emi thought, trying to push away the worrisome thoughts. She had work to do, and do it she would. Focusing single-mindedly on the keyboard and computer before her, Emi's fingers went wild, filling out lines of code. In a strange way, it was almost like her piano days. Perhaps that was why she retained what skill she did. Her fingers danced across the keys of the keyboard much like the keys of a piano; her mind was so focused on the task at hand, much like the music she'd once practiced for hours on end. Was that why she'd gone for this job? Surely she couldn't have known there would be such similarities between the two. Perhaps this was the universe playing a cruel joke on her.

As Emi's thoughts filled her head and the clicking of keys filled her ears, a figure approached from the side. Well, less approached and more leaned over from his seat beside her.

"You doing alright, Igawa?" Tominaga asked from beside her, his mildly irritating voice cutting through both the razor sharp focus Emi had been mastering and the rambling tangents her mind had been creating.

She shot a somewhat annoyed glance at her co-worker, her fingers pausing and hovering over the next keys to be hit. "Yeah, I'm alright. Why wouldn't I be alright?"

Tominaga gave his trademark, noncommittal shrug, slipping back into his slouching posture. "I dunno. You just seem kind of unfocused today. Plus, you've got major lines under your eyes. You sure you got enough sleep last night?"

Emi sighed. The answer was no, but she wasn't telling him that. Though Tominaga was her sort of friend, she didn't need him knowing every detail of her life. Of course, Emi wasn't about to shout at him irately. In a professional environment, you had to keep things professional.

"I'm good. I'll just take a nap when I get home. It's no big deal, really." Emi gave him a dismissive wave, and her fingers restarted.

A bell rang out through the PA above them. _Ah,_ Emi thought. Lunch time. Perhaps she could get a bit of rest in during the brief period of time. Letting a small sigh escape her lips, Emi stood up and joined the trickle of other office workers heading for the lunch room. Just in front of her, Tominaga walked with nonchalance, humming a small tune. Man, why did he always seem to never have a care in the world?

Emi sighed, and arrived at the lunch room, a small area with several lengthy tables and chairs set up. Already people were filling them up. Emi's typical spot, right on the end of the second table from the front, waited vacant before her, as though inviting her to sit. She settled into it, and pulled out the small something she'd quickly put together earlier this morning. There wasn't much to the meal, but she hadn't really been thinking about that at the time.

Tominaga soon joined her as usual, casually pulling out some instant ramen. Emi rolled her eyes discretely at the choice; she wasn't picky, but he could be a bit more healthy than that, couldn't he?

"So," Tominaga began, jumping into small talk easily, "Got any interesting stories to tell, Igawa? Anything crazy happen over the weekend? Maybe you and the girls got stupid drunk or something?" He winked at her, giving her arm a light nudge with his elbow.

She rolled her eyes again, this time making it more obvious. "I thought I made it clear I don't like talking about my personal life. You and I are just co-workers, albeit more friendly co-workers than some others."

Tominaga pouted somewhat. "Oh, come on. I tell you about my life all the time! The least you could do is return the favour."

Emi frowned. "That's your choice; I didn't ask for your strangely detailed explanations about your MMO guilds."

He gave an over-exaggerated grimace, as though the words had physically hurt him. "Damn, Igawa! Harsh. I just like to make small talk. Nothing wrong with that, right?" He was met with an unimpressed glare. "Huh. You really are in a bad mood. What's got you so riled up, anyway?"

"Didn't I just tell you I don't like talking about my personal life?" She responded irately.

"Ooh, so it's something _personal_ ," Tominaga wiggled his eyebrows playfully. "Boyfriend troubles? Or maybe...a scandalous office romance?"

"Wha—no, you idiot!" Emi cried in irritation. "It's just some personal issues I'm dealing with right now. Nothing I'm gonna explain to you. It'd probably take too long, anyway."

Tominaga at last seemed to relent. "Fine," he shrugged, "I can see I'm not getting to you today, either. You know, one of these days I'm gonna get you to tell me something embarrassingly personal, Igawa. Then I'll dangle it over your head for as long as I can!"

She gave him a light punch.

Tominaga just chuckled. "Alright, alright, I'm dropping the issue. You're probably waiting for me to get into my 'strangely detailed explanations', right? Fine, here we go. So I got home last Friday, right? Totally exhausted from work and all. So I hop onto my computer and check on the guild, but no one was there, which I thought was really weird..."

Emi's eyes simply gazed off into space as he rambled on, her focus slipping and her interest, as usual, waning. Unusually, though, she kind of wanted to be distracted by his dumb stories. At least it would let her forget about her current problems. But no matter how hard she was trying, the issue kept returning to her. The betrayal in Kousei's eyes haunted her, and the cold distance between them that morning was now unbearable. She hadn't wanted to hurt Kousei, but with his obsession over someone long dead, he was just hurting himself. What else was she supposed to do if her friend was suffering?

Even despite all the logical reasoning, though, Emi couldn't help but feel like the bad guy, or that she'd screwed up big time somehow. Kousei was hurting, and the last thing he needed was the betrayal of trust of one of his closest friends.

"Hey, you're not even paying attention," Tominaga said, interrupting her thoughts with a dissatisfied frown. "Usually you sprinkle in your derisive commentary, but you're not saying anything. Something's definitely up."

Emi shot him a glare. "Listen, didn't I already tell you—"

"That you don't talk about your personal life, I know," Tominaga sighed. "Clearly this is a big deal for you, whatever it is, because you're usually so attentive. Now, I'm no counsellor or anything, but if it's really that important to you, then it's probably not actually that bad. Just talk it out, get your feelings across, and everything will be fine." He gave her an encouraging wink.

Emi blinked. "Wow, Tominaga. You're not usually _that_ observant. What happened?"

Tominaga just chuckled. "Come on, Igawa! I'm always that observant. I just keep most of my observations to myself, so I don't weird people out or anything." He put on a proud smile.

Emi snorted, but continued to think. Was Tominaga right? Was she just overthinking everything? Was Kousei perhaps not actually as angry about it as she thought him to be? The way he'd stormed out, and then all but avoided her that morning...it had completely seemed like that was the case...but maybe her mind was overinflating some parts of her memory to fit her perception. Kousei was an incredibly understanding person, after all.

Still, a part of Emi couldn't help but remain doubtful. It was going to keep eating her up all day if this went on, dammit! She groaned internally, and both hoped for and dreaded the return home. It would either confirm or deny Tominaga's advice.

The rest of the day went by both very quickly and unbearably slowly. Emi did her best to work during the hours, and managed to things done, though not nearly at the rate she would have liked. Her pessimistic thoughts continued to permeate her mind, but luckily Tominaga, seeming to notice this, kept rambling on about his strange stories, making sure to keep them at a low volume so he wouldn't be noticed. Still, it wasn't enough. By the time she got in her car to drive home, it felt like there was a horrible rock at the bottom of Emi's stomach. Her heart beating faster and her mind making up possibilities for what'd happen once she arrived, Emi headed for her apartment.

At last, she parked just outside her apartment, and knocked on the door. Standing there, waiting in agony, Emi eventually realized no one was coming. She pulled out her key, unlocked it, and went inside. Glancing around, sure enough, no one was home. Emi frowned, and closed the door behind her, pulling off her heels. Her eyes then caught a note on the island, and she sauntered over. Picking it up, she saw it was from Kousei.

"Ah, I see," she murmured to herself. "He's at a student's house, then?"

That was reasonable, of course. But Emi's ever worried mind began to race with the worst possibilities. Was Kousei just lying to avoid her? Even though that didn't seem terribly likely given who Kousei was, Emi still doubted and gave the theory pause. Who knew? Maybe his anger towards her was so potent he'd go this far out of his way to not see her.

Sighing, and attempting to avoid thinking about Kousei, Emi headed to the fridge, fully ready to gorge on snacks and enjoy a movie, or at least let it distract her. If Tominaga's lame stories weren't around anymore, then a cheap action flick would have to do.

Just as her hand was reaching for the fridge handle, though, a buzzing in Emi's pocket stopped her. She frowned, and pulled out her phone. Who was it this time?

The buzzing continued. Someone was _calling_ her? Emi checked the caller ID; who else but Nagi Aiza? Groaning, Emi reluctantly put the phone up to her ear.

"Hello, Emi Igawa speaking," she grumbled.

"Oh, so very formal," Nagi said with a chuckle. "That white collar job of yours is corrupting you, Emi."

"Why are you calling me, Nagi?" Emi asked with a disgruntled sigh. "You could have just as easily texted me. Then I could have at least pretended like I was unavailable for a while."

"Ouch." Nagi replied dully. "Whatever. I'm calling because Miss America wanted to hear our conversation."

Emi frowned confusedly. "Miss America? What...?"

"Tsubaki somehow got in touch with me and arranged for us to meet." Nagi explained. "I swear, the time I take out of my day for you guys...anyway, she and I are at her place. You're coming over, now. I'll text you the address. Don't keep me stuck with her much longer, got it?"

And with that, Nagi hung up.

Emi just blinked, somewhat dumbfounded. Man, Nagi was awfully assertive, wasn't she? Emi's phone buzzed, and what was ostensibly Tsubaki's address was displayed. Emi, shrugging and ultimately deciding she hadn't had anything else planned for the day, got into a more casual outfit, and then headed back out.

As she drove and thought about where she needed to go to get to Tsubaki's place, Emi's mind once again raced. Why on earth did Tsubaki want to meet with her and Emi? For some reason, Emi had gleaned that the reason would be more serious...but then, it was also entirely possible the brunette just wanted to hang out and acquaint herself with the two. Somehow, though, that didn't sit right with Emi. Though she didn't really know Tsubaki, something about the whole situation just gave Emi the feeling that this meeting would be less casual. And when had her gut been wrong?

Emi could certainly think of one time it had been right.

It took a bit or retracing; she wasn't too familiar with this part of town; but eventually, Emi made it to Tsubaki's new apartment. It looked pretty nice; a single story on the bottom floor, like Emi's own. Unlike Emi's, however, was the colour of the building; a painfully bright blue with blinding white trim. The darker shade that covered Emi's apartment worked just fine; why had Tsubaki gone for such an annoyingly vibrant shade?

Shaking her head, Emi sauntered up the walkway to the flashy apartment and knocked on the door. A moment layer, Tsubaki opened the door, her brown hair a tad messy and her clothing haphazard. It looked as though she'd just thrown something together, but, given the fact that she'd just gotten settled into this place, Emi couldn't blame her. She only wished _she'd_ had an excuse not to get dressed up.

"Ah, hello, Igawa!" Tsubaki said cheerfully, a bright smile on her face. Behind her, Nagi appeared, casually sipping something in a mug.

"Hey." Emi gave a small wave, before stepping inside and closing the door behind her. "Nice place."

"Thanks; I thought it was a pretty good deal for the price," Tsubaki said nonchalantly, guiding Emi deeper into the house.

Emi narrowed her eyes at the brunette. Hmm...had she been wrong, then? Was this really just a casual meeting meant for Tsubaki to get to know Nagi and Emi? The relaxed, cheerful attitude Tsubaki was putting on certainly made it seem that way.

Tsubaki, oblivious to Emi's ever present internal tangent, led her into what must have meant to be the living room; there were barely enough furnishings to make that fact obvious. At Tsubaki's gesture, Emi sat down on the couch, one of the only pieces of furniture there, and was soon joined by Nagi, still sipping what Emi could now tell was tea.

"Are you comfortable, Igawa?" Tsubaki asked as Emi settled. "Want some tea? Sorry, I don't exactly have very much food to offer, but..."

"I'm fine," Emi replied. She gave a glance to Nagi, but received nothing but an unreadable expression. Sighing, Emi simply decided to be blunt. "So, uh...why did you want to meet Nagi and I, anyway?"

The polite, cheerful expression on Tsubaki's face faltered, and the brunette sighed at the question. "Guess there wasn't any getting to it subtly, huh?" She slowly stepped towards the two women, standing between and facing them. "This probably doesn't come as a surprise to you by now, but I wanted to talk about Kousei."

Emi froze. What did that mean? Beside her, Nagi was smiling knowingly.

"Last night, Kousei came to my apartment," Tsubaki began. Emi blinked. Huh? To Tsubaki's? That's where he had gone? Tsubaki went on, paying Emi's confusion little mind. "He didn't give much of an explanation as to what had happened back at your apartment, but when I later pressed him, it seemed like he got mad after you tried to help him. I'm guessing, then, that you've seen the same problem in him that I'm seeing. He's sad, really sad, to the point of depression, about something. When I confronted him about it, he got really quiet and solemn, which is what I imagine happened with you. Now, I just wanted to get your opinions on him, since you two know him best."

Emi gaped. Tsubaki had already figured this out in just a few days? It had taken ages for Emi to realize all of this! This certainly testified to the strength of the bond between the two childhood friends, then. Emi glanced at Nagi beside her, who smirked.

"Observant, isn't she?" Nagi grinned.

"You figured all of this out already?" Emi at last asked.

"Yeah," Tsubaki replied, a tad sheepish. "You live with him, Igawa. And you, Nagi. You're one of the closest friends of his. What do you think about all of this?"

Emi frowned. "Well, I guess his childhood friend _would_ be on the list if people who should know the full story." She locked eyes with Tsubaki, and found resolve in hers. "Fine. I know this might sound strange coming out of the blue like this, but from what Nagi and I have found, Kousei is still deeply in love with Kaori Miyazono."

Tsubaki froze.

Nagi continued on. "Yeah. We investigated, and found out he'd been visiting her family's old bakery for some time, as well as her gravestone."

"It's really, really serious," Emi said gravely. "I can tell; it's eating him up inside. Each and every day he can't stop thinking about her. He won't date anyone, and even when he looks like he's happy I can tell it's just a façade. If this keeps up, I'm worried about what's going to happen to him."

Nagi sipped her tea again. "So, Tsubaki? Now that you've heard our views, what do you think?"

Tsubaki still stood frozen, her expression shocked and horrified and confused all at once. Her mouth opened and closed, as though she was trying to speak but couldn't find the words. Emi felt awful for having dumped all of this on her at once, but she'd asked for it.

Nagi, seeing Tsubaki wasn't answering, went on. "We've tried to come up with a plan to help him forget about her. Dating someone else will hopefully pull him out of this rut and allow him to move on, but he's stubborn about not dating, and plus, it's kind of hard to find the right person. The whole point of our plan is that the girl he dates will be a far cry from Kaori in terms of personality."

At last, Tsubaki seemed to find her voice. "H-Hold on...this all sounds like you're going behind his back. Like you're not telling him about your good intentions. Shouldn't he know the people close to him care?"

Emi frowned. "Well...I'd love to tell him, but Kousei...he's just far too stubborn for his own good. I know it. Already, after bringing it up, I've seen how he reacts. He doesn't realize how unhealthy it is. He just gets mad and pulls away. If we want to help him, we have to do it without him knowing. Otherwise he won't let us near him."

"You're wrong." Tsubaki said, the heat of anger entering her voice. "Don't you know anything about Kousei? He cares about his friends, and their opinions. He might pull away initially, but if you show him you just want to help, and reason with him, he'll totally come around. If you're so close to him, why are you hiding from him like he's some sort of animal?"

Emi's eyes narrowed at this sudden flare of emotions from Tsubaki. "Hold on, now. This is a delicate situation, alright? We can't just risk alienating him and inadvertently pushing him further southward. He needs light nudging."

Tsubaki shot her a glare. "What? _Nudging?_ That's what you think he needs? If that's really true, then you don't know Kousei at all. He's good, in his heart. And he's hurting. Who cares about being gentle at this crucial time?! If it's so bad, then you, as his friend, need to be willing to be there for him! To risk your relationship, to get in his face! You need to be bold, so he can actually realize what he's doing to himself! If you're not willing to do that, then how can you call yourself his friend?"

Nagi frowned. "Easy for you to say. It's not like you're risking all that much, in terms of relationships."

Tsubaki's expression was dangerous. "I used to think that our past meant nothing, too. But I've realized it's so much more than that. We're still friends, he and I. And I'm willing to put that friendship on the line if it means helping Kousei! If all you're willing go do is give him little 'nudges', then you're never going to help him!"

Her voice rang out through the room. The intensity of the moment passed, and all Emi could do was sit there in the face of Tsubaki's powerful words. Beside her, Nagi still had the courage to speak.

"Tsubaki...no offense, but I kind of thought you hated Kousei. That's what my brother told me, anyway, after he'd talked with Watari. What changed? Why are you suddenly so willing to do this for him?"

Tsubaki again froze, seeming to lose all of her earlier bravado. "Uh...I-I'm going to the bathroom real quick...sorry..."

And with that, she ran out of the room.

.

Tsubaki's heartrate began to quicken, her breathing now heavy. Why? Why were those words affecting her so much? All Nagi had asked was why she was suddenly so willing to help Kousei. A valid question, right? But...but she was right. Why _had_ Tsubaki undergone such a drastic change in perspective? All it had taken was one conversation with Kousei to turn Tsubaki one hundred and eighty degrees around. Now she was ready to risk their _friendship?_

But...such a change was possible. Tsubaki was sure Kousei's lovable personality and genuine kindness could turn anyone into an instant friend...save for maybe Takeshi. Tsubaki even already had an answer to Nagi's question: because Kousei was her friend.

 _Is that all?_

A part of Tsubaki seemed to nag her. Was that really all Tsubaki thought of Kousei? A friend? She'd certainly acted awfully suspiciously when he'd came over to her place in the middle of the night. It had almost been as though she was just a high schooler again...

No! Tsubaki shook her head insistently. She _wouldn't_ go back to that. Even if she'd abandoned her old grudge against Kousei, the promise she'd made to herself still stood. She would not let him have her heart again. If need be, she'd even cut herself off from him. Though things were alright right now, Tsubaki couldn't bear having a repeat of what happened last time...

Turing on the sink, she splashed her face with water, trying to steel her resolve. She was strong! These dumb thoughts were not going to distract her! She'd brought Igawa and Nagi here for a reason after all. And especially after the speech she'd delivered (though it had only been in the heat of the moment) she had to return looking resolved and determined.

At last mustering up the courage, Tsubaki stepped out of the bathroom and returned to the living room. There, Nagi and Igawa sat solemnly, neither person making eye contact or acknowledging Tsubaki's return. Igawa seemed particularly shaken, causing Tsubaki to freeze. Why had she been so confrontational earlier? Look how Igawa was reacting as a result! Gah! Why did Tsubaki always get caught up in the moment?

"Uh...listen, Igawa..." Tsubaki began hesitantly.

"It's fine," she responded immediately, though there didn't seem to be much conviction behind her words. "You're right...we should be more in his face about this...I was just being a coward..."

"Hold on," Nagi interjected assertively. "Not to disrespect your opinion, Tsubaki, but I'm not sure you really are right. Sure, there's the possibility that Kousei will ultimately realize the harm he's doing to himself if we get confrontational about it, but I believe that doing that will only cause him to grow more distant and closed off. If we want to actually do something to help him, it can be more potent, but definitely it should be without his explicit knowing."

"How can we?" Igawa said, sounding less and less optimistic. "You've already revealed to him we know about his obsession. He knows us; he knows we want to help him, especially with what I said. There'll be no subtlety to helping him, now. Tsubaki's right; we have to intervene more forcefully."

Nagi frowned. "I guess you have a point. He certainly knows we want to help him. But how are we supposed to do that, now?"

"It's not like we were ever truly helping," Igawa said grimly. "What were we doing to help him? Talking and teasing like we always do. We weren't doing _anything_."

Tsubaki gulped. Oh no, what had she done? In one fell swoop, she'd gone and crushed Igawa's hopes, leaving her to wallow in her failures. She was responsible! She had to do something!

Taking a step forward, Tsubaki tried to put on a determined expression to mask her nervousness. "You were helping! You were absolutely helping! You were helping just by being there beside him. That's all someone in his position could ask for. Doing nothing would be to ignore him, to let him become further and further entangled by his obsession. You were a friend, Igawa! And right now, that's what he needs more than anything! I...I know I wish I'd stayed his friend. I'm trying, but I'm not there yet. But you are! You can't let this destroy what you two have. And you especially can't let it ruin him. He needs you to be there for him!"

Silence befell them as Tsubaki finished her speech, breathing heavily and shaking slightly due to nerves. Before her, Igawa and Nagi gaped. Tsubaki could barely believe she'd delivered such a speech herself. Stumbling back, she collapsed against the wall, sliding down into a crumpled sitting position.

"Wow," Nagi at last breathed. "Who thought _you_ of all people would be able to give such an incredible speech, Tsubaki?" Without waiting for the response Tsubaki wasn't about to give, Nagi turned to Igawa. "You heard her. Be there for him, Emi!"

Igawa seemed to be slowly regaining her senses. "R-Right...yeah, you're right. I'm gonna help him one way or another. And the only way I can do that is by being there beside him."

Standing up with newfound confidence, Igawa strode for the exit, giving an absent-minded goodbye to the two ladies as she left.

"Well, she's certainly determined." Nagi remarked with a smirk, sipping from her tea again.

Tsubaki sighed in exhaustion, leaning the back of her head against the wall. "That took a lot out of me. I don't think I'm the same energetic youth I used to be. What happened to the days when chatting with people was easy?"

Nagi gave her a grin. "I don't know, but it's rare that I see that sort of reaction from Emi. She's always been the pessimistic type, so don't feel bad about her rather glum comments earlier. If anything, feel proud for eliciting that reaction. She's never that resolved. Of course, you've also brought up some internal issues of hers that she'll probably have to deal with. Still, a net positive, in my opinion."

Tsubaki frowned, unconvinced. "Do you think what I told her was true? I kind of got caught up in the moment. Maybe being by Kousei's side isn't what he needs. Maybe I'm giving her false hope."

Nagi sighed. "Geez, what am I, a relationship counsellor? And I thought I was supposed to be the younger one. Aren't you two supposed to have this sort of thing together?"

Tsubaki gave her a dry look.

Nagi chuckled. "Sorry. Listen, Tsubaki. Doubt is definitely not what Kousei needs out of his friends right now. I think you were right about the whole friendship thing. He needs support, but most importantly, he needs to know that his obsession isn't healthy. Thanks to my stupid self, we have no choice now but to be up front and personal about the issue. And if there's anyone who's those two things, it's Emi Igawa. Just leave it to her."

That made Tsubaki feel slightly better. Mustering a wan smile, she stood up shakily. "Thanks, Nagi. You're a good friend."

Nagi cracked a grim. "I don't know about that. Maybe I'm playing the ultimate prank by tricking you all into thinking I'm a nice person when in reality I'm a cynical nihilist."

"You kind of are one anyway," Tsubaki noted, striding over to join the blonde on the couch.

"I guess that's true," Nagi conceded. "Now, what do you say we kick back and enjoy ourselves for once? Leave all the depressing stuff to Emi, right?"

Tsubaki nodded along, but began to think again. Strangely, it wasn't about Kousei's issue. It was about Kousei himself. Nagi's simple, innocent question and the tangent it had brought up in Tsubaki's mind kept returning to her, replaying over and over again on repeat. Why had it affected her so? Though she didn't want to admit it, she could sense that Kousei was slowly regaining control on her heart. But Tsubaki had determinedly decided she wouldn't let him.

Still, saying and doing were two very different things. Sure, Tsubaki could tell herself she'd never fall for him again, but who knew if one day she'd find that he'd gone and crushed her heart all over again? Maybe it was best to avoid him again. Especially now, she could leave the tough stuff to Igawa...and try to forget about these traitorous feelings. She could still be friendly with him, but she wouldn't actively go seeking him out...she would try to live her life without making him a big part of it.

If she didn't do that, it'd be all over anyway.

.

Emi drove as fast as possible. It was irrational to go that speed, of course. There was no reason to be risking her life in a car accident, but Tsubaki's words had filled her up. She needed to go now, while confidence still flowed through her. That being said, there was no saying Kousei would even be back by the time Emi returned to the apartment. The time he got back always depended on when be left, something Emi was never around for. Still, Emi had to try.

Racing down the asphalt, Emi finally arrived at the apartment. Parking her car, getting out of it, and locking it all in the span of fifteen seconds, Emi rushed to the door, pulled out her key, unlocked it, and ran inside.

Inside, Kousei's larger form stood tall by the piano. A hand rested upon some of the higher notes, though his fingers didn't press any. He glanced over his shoulder at Emi, his expression unreadable, especially in the darker light of the apartment. Emi, breathing heavily, pulled off her coat and shoes and strode inside, hoping her confidence wouldn't wane now.

"Kousei!" She said, surprising herself at how loud and authoritative her voice was, despite how she really felt behind her big words. "You and I are having a talk. Right now."

Kousei simply stood there, as though she'd said nothing more than what the weather was going to be like. Avoiding her gaze, he responded slowly. "I know what this is about, Igawa...I don't want to talk about it."

Emi scowled, genuinely angry now. "Well, of course I know that, idiot! That's why it's called an intervention!"

"Intervention?" Kousei repeated, almost disbelieving. He met Emi's eyes now, and she recoiled as she saw the hurt in them. "What...what do you mean by that?"

Emi pushed ahead anyway. Tsubaki had been right; she was a coward. She couldn't let this stop her from helping Kousei. "Listen. I know everything. I know you're still in love with Kaori, I know you visit her family's bakery and her gravestone, and I know she's the reason you're so sad all the time, for all you do to try and hide it. You're hurting, Kousei. And I don't think you know it."

Silence befell them as Emi stood frozen, waiting for an answer, uncertain she wanted to know what he'd say next in the face of her words. Kousei's face was barely held back rage. Emi almost let out a gasp as she saw it form. Such anger...she'd never seen that in Kousei. His fists were clenched white, and she could see him shaking.

"Is...is that right?" He said through clenched teeth, anger all too present in his voice. "You know everything? You don't know anything! You don't know anything about what I suffer through! How _dare_ you say you can know even a hint of how I feel each and every day?!"

Emi trembled before Kousei's anger-fueled words. They were terrifying! Such rage...she'd never, ever seen Kousei like this before!

His rage somewhat spent, Kousei seemed to return to normal to some degree. He stumbled back, though his fists were still clenched. Seething, he strode past her. She couldn't bare to watch, though heard the sounds of him putting on his shoes and coat.

"Are you going to keep intervening, Igawa?"

Emi felt the words pierce her body like a javelin. "Yes," she breathed. "Because you're my friend."

"I see."

The door shut behind him.

Emi slumped limp on the floor, fallen on her knees. Tears—spurred on by either fear or regret or pain or some mixture or the three—threatened to flow from her eyes. Emi held them back, though, remembering Tsubaki's accusations. She would _not_ be a coward. Not anymore. Confrontation had been the only way. She'd known he'd react poorly. Still, for all the preparation she could have given herself, nothing could have readied her quite enough for how he'd responded. The terrifying image of Kousei towering over her, furious and spitting fiery words at her, still lingered in her brain, like the sun's afterimage.

Emi didn't know just how much time had passed—minutes, hours, who could have said—before her phone began to ring. She pulled it out of her pocket with a shaky hand, barely even registering what she was doing as the events that had previously unfolded replayed in her mind like some sort of sick horror film.

"Emi?" Nagi's voice greeted her. Ironic; Emi was now grateful to hear her comforting voice, while earlier she hadn't wanted to speak with her at all. She would have laughed about it if she hadn't also been struggling to deal with what had just happened.

Nagi brought her back to reality. "Uh...how did it go, then? Hopefully he was understanding. Did you explain to him Tsubaki and I were worried about him as well?"

Emi's lips moved, as though the only part of her body that seemed to know what to do. Her voice, however, refused to function, and it didn't matter anyway; Emi's brain couldn't put together words. Like an infant, she knelt there, trying desperately to communicate the war of emotions raging inside her. Where to even think to begin?

"E-Emi?" Nagi's hesitant voice came. "Are...are you there?"

It happened suddenly, or maybe it happened so discretely Emi herself didn't even realize. Whatever the case, Emi began to cry, tears flowing down her cheeks and sobs escaping her throat. Emotions poured out of her in the form of teardrops, and Emi knew she looked like a mess, crying and bawling with only Nagi to hear. She certainly felt a million times worse. She tried to recompose herself, tried to regain some semblance of dignity, tried to even say something to Nagi—but she couldn't. For how long Emi didn't know, but all of her feelings came pouring out of her in that moment.

Finally, she seemed to calm down. Had it been two minutes? Ten? An hour? Emi checked the call time; she'd been crying for a good eight minutes. Was Nagi even still there?

"Emi?" Nagi's surprisingly soft, soothing voice met Emi's ear.

"I..." Emi managed to choke out. "I'm s-sorry...I'm..."

"Don't be," Nagi said reassuringly. "Don't worry; Tsubaki and I are on our way."

Emi nodded, though she knew Nagi couldn't see. "D-D-Don't hang up...please..."

"Wouldn't think of it." Emi could practically see Nagi's smile before her in her kind words.

And so she waited. In the darkness of her apartment, some faint light remaining from the already set sun wafting through her window, Emi remained on her knees, tears leaking from her eyes and dripping on her pants, while Nagi generously stayed on the line, listening to Emi's faint, choking sobs. Strangely, the many thoughts that should have been whizzing about in her mind at that moment weren't; raw emotions simply poured out of her further.

Eventually, a knock came at the door. Emi somehow found the strength to get back to her feet, albeit shakily, and open the door. Nagi and Tsubaki stood there, the former holding her phone to her ear and looking concerned, the latter breathing heavily and looking scared. Emi stepped aside to let them in, finally starting to regain her senses.

No one said a word as Emi shut the door. Nagi cautiously flicked on the lights, glancing at Emi to see if that was acceptable, while Tsubaki, after sneaking a short glance around, stood to the side, letting a drained Emi drag her feet towards the couch, where she flopped exhausted down. Her eyes were dry now; it seemed she'd used up all her tears. Sadness still permeated her being, however, and Emi fought to keep from breaking into sobs again.

Hesitantly, Nagi took a seat across from Emi on the chair, her eyes wide and full of concern for her friend. Behind, Tsubaki had sauntered over to the electric piano, her expression unreadable, and began to drag her hands over the keys with a certain cautiousness that suggested she was afraid the instrument would crumble to dust with any amount of pressure. Realizing what she was doing with a sudden jolt, Tsubaki quickly sat down on the couch, a bit of a distance from Emi, eyeing her warily.

Silence continued to hang over the three. Finally, Nagi had the courage to speak.

"Emi, I'm...I'm sorry...this is all my fault. If I hadn't blurted out to Kousei what we'd seen, this never would have happened. I—"

"No, it's my fault," Tsubaki interrupted. "I was the one who talked you into confronting him. He wasn't ready for it; we should have waited...you were right, he wasn't ready for a full on intervention."

Emi shook her head, silencing the brunette. "No. I...this isn't any of our faults. I knew when I was heading over here to confront Kousei...I knew he wasn't going to react well. Clearly, knowing that still didn't help ready me in the end, but...but we knew this would happen. Kousei's been...corrupted. His obsession has caused him to lose reason, so...so we can't blame him, either. We...we have to help him, now, whether he likes it or not...we have to...to help...we have..."

Tsubaki set a gentle hand on Emi's shoulder, a soft, caring expression on her face. Across from her, Nagi gave a wan chuckle.

"Listen to yourself, Emi," Nagi said. "You're exhausted, physically, mentally, emotionally. Don't force yourself to keep going just for Kousei's sake. He needs the help, but it's not worth you overexerting yourself for him."

"Yeah," Tsubaki chimed in. "Leave things to us. We'll smack some sense into that lug." The brunette have an encouraging smile.

Emi tried to return it, but realized then that Nagi was right: she was really, _really_ tired. Collapsing further into the couch, she couldn't help but let out an audible groan, and it felt like her body was deflating. Nagi and Tsubaki shared sympathetic looks, before Nagi got up.

"Agh, this is all too much," the blonde cried, placing her hands on her hips. "Why don't we take a break, huh? Dealing with Kousei creates just a bit to much stress, I think, especially if Emi's any example."

Tsubaki frowned. "But hold on. Shouldn't we try and figure out where he is? He's undoubtedly going to be avoiding us from now on, which is going to make it pretty hard to intervene. Don't you think we should catch him now while he's just left?"

Nagi scowled, clearly unhappy to have her attempts at relaxing spoiled. "Well, honestly, where's he going to go? He doesn't have a place of his own, and certainly doesn't have the money to even get a hotel room for the night. He'll probably come crawling to the house of someone we know, maybe Watari, and we can catch him when the time comes." Nagi then clasped her hands together loudly. "But it's far too late for that tonight. I wanna sit back and have a few drinks."

Tsubaki paled. "Uh...are drinks really the best idea?"

"You always want to drink, Nagi," Emi mumbled, barely coherent.

Both Tsubaki and Nagi glanced at her, seeming surprised that she'd even talked. Emi felt somewhat surprised herself. Grinning, Nagi glanced around her. "Alright, then, where's the remote? You like movies, right, Emi? Why don't we put on something? You can even pick!"

Tsubaki nodded enthusiastically, eyeing Emi's still admittedly exhausted form. "That sounds nice. It can be like a girls' night!"

The two looked to Emi, waiting for her approval. Emi barely mustered an amused grin before inclining her head in concession to their request. Nagi's grin grew larger, while Tsubaki's eyes seemed to sparkle. In that moment, Emi felt a rare moment of joy. Even if everything else was terrible and saddening, at least she could make these two happy.

Tsubaki clapped her hands excitedly. "Ooh, I've never really done a girls' night before! This'll be fun!"

Nagi snorted, finally locating the remote. "I don't know about that. All we're going to be doing is watching a movie. If anyone's going to get anything out of that, it's Emi." The look on Nagi's face seemed to suggest that that was just fine with her.

"That's fine." Tsubaki replied. "I can enjoy the occasional movie. What've we got?"

"Well, let's see..." Nagi flicked on the TV.

As the two girls began to go through the various available movies, Emi felt her eyes drooping. All that crying, that enormous outburst of emotions, and to top it all off, Kousei leaving after his terrifying reaction; it had just been too much for Emi. She was barely staying conscious as it was. All her body wanted to do was fall into the veil of sleep, unfettered by the problems of reality, content within a magical dreamland. But Emi's mind could do nothing but race, now over the previous emotional overload and finally able to deal with what had happened with Kousei.

The image of him glaring at her, furious and hurt and sad and terrifying beyond anything Emi could have imagined of him still stuck in her mind, burnt behind her eyelids like a screensaver, haunting her. The gravity of his voice, shaking with rage and at an intensity she'd never heard from him before, rang in her ears, a constant loop repeating. The look in his eyes, indescribable beyond the raw emotions behind them, stung her harder, faster and deadlier than any blow to the head could have. In that moment, Kousei had become someone else, someone completely different, everything that Emi had been dreading of her confrontation with him. And to just return to his quiet, sombre self immediately after...it had all been so jarring.

Amidst the confusing, unanswerable questions whizzing around Emi's brain, one seemed to stick out from the rest: _What's going to happen between Kousei and me from now on?_ Even earlier that day, talking with Tominaga, Emi's pessimistic self had been doubting a return to normal with Kousei. But now? Now it seemed impossible! After that...how could things ever be normal again? Emi recalled days long past, of her, Kousei and Nagi, hanging out, buying drinks, chatting and teasing and laughing. Would those days ever return, now? Such normalcy now seemed so out of reach, like a distant daydream that could never be reality. Would she and Kousei ever get back what they had?

 _Damn you, Kousei!_ Emi thought, though her body remained limp on the couch. Why did he have to go and mess everything up? If he hadn't been so obsessed over a girl he hadn't even talked with in seven years, this never would have happened! And then, maybe all this trial and strife and pain and suffering...maybe it could all be avoided, and Emi and Kousei could live a normal life.

Distantly, as she made pitiful arguments against a man who couldn't even hear them, Emi registered that Nagi and Tsubaki had chosen a movie. The blonde, despite Tsubaki's weak protests, had gone and pulled out some drinks, handing one to a reluctant Tsubaki and quickly sipping one herself. The screen began to flash with the movie's opening scene, and Emi vaguely registered it as a cheesy, sappy romantic comedy. Emi had seen it a few times; the boy and the girl got together in the end, as though they'd always meant to be together. How optimistic. How unrealistic. Real life didn't act like that at all. People weren't happy in the end, relationships resulted in broken hearts and festering wounds, and any initial hopes at romance were quickly crushed by the overwhelming weight of the real world.

Why? Why was Emi having such pessimistic thoughts? Why did she always hole up and dwell on the worst whenever things got bad for her? Tsubaki had been right, completely and utterly. Emi was a coward. A coward, even in spite of having gone and done the right thing, and confronted Kousei. A coward because she knew that no matter whether they were able to find Kousei, Emi would never be able to muster up the courage to see him again. Shamefully, Emi knew she was weak. A coward, a pessimist, unable to work up her resolve and conquer all obstacles. She couldn't even bring herself to get up off the couch and head to her room, to ask Tsubaki and Nagi to head home, while putting on a fake smile and wishing them well.

How pitiful.

Sitting there, without the notice of either Tsubaki or Nagi, even in spite of how much she'd cried earlier, Emi began to sob again, quiet and cowardly and shamefully.

How pitiful indeed.

.

 **Hello, all! Boy, that was a kind of depressing chapter, wasn't it? Sorry to bring you all down. But that's kind of been a major theme of this whole fic, hasn't it? Oh well. Things will get better, eventually. At some point.**

 **Anyway, I don't have much to say, other than to ask you to make sure and leave a comment. I always appreciate hearing your thoughts, and constructive criticism is always welcomed.**

 **Other than that, until next time!**


	6. Chapter 6: What a Coward Must Do

"Why the hell am I here, anyway?" Takeshi angrily growled, sitting back in the chair and folding his arms with a sense of finality.

To Tsubaki's left, Nagi sighed exasperatedly, clearly fed up with her brother. Rolling up the magazine in her hands, she gave him a swift swat. "Because Kousei's our friend, and I know he's your friend, too, even if you refuse to say it out loud, Takeshi."

Takeshi shot his younger sister a glare. "Even if that were true, it doesn't change the facts. Kousei did this to himself. If he wants to go and isolate himself now, then he can do that. Once he's realized he's gone and ostracized himself from the rest of us, he'll just come crawling back here."

Tsubaki felt a flash of anger for Kousei shoot through her. She scowled at Takeshi. "It's not nearly that simple, Takeshi. He's in pain, and probably doesn't know what to do. As his friends, it's our job to come to his aid."

Takeshi returned the scowl. "Hey, just because—"

Another swift magazine swat from Nagi silenced Takeshi.

Off to the side, Watari's wife leaned in, her expression one of concern. "Um…well, I don't know the situation too well, but…what happened to his friend? The one he came to the party with? Shouldn't she be at this meeting as well?"

Tsubaki frowned. "She definitely _should_ be here. I think she was more affected by her encounter with him then she initially let on, though. Both Nagi and I have been trying to get in contact with her over the past couple of days, but so far Igawa's just been ignoring us."

"I'll try seeing her in person tomorrow," Nagi added. "No guarantees, but I can see how she's doing if she'll let me in."

Watari turned to Tsubaki, his posture hunched and his arms bent over his knees. "So…where is Kousei, then? I mean, do you have any hunches?"

Tsubaki frowned sadly. "Well, that's the thing…when I knew he'd left, I sort of assumed he'd just try to crash at your place, Watari…or even Takeshi's, if he got that desperate. But now…we have no idea where he's gone."

"He definitely doesn't have enough money to survive on his own, though," Nagi chimed in. "The question is, who did he go to?"

A pause drifted over the group. Eventually, Takeshi sat upright. "Homeless shelter?" He asked.

Watari's eyes narrowed. "Well…I guess it's not out of the question, but…I don't know; it just doesn't feel like something he'd do."

"Surely there's someone he'd have gone to that we're not thinking of…" Nagi said pensively.

"Would that Igawa person know?" Watari's wife asked. "She and him seemed close."

Tsubaki grimaced a bit. "I…suppose? They do live together, which counts for something, I guess…but even if she did know someone, we can't contact her, so until she responds, Igawa won't be helping us."

Another pause permeated the room. Tsubaki looked around, desperate for ideas. Around her, the others seemed just as lost and helpless as she was, each one unable to come up with anything. As she struggled to come up with a place Kousei might have gone to, Tsubaki's thoughts went out to him. He'd been her best friend for years, hadn't he? Surely that counted for something. Thinking hard, Tsubaki tried to go through her memories. There would be a clue in one of them, right?

Suddenly, interrupting her thoughts, Takeshi stood up angrily. "Rrgh, this is pissing me off. Sure, you might have it right that Kousei's at least sort of my friend, but I draw the line at this." Grumbling and growling to himself, Takeshi shambles over to one of the wall-sized windows of Watari's house and looked out it broodingly.

Nagi sighed. "What is it now, with you? Is it too much to help him?"

Takeshi turned around, leaning against the glass. "Kousei is pitiful. _This_ is pitiful. What kind of a self-respecting person runs away from all of their problems? No, he's taking the coward's way out. And if he wants to go and be a coward, then that's fine by me. But he won't be receiving any help from this guy if that's his choice." Takeshi jutted a thumb towards himself.

Tsubaki frowned. "Well…" She wasn't sure what to say to that. Takeshi wasn't strictly speaking wrong, although he wasn't being a terribly great friend all the same. Still, was she the only one who actually felt like reaching out to help Kousei?

"Do," she said at last, "do the rest of you feel this way?"

She looked around. No one seemed to be giving her any 'yes's, but at the same time, no one met her eyes, either.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed hers. Tsubaki turned beside her and saw Nagi, meeting her eyes with a determined gaze. "I love Kousei." Nagi said. "And I'm also his friend. I know that he's being irrational, and making poor decisions, but he's in a tough spot. I'm sure everyone's made the wrong choices when they've felt the world crashing in around them. Still, I think what Takeshi's saying has some truth to it. But we can't always live by that sort of thinking. We have to be kind and selfless. And right now, as Kousei's friends, that's what we really need to be, for him." Nagi, who'd begun to address the group, turned back to Tsubaki. "So no, I don't feel that way. Tsubaki, I'm with you." She gave her a smile.

Tsubaki felt herself returning it. She glanced at the others. Each one now seemed to have a determined, confident look on their face. Takeshi stood sheepishly outside them, avoiding their gazes.

Nagi sighed again. "Big brother, get over here and help us brainstorm ideas, okay?"

Takeshi scowled. "Fine! I'll help him. But I still don't think he deserves it." Still grumbling to himself, Takeshi stomped back over to his seat. "Not like my input's going to do much."

"But…we still don't have any clue where he could be, correct?" Watari's wife asked. "How are we supposed to go about finding him if not even his closest friends have any idea where to look for him?"

Tsubaki exchanged a look with Nagi. "Well…the thing is, despite having ultimately known Kousei a pretty long while, I haven't really been around for these past few years. I don't know what his life is like now, who he knows, what his daily routines are like. To be completely honest, I'll be of no help when it comes to trying to think of places he'd go."

"And, even despite my best efforts, I can't be around him all the time." Nagi added. "There's plenty to his life that I miss out on, what with my classes and his work. Neither Tsubaki nor I truly has a good idea of where he'll be."

Watari looked crestfallen. "So…we have no hope?"

Tsubaki sighed. "Well, I didn't say that. There's no guarantee she'll know, but I'd really like to get in contact with Emi Igawa. Out of all of us, she knows the current Kousei by far the best. They'd lived together for years before this incident. But, like we said, she's…"

"Not important right now," Nagi interjected. "Until I can get her out of her shell, we just need to keep trying on our own. So…instead if trying to think of where Kousei could be, how about we think of ways to maybe flush him out?"

Discussion was sparked at this, with Watari and Takeshi getting into a heated back-and-forth bouncing ideas around. While they talked vivaciously, Nagi subtly nudged Tsubaki's elbow with her own, and motioned towards the kitchen, a good distance away. Tsubaki caught her meaning, and the two quietly got up and headed over to the kitchen.

Inside, shrouded by the darkness of the evening sky, the moon reflected off the gorgeous counters easily. Tsubaki had never been in Watari's kitchen, but, just like the rest of his house, it was amazing, and unquestionably expensive.

While Tsubaki marveled, Nagi leaned her elbows casually against the far counter. "So…is Emi not responding to you, either?"

At her words, Tsubaki brought herself back to reality again. "Uh…no. I've tried texting her and calling her, but she hasn't responded to any of them. I don't know why; it's so bizarre. Why would she start to ignore us at this crucial time? Did that pep talk I gave her really not sink in?"

Nagi gave an awry smile. "Actually, I think that's exactly what happened."

Tsubaki frowned confusedly. "What…do you mean?"

"Well, I'd like to think I know Emi pretty well," Nagi began. "One thing that's certain about her: she's insecure. She's pessimistic, and always fears the worst of everything. Still, she tries to suppress those fears and keep things under control. Even when things look like they're going south, she'll hold steady and weather the storm until it passes, and usually, things will be better, then. But with all that's been happening…she cares for Kousei immensely. When she found out about his problem, it hit her pretty damn hard. I know; I saw it. So when this started to spiral into a breaking of the bond that they'd had, I think it took a pretty big mental and emotional toll on her. All her fears that she'd kept hidden below the surface came true, and she broke down, as we saw. She might have seemed somewhat better afterwards, but trust me; she's good at putting on appearances. All of this…it's caused her to go into a shutdown mode. Right now, I'm sure she's too scared to even talk to us."

Tsubaki frowned. "But…how are we supposed to do this without her? I…I hate to admit it, but even if we find him, I doubt we'll be able to help him without Igawa. She's close enough to him, even closer than I am, that she'd be able to convince him. We _need_ her."

Nagi looked unimpressed. "I'll grant you all but that last sentence, Tsubaki. Yes, Emi and Kousei are indeed very close, and with her help we very likely would convince him. But you're selling yourself short, Tsubaki. Sure, a few years might be missing from each other's lives, but you and Kousei still have a strong bond. I don't know how _you_ perceive your relationship right now, but it can't be anything meaningful, because you seem to think you wouldn't be able to convince Kousei to come back." Nagi met Tsubaki's eyes determinedly. "You're his _friend_ , Tsubaki. One of his best, even. Those years you two spent together haven't disappeared. So…don't forget about that speech you delivered to Emi, alright? You need to be his friend now, too."

Tsubaki gave a wan smile. "I…I guess I can try."

Nagi snorted. "We really need to work on your self-confidence."

"Heh, heh," Tsubaki scratched the back of her neck sheepishly. "Well, even if my relationship with Kousei _does_ mean as much as the one he has with Igawa, it won't matter until we find out where he is. I'd really like Igawa's input on all this. I really do think she'll give us the thought that'll lead us to him."

Nagi shrugged. "Listen, I said I'd check up on her tomorrow. What more do you want from me?"

Suddenly, the kitchen light was flicked on. Tsubaki turned around and saw Watari's wife standing there, looking inquisitive.

"What are you two up to in here?" She asked.

"Nothing," Nagi replied before Tsubaki could. "We were just having a more private chat, I guess. What have you guys managed to figure out?"

As she spoke, Nagi walked past Tsubaki for the living room where Takeshi and Watari still were, prompting Tsubaki to follow. The three returned to their seats while Watari's wife responded. "Nothing much, I'm afraid; only that we really don't know where he could be."

As Tsubaki sat down, an idea seemed to dawn on Takeshi. He sat forward, his hands crossed under his chin pensively.

"Have we…considered going to the police?" Takeshi proposed.

Watari glanced to the side uncertainly. "Well…I don't know if we'd have enough reason for them to get involved. He's not strictly speaking missing, he's just someplace we don't know of. Plus, I don't believe he's committed any crimes or anything."

"What about a private eye?" Takeshi asked.

As the two continued to talk, Tsubaki found her own mind wandering. Finding where Kousei was going to be hard, because they didn't know where he might have gone. But it wasn't like he was going to stay cooped up wherever he was all day, right? He'd have to go out eventually. And surely he wouldn't quit his job! Of course…trying to catch him at his job was basically impossible, as the location depended on the kid he was teaching. But…maybe he had some other place he routinely went to.

An idea forming in her brain, Tsubaki nudged Nagi's elbow with increasing excitement.

"What is it?" Nagi whispered.

"I think I might have an idea," Tsubaki grinned.

.

The glass slammed down hard against the tabletop, shaking the remaining drink that rested upon it. Emi groaned as she felt her face grow hot, and ignored the mildly incredulous look Tominaga was giving her across the booth. Ah, alcohol. Emi was beginning to share Nagi's love for it. When things were going horribly, horribly wrong in your life, you only needed to down a few drinks and forget about those problems. Grinning drunkenly, Emi gratefully took another swig from her glass.

"Wow," Tominaga muttered. "I didn't realize you…had such a passion for drinks, Igawa."

Emi wiped her mouth with her sleeve sloppily. "I don't. Well, except for wine. But that's not going to be enough right now."

Tominaga rested his cheek against his fist. "Yeah…so, why did you want to go drinking with me, Igawa? No offense, but you seem to like to keep your personal life and your work life separate. Whenever I've offered before, you've always refused. Why the sudden change of heart?"

Emi sighed. "Well, cause a lot of stuff is happening in my personal life right now that I'd rather not be thinking about, I guess."

Tominaga gave a wry grin. "Running away from your problems again, Igawa?"

Emi frowned. He definitely wasn't wrong. Emi knew full well what she was doing. A coward, that's what she was. Tragically, that revelation had come over her just a few days prior. But now, Emi fully accepted it. Maybe that was a terrible decision, and maybe Emi was a terrible person for so readily accepting her being a coward, but…well, it was just so much easier to do so than face the hardships waiting for her in the real world.

"Not gonna tell me what's on your mind?" Tominaga asked, taking a drink.

"Why should I?" Emi scowled at him. "You're only here so I can forget about what's on my mind."

"Ouch," he replied dryly. "You know, Igawa, you can't just drink your problems away. Well, I mean, I guess you can, but that's less solving them and more sweeping them under the rug. Getting drunk isn't going to help you fix things."

Emi glared at him. "What do you care?"

Tominaga shrugged nonchalantly. "I dunno…I think I have a bit of a natural inclination towards helping people. Plus, you're an interesting one, Igawa. In all the time I've known you, you've never seemed to have had any issues; you've always had everything under control. So…I don't know, I guess it's just kind of strange seeing you act so pathetically. I suppose you might say I want to see you be who you were."

"So you're calling me pathetic?" Emi growled.

He took another sip. "Well, yeah, but that's not what you should be focusing on. If I've got you pegged right, then focusing on that fact is only going to make things worse. You need to man up and face the music, Igawa. _That's_ what I'm telling you."

Emi grumbled incoherently under her breath, but didn't respond as she avoided Tominaga's gaze and took another sip. What he was saying definitely made sense; Emi knew that. But she'd given in to being a coward; she'd accepted it as who she was. That meant there was no going back. That also meant Tominaga was completely right in calling her pathetic. Emi just wished it still didn't hurt when he did.

"Why don't you," Emi at last spoke, "tell me about your dumb guild or whatever?" A distraction in the form of one of Tominaga's stories was just what Emi needed to take her mind off things.

Tominaga made his usual noncommittal shrug as he sloshed the drink in his cup around. "Nothing terribly interesting happened since last time. Plus, I still don't think all these distractions are good for you, Igawa. Running away, that's all you're doing. It's going to come back and haunt you one day."

Emi growled, and slammed an angry fist against the tabletop. "Dammit. You're supposed to be helping me forget, Tominaga."

Tominaga met her eyes dangerously. "I'm not going to enable you to forget, Igawa. If you're just going to use me to do that, then I'm just going to leave. Believe it or not, I _am_ your friend, and I _do_ want what's best for you. So how about you pick yourself up from that rut you're digging and try and fix your problems for once? Maybe I can even give you a hand."

Emi paused for a moment. Was…was he right? Had she made the wrong choice? Emi considered finding Kousei, and the talk that would or wouldn't ensue. An overwhelming fear came over her. No…she couldn't do that! She wasn't strong enough. Though she hated it, she was a coward through and through.

"No," Emi at last said, glaring at Tominaga. "I'm…I'm not strong enough. I can't."

Tominaga met her gaze for a few lengthy seconds, before he eventually broke into an exasperated sigh. "Fine, Igawa. You're stubborn, I'll give you that. Just in the wrong direction, it seems. If you want to wallow in your pit of shame like this, then be my guest. You can't say I didn't try to pull you out of it. But I'm not sticking around for any more of this. If you want to drink away your problems, you can count me out." He got up, and walked out of the booth. "I'm still your friend, Igawa," he called as he left, "but I won't be just another one of your distractions."

And so, Emi was left alone with her drink.

Alcohol was starting to addle her mind. Emi could feel anger towards Tominaga fight with a desire to have him here to help her. Why did he have to be such a good friend? How was she supposed to be a coward with a friend like Tominaga around? But…but no, this was Emi's fault. She knew that, deep down. She'd chosen this. How could she expect others to go along with such a decision? A coward's life was one of loneliness. Emi just had to live with that.

Stumbling out of the bar drunkenly, Emi tried to assume a gait that looked normal as her alcohol-affected body struggled to walk properly. The cold winter air made her shiver as she walked towards her car. Putting her hand on the handle, she almost got in before she realized she was far too drunk to be driving. Regret and embarrassment flooded over Emi as she internally beat herself up. What an idiot! How could she be so stupid? She'd always been used to having very little to drink whenever she and Nagi and Kousei had gone out, always being fine enough to drive. But she was alone now! Not even Tominaga was around to help. What was she going to do?

Dare she call someone and ask for a ride? Emi gave it some thought. No…she couldn't go to them. Otherwise, why was she avoiding them if she was just going to go back and rely on them? She was alone, now. There would be no help. Maybe she could sleep in her car over the night. Hopefully it wouldn't be too cold. Hopefully no one would try to break into it. Hopefully—

"Emi?"

A sudden voice caused Emi to turn her head suddenly. Who? There, just up along the sidewalk, a figure was distantly running full speed at her. What?

"Emi!" Oh, wait. It was Nagi. "Don't you dare run away from me! Stay right there!"

It was Nagi?!

Emi's feet sent her running before she even knew what was happening. Nagi was here?! How? Why? Did she know Emi would be going to this bar? Or was this another cruel trick the universe was deciding to play on her? All Emi knew was she had to keep running, had to keep hiding. She couldn't let herself be found, not now. Her breathing heavy, her head spinning, and a stich growing in her side, Emi desperately tried to run in both her awfully drunken state and heels.

Sure enough, she eventually fell.

Scrambling in the freezing snow to get back up, Emi was suddenly pinned down by Nagi. The blonde was surprisingly strong, and as Emi pathetically struggled, Nagi held her down with gritted teeth and a pained look in her eyes.

"Stop it!" Nagi cried as Emi continued to thrash and struggle. "Emi, just stop!"

"I have to…get away!" Emi's slurred thoughts escaped her lips in broken pieces. Damn! Since when was Nagi so strong?!

"Stop running away!" Nagi snapped. "At least stop running away from me! Am I not your friend?"

The words shook Emi. She stopped suddenly, and looked into Nagi's eyes. Tears were starting to form in them, and hurt was all over the blonde's face. Still, a certain measure of anger was present in Nagi's expression as she glared down at Emi.

"Why?" Nagi at last whispered. "Why are you constantly running from the people in your life that just want to help?"

Emi felt a sudden wash of shame pour over her. Was…was this what she'd been doing to Nagi? The raw concern on the blonde's face was too much for Emi. She had to say something, make it better somehow! "I…I got too drunk to drive my car…could you maybe drive me back to my apartment?" Huh? That wasn't what she'd wanted to say! Agh! Why did she always do these sorts of things?!

Nagi stared, dumbfounded, at Emi for a moment, seeming as unsure of how to react to that response as Emi was. Then, she broke into chuckling laughter, and embraced Emi into a warm hug.

"Damn you, Emi! I can't stay mad at you!" Nagi said through sobbing laughter. She eventually pulled away, and stood up. Extending a hand out to her, she helped Emi up with a kind smile. Emi felt it warm her up. In the presence of Nagi then, Emi realized just how much she missed being with her friends. Hesitantly, she met Nagi's gaze.

"Uh…sorry," Emi at last said, trying to articulate her feelings via an alcohol-addled brain. "I've been…pretty damn stupid, huh? I guess I…I thought that…well—"

Nagi pressed a finger to her lips with a wink and a grin. "Shh. I don't care. I'm just happy so long as you're not going to be avoiding me anymore." She paused. "You're not, right?"

Emi quickly nodded. She couldn't say for sure how truthful the response was, but for the moment she just wanted to have a friend to be with. Was…was this more cowardly behavior? Emi frowned internally. She couldn't even resolve herself to being alone, could she? She just had to go and lean on others yet again. Why was she always so pathetic? She couldn't even stand on her own two feet.

Breathing out a sigh of relief, Nagi took Emi's arm in hers and met her eyes with a smile. "Alright. Lead on, you drunken beauty, you! Where's your car?"

After struggling for a moment to recall, Emi eventually led Nagi to the spot where she'd parked it. The blonde, with some measure of excitement, hopped into the driver's seat had rubbed her hands together in anticipation.

"Ooh…it's been a while since I've actually driven! This'll be interesting!"

They took off, with Nagi driving fairly well as they headed for Emi's apartment. Nagi, newly invigorated ostensibly due to finally seeing Emi again, began laying on thick the small talk, bombarding Emi with all manner of questions. To her own dismay, Emi found herself getting caught up in the light conversation with Nagi.

What was she doing?! She was acting as though everything was normal! She had no right to just laugh and chat like nothing was wrong. Hadn't she just accepted the coward's path just minutes ago? She had to stay on it! To stray now would only make her seem more pathetic…but…perhaps that was fine. Right? After all, the path of least resistance would certainly fall under the coward's ideology. Maybe Emi could just let herself pretend things were fine, at least just this once…

"Huh? Wait, who's Tominaga?" Nagi asked, raising a brow at Emi as she broke through her train of thought.

Emi blinked. "Uh…what?" She hadn't been paying attention. Uh oh, had she said something in her drunken state she hadn't meant to?

"You just said, 'Tominaga totally just left me here and told me he wouldn't support me; ha, I'm so pathetic.' " Nagi gave her a somewhat unreadable look. "Emi, what the hell does that mean?"

Emi froze. "U-Uh…it's nothing. He's just a friend from work. We went drinking together."

Nagi stared with concern at Emi. "And he left you here?!"

"W-Well, yeah, but…" Emi trailed off.

Nagi glared down the road. "Well, whoever he is, I'm going to kill him! Leaving my friend all drunk by herself on a cold night like this? What an ass!"

"H-Hey!" Emi responded. "He was just thinking about what's best for me. He's a really nice guy! I think it just sort of slipped his mind that I'd be needing a ride back home."

Nagi shot her a grin. "Oh ho…a man from work who's 'a really nice guy', huh? A little office romance, Emi?" The blonde wiggled her eyebrows while Emi drunkenly stumbled over her words while trying to respond. "Well, actually, knowing you and how you deal with emotional stuff, it'd probably be more like an office crush or something, right?"

Emi finally managed to find her words, albeit slurred ones. "No! I strictly keep my work life and personal life separate! Tominaga's nice, but he's also too annoying for me to be interested in."

Nagi chuckled. "Ha, ha! Alright, alright, Emi. I was just teasing you."

Emi frowned, but said nothing in reply. A silence fell over them, with only the hum of the engine acting as background noise. In the relative silence, Emi noticed Nagi stealing furtive glances at her from across the car. Agh…she was probably still worried about her, huh? With all that had happened lately…she certainly was right to be worried. Emi herself knew she was doing worse for wear. Still, with how normal they were conversing now—Nagi being her usual, teasing self while Emi played the victim—Emi imagined Nagi was probably feeling a sense of hope: maybe things would turn out normal.

War still raged on inside of Emi, however, newly spurred by her recent interactions with Nagi. Who was she even deciding to be anymore? Emi had thought she was a coward now, which meant she had no right to friends. All she would end up doing was hurt them with her pathetic actions. Hell, that was probably what had happened with Tominaga. But now? Emi was now quickly finding herself forgetting about the burden she was supposed to be putting on herself. Now she was being all buddy-buddy with Nagi as though nothing was wrong! Augh! Why couldn't she make a decision? And was this still being cowardly? What sort of person was she, anyway?

"Listen," came the gentle sound of Nagi's voice from beside Emi. Looking over, Emi saw a somber expression on the blonde's face. As she spoke, Nagi's eyes remained on the road, never meeting Emi's. "I…know this might not be a good thing to bring up after I just found you, but…we're kind of having a bit of a problem. Uh, by we I mean Tsubaki, Watari, his wife, Takeshi and myself. I've tried texting you the details of some of the stuff we've been talking about already, but to sum it up, we have no idea where Kousei might have gone. We've gone over a bunch of ideas and shot a bunch of them down, we've gone to every location we can think of…Tsubaki has an idea that we're going to try out, but there's a pretty small chance it'll work." Nagi glanced at Emi. "Emi, we…we can't find him without you. You've been his closest friend for the past several years. You know him better than any of us. You're the key to finding him. And…well, I know you're scared of seeing him, and clearly you're under the impression you don't deserve to see us, but there are people who are really worried about him. And deep down, I know you are too. So…do you think you could lend a hand?"

Emi sat rigid in her seat, processing. They were really having that much trouble finding him? Emi would have assumed that Kousei, with such limited mobility, would have had only so many places to go, and they therefore would have found him pretty quickly. And now…they needed _her?_

"But…but how would I know?" Emi eventually said. "I mean, sure, I've lived with him for years now, but it's not like I saw him most of the time. You've probably spent just as much time with him as I have!"

Nagi cracked a smile. "I don't know about that. You give me too much credit."

Emi regarded her flatly. "Oh come on. You're the most observant person I know."

Nagi chuckled loudly. "Yeah, I know. Sheesh, Emi. Can't you at least let me try to be modest?" She paused, her smile fading somewhat. "Well…maybe you really won't end up coming up with anything. I can't predict the future or anything, after all. But…if you really care, won't you at least try to help?"

At that Emi couldn't meet Nagi's eyes. She did care, more than anyone; of that she was certain. But…hadn't she done enough damage already? If it hadn't been for her, maybe Kousei would be working through his issue right now instead of running away. "Well…if it's just finding him, I can help. I…I don't think I'm ready to meet him again just yet."

Nagi's hopeful expression seemed to falter slightly, but she covered it up with a laugh. "Well, we aren't there yet. We've still got go locate him, first. So…any ideas?"

While Nagi continued to drive—constantly looking over to glance at Emi's expression—Emi sat in thought, going over possibilities while trying to get into Kousei's head to figure out where he might have gone. Ideas popped up, and she would toss them at Nagi, who would usually come up with an explanation or a reason it wouldn't work. By the time they arrived at her apartment, Emi was feeling desperate, and like her friendship with Kousei really didn't mean much if she couldn't think of _anything_ new.

"Wait!" She at last gasped as she unlocked the door and went inside. "Surely…Kousei…he's still in love with her, right? And with things the way they are, he'd especially want to keep up his visits to her grave, right? So…what if we catch him while he's there! Or at the bakery!"

As Emi began to feel excited and scared at the same time about how real the possibility of now finding Kousei seemed, Nagi chuckled gleefully from behind.

"Wow…" she said as her laughter died down, "good job. Took you less time to come up with that one than it did Tsubaki, if it's any consolation."

Emi peered over her shoulder at Nagi, somewhat perturbed. "Wh—Tsubaki thought of that too?" The blonde nodded in response. "W-Well then why didn't you tell me that first?! I've been anxiously racking my brain this whole time and you'd already had the solution?"

Nagi shrugged. "I dunno. It's fun to watch you squirm. Plus," she added with a small, mischievous grin, "after avoiding me for the past while, I think you deserve a little payback."

Emi scowled, crossing her arms and grumbling under her breath in frustration. Finally, she calmed down and tried to regain some sense of a mature demeanor. "Fine. I suppose you're right. So…when are we going to try and ambush him, exactly?"

Grinning broadly, and rubbing her hands together excitedly, Nagi replied with a spark of vigor in her eyes. "Tomorrow. Saturday—your day off, yeah? Wear something nice, Emi—you don't want Kousei to see you dressing like a pig."

.

Outside, snow still caked the ground, symptomatic of the season; today's sun was particularly bright, however, and the sparkling glimmer of melting snow blinded Emi as she sat bored in Takeshi's car. All was quiet, and Emi felt somewhat vulnerable in the silence, as though her often tangential thoughts would attack her when there was nothing else to focus on. Luckily, a steady flow of warm air shot straight into her face from Takeshi's broken air conditioning, being enough of an irritation as to distract her. Squinting as the air continuously pestered her, Emi scanned the line of buildings across the street. Her eyes came to rest on the Miyazono bakery, and memories from her previous visit there flooded back.

Another gust of warm air sent both Emi's vision and attention away from the bakery and instead to Takeshi. The blond was tapping on his phone, playing what looked to be a dumb time-waster of a game.

"Could you turn off your air conditioning already?" Emi asked irately, at last breaking the silence.

Takeshi barely looked up. "It'll be cold if I do that."

Emi scowled. Well, Takeshi was never the type to give in. Sighing, she tried to turn the vent away from her, but found no matter where she oriented it, it still sent a stream at her. Trying to ignore it, she returned to scanning the street. Suddenly, causing her heart to jump, a person rounded the corner, but once again it turned out to be a random pedestrian. Man, if this was how she reacted to _almost_ seeing Kousei, how would she be when he actually appeared?

Trying to calm her nerves some, Emi sent a glare at Takeshi, who seemed fully absorbed in his phone. "Are you going to help me watch for Kousei or not, huh?"

Takeshi continued to tap away. "Nope. I'm only here because you need my car so Kousei doesn't realize we're here."

Emi struggled not to openly gape. "Really? Wow. Nagi told me you weren't a fan of trying to help find Kousei, but this is ridiculous. It's like you don't even care that's he's gone and ran away!"

Takeshi froze, a look of frustration on his face. Clicking off his phone, he turned and met Emi's gaze dangerously. "Listen. Kousei's an adult. If he 'ran away', then that's his choice. It's completely up to him whether or not he wants to be a fool, a coward, and an idiot. I don't care. I'm well past obsessing over him. This is the decision he made, and now he can live with the consequences for all I care. So no, I'm not exactly a 'fan' of helping him." With that, Takeshi sat back in his seat, his arms crossed.

Emi was taken aback. She spoke slowly. "I…but Kousei's hurting. He needs help. Don't you even want to help, as his friend? From the goodness of your heart, at least?"

Takeshi's glare persisted for a few seconds after Emi spoke, but eventually faded as Takeshi rubbed a hand over his face in exasperation. "Kousei…is my friend. I think I can say that he is, at least to some degree. We may have had our differences, and I might still have some problems with him today, but we get along fine enough. And so, as his friend, I think I'm correct in saying that this is not a simple case of someone needing help. _He_ did this to himself. I don't think anyone quite realizes that. Seven years?! Are you kidding me? There's no way he should still be stuck on her after seven years. No. He _wants_ to keep her alive. He wants to keep thinking about her, so much that it's dangerously unhealthy. He wants this. And trust me, he knows full well what he's doing to himself." Takeshi paused, sighing. "Kousei's my friend…but I want him to realize fully just what he's gotten himself into."

Silence once again pervaded the car. Emi sat there dumbfounded, her eyes still stuck on Takeshi, who was looking melancholically out the window. His words still tumbled around in her brain, ringing like an echo. Was that really how he saw things? Emi had never even considered such a perspective.

Breaking through her thoughts, Takeshi sighed loudly, leaning back in his seat and glancing at her. "But, uh…that's enough about what I think. Don't worry; I'm still gonna help find him. But right now…I'm worried about you. I've known you for long enough that I can tell when something's wrong. You were avoiding Nagi this past while, and you still seem a little on edge. What's going on?"

Emi froze. Should she tell him? She barely felt ready to tell _Nagi_ about her being a total coward. "I, uh…I guess I was just rattled after what happened with Kousei. Just kind of got to me, you know? Heh, heh…"

Takeshi looked at her dryly. "Fine. Don't tell me. I was just trying to get you to say it for yourself, but if you won't, then I'll have to be the one to bring it up: you're running away, Igawa. Not just from Kousei, although that's all too obvious from how tense you are right now. You're running away from the difficult path. You've always been like this. I'm certain that's why you stopped playing piano, right? To compete with Kousei…it was easier to let him do his thing, and back down. And now, you're taking the path of least resistance yet again. Why try to go after him when you know how hard it's going to be to talk to him again?" Takeshi sighed in frustration. "Honestly, Igawa…when are you going to actually face your fears?"

The words stabbed at Emi, piercing her with the harsh truth they conveyed. Unsure of how to respond, Emi stared dejectedly at Takeshi while her mouth formed words that wouldn't come out. How had he hit the nail so hard right on the head? Her cowardice…Emi had been attempting to accept it, as a part of her, an unfortunate aspect of herself she couldn't be rid of…but that was all just a farce. A cheap attempt to once again take the easy way out. Why? Why did she always do this? Why could she never seem to be brave for once?

Takeshi gave a chuckle. "I'm sorry…that was a bit rude. You're probably going through a lot right now, right? You clearly care about Kousei a lot, so this has gotta be killing you inside. I guess I just…I'm not sure. I'm mad at Kousei for various reasons, and I'm sort of mad at you for not being better. But I know that that's petty of me. Both of you are suffering through your own personal problems, and I know nobody's perfect. I guess my imperfection is reacting irrationally, huh?" He smiled want at her. "So, uh…I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to be dealing with confrontation from me right now."

Emi managed to force out a smile in return. "It's fine. I know I've been pretty bad as of late. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get back to normal so easily, but I'll definitely try." Determination flared in her eyes as she stared ahead. "These past few days, I was being cowardly. You're right; I was just taking the path of least resistance. Now…well, I guess I just have to try to be brave." Emi tried to put on a matching expression, and though the vow rang true within her, bravery was the last thing she was feeling in that moment as her eyes returned to the Miyazono bakery across the street and memories flooded back. She wanted to be brave, to not be a coward—but saying and doing were two very different things. Emi gulped. Would she yet be able to handle seeing Kousei again?

Suddenly, Emi's phone buzzed in her pocket. Shaking her head of her troublesome thoughts, Emi pulled it out, and saw Nagi had texted.

"Any word from Squad 2?" Takeshi asked with a grin.

Emi squinted at the message: "Hey so some policemen got mad at us for loitering around the cemetery so we ended up heading back to the bakery. If you haven't seen Kousei already then you might as well join us. The bread smells delicious!"

"Ah," Emi mumbled, lethargically showing the text to Takeshi.

"That's my sister for you," he grumbled. "Making decisions without asking us first. C'mon, let's go in."

Emi, somewhat reluctant, got out of the car after Takeshi and followed behind. The cold winter's air bit at her as her eyes darted from left to right anxiously, as though Kousei would pop out from behind a tree. All uneasy thoughts were momentarily driven from her mind however when the intense smell of freshly baked bread hit her nostrils and the cold winter air was replaced with the warm room temperature of the bakery. Emi glanced around, briefly recalling her prior visit to the Miyazono bakery, before catching sight of Tsubaki and Nagi. Tsubaki was glancing out the window nervously, while Nagi gave a casual wave at Emi and Takeshi.

"Hey, Emi," she greeted. "Didn't see anything, did you?"

Takeshi shook his head. "So I don't get a hello? Yeesh…I'm only your brother."

"Oh, stop whining," Nagi reprimanded. She turned again to Emi. "Hope he wasn't too bad. I know this whole Kousei situation's got him pretty moody." She leaned in close. "Pretty sure he's got a crush on him—"

"Not another word," Takeshi snapped, his hand dangerous on Nagi's shoulder.

While the blonde broke into a giggling fit and Takeshi rolled his eyes a bunch, Emi, still somewhat anxious as well as confused, stepped up to Tsubaki. "So…have you guys…talked to Miss Miyazono yet?"

Tsubaki didn't reply initially, seeming distracted. She finally realized she was being talked to, though, and hurriedly replied. "Oh! Uh…no, we just got here. But, uh…the bread…smells good?" She chuckled nervously. "Sorry. I haven't been here in years. I was just reminiscing about when…well, when she was alive. Before everything got complicated. After she died, I would visit this bakery often…just to see how her parents were doing, you know. They always seemed so sad whenever I'd come over. I guess now…now I only think of their expressions whenever I come here. Kind of makes it hard being here." She put on a resolute expression. "But I can't let sad things stop me. Especially not now."

Emi could only stare in wonder at the level of determination behind Tsubaki's eyes. How did she do it? Clearly there was some difficult stuff between her and Kousei…how did she manage to push all of that aside and go hard and strong after him? She was…everything Emi wanted to be.

Suddenly, from behind the counter, Miss Miyazono appeared, a light smile on her face. "Ah, welcome!" Freezing for a moment, she seemed to realize who she was looking at. "Ah…I remember you two. Welcome back!" She turned to Takeshi and Tsubaki. "Hmm…I'm afraid I don't know you two. Well, welcome anyhow!"

"Hey, ma'am." Nagi said with a nonchalant wave. "We were wondering if Kousei had come here at all recently?"

The woman frowned. "Oh…you mean that young man? I'm sorry…he hasn't visited this shop in several days. I just assumed he was sick or something…why? Aren't you all friends of his? Don't you know where he is?"

"It's kind of complicated," Nagi began with a small grimace. Before she could continue, however, the jingle of bells rang through the bakery as the door opened and cold air briefly flooded the entryway of the shop. Emi gave a curious passing glance over her shoulder at the newcomer. Then she froze, her eyes wide and a name instantly finding her lips.

"Seto!" Nagi and Emi cried at the same time.

Standing there before them, expression shocked and outfit frankly thrown together, was Hiroko Seto. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was slightly agape as her eyes darted from person to person. Then, just as it had seemed like all was stopped as everyone reacted, time restarted and Nagi and Emi ran excitedly up to Seto. Takeshi stood behind, his eyes wide with recognition, while Tsubaki remained confused.

"Seto! It's really you! You're really here!" Emi gasped in disbelief as she and Nagi surrounded the poor woman.

"Wow, you got kind of old-ish!" Nagi cried as she grabbed Seto's hand. "It's been way too long! Where have you been?"

They paused to let Seto react, though their expressions were full of barely contained excitement and awe. Seto seemed speechless, and her mouth worked as she tried to respond. Finally, her shoulders slumped and she let out a sigh. "Hoo, boy. Of all the days to run into you guys." Blinking, she waved her hands in front of her hastily. "N-Not that I'm not happy to see you again! Igawa! Nagi! How long has it been?"

"Well, well," Takeshi said, striding forward towards Seto. "Been a while, Seto."

Seto cracked a grin. "Ha, ha! Wow, Takeshi; look at you! All grown up!" She glanced at all of them. "Actually, you _all_ look grown up! Where did the years go?"

Tsubaki stepped up from the back, a confused expression on her face. "I'm sorry, but, uh…who is this?"

Nagi grinned. "Tsubaki, meet Hiroko Seto. She was mine and Kousei's tutor back when we were just kids. " Nagi turned back to Seto, an expression of glee still on her face. "Man…who'd have thought we'd run into you here and now, of all times?"

Seto laughed nervously. "Heh, heh, yeah…so what are you guys all doing here?"

Emi gave a long sigh. "We…well, maybe it's best not to spring everything on you at once." She paused, but saw a look of resolute expectation in Seto's eyes. Groaning, she began. "We…we were looking for Kousei. Some things happened, and he ran away from the apartment we both live in. We've been trying to find him for the past few days." She frowned. "You wouldn't…happen to know where he might be, would you, Seto?"

Seto froze awkwardly. "Uh…" Emi's scrutinizing gaze pierced her, and the older woman sighed. "Well, I guess there's no avoiding it, then." She looked Emi in the eyes. "Yeah. I know where he is."

.

 **Well there's the sixth one finally** _ **finally**_ **done. A big, big apology to all of you who've been waiting for so long for the next chapter. Things have been happening, and I haven't really had the time to write. I've been writing off and on for the past two months or so, and finally I finished. Again, sorry it took so long.**

 **Can't promise I'll be on top of things time-wise in the coming while but I'll definitely get to work on the next chapter for you all.**

 **Please stick around, and until next time!**


	7. Chapter 7: Exorcism

Tsubaki's eyes darted about her, searching nervously for others that might be in the shop. She didn't need judgement from other mall-goers; she was already beating herself up about even considering buying a dress as risqué as this one, with her body type. Luckily, it seemed she was the only weirdo buying clothes at ten at night in the mall. The only person around was the lady at the cash register, who kept shooting Tsubaki dirty looks.

"Miss, you know we're closing in five minutes, right?" The lady said, barely withholding her blatant irritation.

Tsubaki blushed. "R-Right…I know; I won't be long."

This didn't seem to quell the lady's contempt. Tsubaki, flustered, headed quickly for the dressing rooms, dress in hand. Slamming the door behind her, she frowned at the dress.

What was she doing? She stared longingly at the dress, and tried to imagine herself wearing it. In her head was a vexing, seductive woman, confident and beautiful, wearing Tsubaki's face. Groaning, Tsubaki shook her head. That wasn't her! That was just a fantasy. She wasn't that pretty. What was she thinking, wanting to even attempt wearing this dress?

Tsubaki sighed. She knew why…she knew full well why. Kousei…he was getting worse. Well, not him specifically, though that much was obviously true. No…Tsubaki's growing crush on him was returning in full force. It was starting to get really bad. She imagined him, showing off that lovable smile, giving her that kind, selfless look. Really, it was no wonder she was falling for him all over again…Tsubaki just wished it hadn't happened so soon. But…that was probably because she never had fallen _out_ of love with him. It must have always been there, in the back of her mind. She'd only put on the front of hatred to convince herself that she'd moved on, that she'd grown. But even with the little time she'd had to see him, he was starting to permeate her thoughts, and now especially more than ever.

That was no wonder. Kousei was hurting right now. As someone who cared deeply for him, of course Tsubaki's feelings would flare and she'd start to want to see him even more. And now? Well, now, after Kousei having been isolated from the rest of the group for several days, there was suddenly a chance to see him! Tsubaki's heart skipped a beat at the thought. Yes…as much as she didn't want to admit it, Tsubaki was now completely and totally in love with Kousei.

"I can't let that distract me, though!" Tsubaki thought, almost in retaliation. He was hurting, big time. Now was not the time to be seducing him with low cut dresses. He needed someone simply to be there, to help him through his issues. _That_ was the sort of person Tsubaki had to be, no matter how powerful her feelings were becoming.

A harsh knocking on the changing room door sent Tsubaki flinching. "Miss? Are you going to be long in there?"

Tsubaki took one more look at the dress. At last, she sighed. "No. I'll be right out." Reluctantly, she opened the door and walked out dejectedly. The lady kept boring holes into Tsubaki's head, clearly unimpressed. Grimacing, Tsubaki decided shopping at the mall at ten was probably a bad idea. Handing back the dress, she picked up the pace and left the store.

Her feet heading for the nearest exit, Tsubaki resolved herself to, at least for now, not think about Kousei. Glancing about the stores around her, she saw most were in the process of closing. Hmm…were any of them hiring? A job was still something Tsubaki needed. She could still survive off of what she had from America, but it wouldn't last forever.

A sudden jingle from her pocket caused Tsubaki to stop in her tracks. She pulled out her phone, and read the text: "This is Emi. We need to talk. Where are you?"

Tsubaki frowned. Since when did Igawa know her number? Perhaps Nagi had given it to her at some point. Tsubaki's fingers tapped out a quick reply. "Just leaving the mall. Where did you want to meet up?"

A few minutes passed while Tsubaki quickened her gait and made for the nearest exit before Igawa replied. "I'll pick you up in ten minutes. Stay just outside the north entrance."

Tsubaki cocked a brow. Well, that was awfully…strange. Ordering her to go to the north entrance and wait? Either Igawa didn't realize she was being a tad rude, or she was just in a hurry. Tsubaki sighed, and reluctantly changed course, making for the north entrance. What could Igawa have wanted to talk about? Probably about Kousei…he was the focus of everyone in their group right now. But…what specifically? There Tsubaki could only make guesses. Emi Igawa was still a big mystery to her. Some days, she was confident, competent, and amazing. Others she was breaking down in tears or avoiding everyone for unknown reasons. It was like two completely different people were constantly battling for control of her body. Tsubaki imagined it would be some time before she'd be able to figure out the inner workings of Igawa's brain.

Eventually, Tsubaki reached the north entrance. Exiting into a chilly winter atmosphere, she wrapped her arms around herself and leaned against the wall, trying to strike what she hoped was a casual pose. Glancing around, she remarked how dark it was. The night sky was certainly a lot darker when the moon wasn't out. Tsubaki craned her neck to look straight up. Ah…stars. Only around two or three, of course; she was in the city. But still…stars. They sort of…reminded her of her school days. Hanging out with Kousei and Watari, staying up way past their bedtimes, lying on the grass while they stared up at the starry sky. Those days were so…peaceful. At least, they felt peaceful now. Especially compared to the drama shaking up her life presently. Those school days with Kousei…why couldn't she just return to that time? Things were so much tougher now…

A car suddenly pulled up in front of Tsubaki. The window rolled down, and in the darkness Tsubaki could just make out the face of Emi Igawa.

"Hey," Igawa mumbled. "Sorry to do this out of the blue."

"Uh…it's fine." Tsubaki replied, tentatively rounding the car and getting into the passenger's seat. Once she'd closed the door, Igawa drove off, heading into the main road. Tsubaki awkwardly sat there, unsure of what to do. Uncertainty, she glanced at Igawa. A tired, somewhat sour expression sat on her face, amplified by the dark of night. Tsubaki's curiosity and hesitance were now at their height. What on earth could Igawa want? Had Tsubaki done something wrong?

Eventually, they were stopped at a red light. The hum of the drive was gone. An uncomfortable silence permeated the car, and Tsubaki waited anxiously for Igawa to lash out angrily.

"S-So," she began, trying to maybe soften the blow, "what…what did you want to talk to me about?"

Igawa's gaze was somewhat lost as she stared out the window. A pause preceded her eventual answer. "I…I'm not sure. I think…I think…well, I guess I'm still in the process of thinking. I know I want to talk with you, though. It's…it's about Kousei."

Tsubaki smiled wanly. "Well, I mean, I figured that much."

Igawa glanced at Tsubaki. "Do you mind if we hold off on talking, just for a bit? For one thing, I'm still gathering my thoughts. And I _do_ have a destination in mind."

Tsubaki shrugged. "Sure. Whatever you need, Igawa. I understand. Things have been tough for you recently. I'm happy to talk."

Igawa didn't say anything in response, though a light smile rested on her lips. The light went green, and off they went, with nothing but the peaceful hum of the drive to occupy their ears. Tsubaki, smiling without knowing particularly why, gazed out the window, watching the scenery flash by. No words were exchanged, though none were needed; the drive felt more like a period of stasis, a mutual understanding to wait before feelings were exchanged.

The car at some point stopped, and was turned off. Tsubaki's daydreaming thoughts disappeared as she glanced about them. They were parked on a residential street just beside a wide, open field stretching a good distance. Houses surrounded it on all sides. In one corner of the field a playground sat unused.

Igawa got out without a word, prompting Tsubaki to do the same, despite the various questions running through her brain. The dark-haired woman strode across the field with that same confident walk she always used, though, as Tsubaki noticed while she followed, somehow, knowing Igawa a bit better, it didn't feel completely assured. Rather, it was exactly the sort of walk one would expect to see of Emi Igawa: confident, but still very vulnerable beneath.

Eventually the two came to the playground. Igawa, still not speaking, sat down on one of the swings, clutching the chains in her hands and wistfully gazing into space, a thoughtful expression on her face. Tsubaki tentatively followed suit, and leaned forward to glance at Igawa. She gave her a prompting look.

"Sorry," Igawa said, becoming suddenly aware of her lack of explanation. "I…guess you must feel pretty lost."

Tsubaki chuckled. "Well, I definitely am curious why we're here."

Igawa smiled poignantly. She glanced around. "This used to be my favourite place to play when I was a young girl. Once my lessons were done, I would beg to come to this place, cause of the massive playground they had." Tsubaki shot a look at it; it certainly was large. "It was fun just to be able to run and climb and play, doing whatever I wanted, after all that regimented practising. As I grew up, I ended up never having the time to come out here anymore. That was fine; I wasn't all that athletic anyway. But I don't think I ever lost my love for this place. I'm not sure why…I guess…I guess there's just some part of me that recalls the good times I had here." Igawa leaned back in her swing. "I come here sometimes, even still, even now when I'm twenty-two. It helps me calm down, helps me think. I…guess you could call it my 'happy place', although that might sound a bit childish."

Tsubaki scrutinized her surroundings, trying to put a young Emi Igawa in them. "So…is that why we're here?"

Igawa suddenly gaze a long, loud groan. "Agh…honestly, I don't know. I think…" Igawa turned and locked eyes with Tsubaki. "I think I needed to have a talk with you. Coming here has helped me clear my thoughts a bit, I think." Igawa sighed. "So, Tsubaki…you're still in love with Kousei, right?"

Tsubaki flinched. "Hu—what?! Since when did you—I mean, how did you—I mean, what are you talking about?!"

Igawa chuckled. "Oh, Tsubaki. You crack me up sometimes." Desperately, Tsubaki sputtered, but Igawa wouldn't let her off so easy. "Come on. You didn't think I didn't know about your high school crush on him, did you?"

Tsubaki froze. How?! Had she been found out so easily? But she'd even tried to not let her feelings influence her actions so much! It had all been futile…? Groaning, Tsubaki hung her head. "Yeah. I love him. I think." She looked, meeting Igawa's gaze. "I hope it's just a fading, passing crush that doesn't mean anything. But…I'm starting to get worried. The feelings inside of me are only getting stronger each day, and plus, it didn't take long at all for me to go from hating him to falling right back in love with him in just a few days. It's like…the feelings I'd had for him were buried just below the surface, and he didn't have to do much at all to dig them back up. I guess I'd just convinced myself I'd hated him, huh?"

Igawa frowned. "I, uh…was actually confused about that. You reacted so horribly when you first saw him. Just…what happened to make you hate him so much?"

Tsubaki smiled bitterly. That, huh? "Heh…I guess I shouldn't say my hatred for him was superficial. It wasn't. Those feelings raged inside of me for months. But they were my feelings, not his. I can see that now. I don't blame him. If anyone, I blame myself. I was the one who started everything in the first place." Tsubaki looked upwards to the stars. The swing creaked as her weight shifted. "After high school…after I'd realized my crush for him…I got into the exchange program to go to America. I was really excited, but more than that, I was worried to tell Kousei. It was going to mean we'd be separated. At that time, my feelings were strong, but stronger was my fear of telling him how I really felt. I knew I ought to, sooner rather than later, so maybe we could be a couple for longer, before I had to go away. But I could never work up the courage to tell him. What if he rejected me? That was the only thing that ran through my mind every time I tried.

"Then, a few weeks before I was supposed to go away, I worked up enough courage to tell him. And…I don't know; I guess I expected him to be angry, or sad, or upset, or something. I wanted him to yell at me, to plead me not to go, to stay with him. And if not that extreme, then to at least try to dissuade me. At least to look sad. Something. So when…when I told him, and he gave me his usual smile, and congratulated me…I don't know. Something within me broke. He never outright rejected me, but that moment…it felt as bad as rejection. I didn't see him at any point after that, and when I actually went to America, we never ended up talking. I think I was waiting for him to call me and apologize, but he never did. That fact, mixed with the memory of the pseudo-rejection that came into my mind whenever I thought of his smile, just reinforced my resentment. By the time I came back…I wanted nothing to do with him." Tsubaki chuckled a hollow laugh. "It didn't help that he didn't seem to remember the incident in the slightest.

"But," Tsubaki shrugged as she leaned forward, "in the end, I can't blame him. He probably didn't see things the way I did at all. The only reason I perceived things the way I did was because of me feelings for him, so it makes sense that he didn't take it with the amount of weight that I did, considering he didn't have feelings for me. Well, still doesn't. Heh, heh." She kicked the ground idly. "My hatred for him was entirely my own. It came from my misinterpretations and my misguided feelings. And ultimately, its foundations were entirely based on me centering on one bad experience. Honestly, it's no wonder he wiped all that hate away when I came back." A fond smile grew on her lips. "Kousei is just…so…Kousei. How could I not fall in love all over again?"

In the nighttime gloom, Tsubaki couldn't quite read the expression on Igawa's face. She couldn't even imagine how the dark-haired woman might be reacting. How was one supposed to react to that information dump?

Eventually, Igawa spoke, her voice soft, barely audible. "But you…you don't worry, right? You don't worry that somehow, maybe he'll reject your feelings? Or that you won't always be together? Or that…that everything will eventually fall apart?"

Tsubaki lifted her head, eyes wide. "Igawa…"

Igawa chuckled bitterly. "Shit…that stuff that happened between you and Kousei before you left…I don't think I'd have been able to survive that."

Tsubaki twisted her body to face Igawa. "What…what are you…?"

"You're so incredible, Tsubaki." Igawa muttered. "You get right back up when life knocks you down. You don't worry about what might or might not happen. You don't care that maybe things won't work out. You're just…kind." She gave a small smile. "Sort of like Kousei. You two would be perfect for each other."

"Igawa, is this…is this why you were acting strangely before?"

Igawa scraped her feet against the ground, waving them idly back and forth. "I'm such a sorry person, Tsubaki. I get so fucking scared when even the slightest thing goes wrong. I cut myself off from everyone just because I was afraid of reaching out to Kousei again. I got so worried over a problem that wasn't even mine!" Groaning, she threw her face into her hands. "I'm a coward. A horrible, incurable coward. I act like my life is in control, but I fall apart so damn easily. That's why…I look up to you, Tsubaki. You truck on no matter what. You pushed to keep your friendship with Kousei alive. You more than anyone want to help him. You're willing to set your feelings aside for his sake. You…you're everything I wish I could be."

Tsubaki put a comforting hand on Igawa's shoulder. "But you can be that. You're strong, Igawa. That cowardice isn't a part of you. You have to push it out. Don't let it control you." She gave a grin. "And honestly, in the face of everything that's happened, I think your reactions were within reason."

Igawa smiled sadly, but said nothing. She stared down at her lap, her hands balled into fists there.

 _Got to cheer her up._ "You know," Tsubaki began, "it's funny you should say you wish you could be more like me. I was actually thinking that…well, that I wish I were more like _you_ , Igawa."

Igawa snorted. "Yeah? Why on earth would you want to be like me? I'm a wreck."

"Because you've got your life together. You know what you're doing, where you're going. You've got an amazing job making lots of money, in a big apartment, with a car! All I've got is the apartment, and I'll need to get a job soon to pay for it. Can't beg Watari for much longer." Tsubaki sighed. "Man, I wish I knew what I was doing. Where am I even going with my life?"

Igawa smiled. "I guess…everyone has their own problems, huh?"

Tsubaki laughed. "Exactly. So don't get so down about it!"

Distantly, a muffled police siren got louder before diminishing in volume at it zoomed away. Igawa fiddled with her hair. "So…when is it that you're meeting with Kousei?"

Tsubaki blinked. " _Me?_ I thought we were going together."

"But you're much better suited to handling him." Igawa said. "If he sees me, he's just going to be reminded of the last time he saw me, when we argued and he walked out on me. I'm pretty sure Seto hasn't told him about the meeting yet, which means he probably won't be willing to see us. You'd be perfect for calming him down and getting him to stay and talk."

Tsubaki frowned. Well, she did have a point, unfortunately. "I still think you should come. You wanna stop being a coward? Make up with him."

Igawa froze at that. Uh oh. Had she gone too far?

"You're…you're right." Igawa said shakily. "I can't keep running. It'll get me nowhere." She met Tsubaki's gaze determinedly. "So. When are we meeting him?"

Igawa's phone suddenly started to buzz in her pocket, over and over again. Flustered, she pulled it out, squinted at the name, then sighed. "Yes, Nagi?" She said, putting it to her ear.

Tsubaki, sitting right next to Igawa, could hear what Nagi was saying. "Ok, really big change of plan. Apparently Seto just let slip that she was arranging a meeting with Kousei. He got pissed, and stormed out. That was a few minutes ago. He was apparently heading north of Seto's place. She's still searching for him."

"What?" Igawa exclaimed.

"You'd better get your ass over there and search, considering you care about the guy so damn much. I'll tell everybody else. Go!"

Igawa put down the phone, staring blankly at the ground. Suddenly, she broke out of her shock. "I can't let him get away again! Come on, Tsubaki!"

Tsubaki quickly stood up with Igawa, and hurriedly followed behind the dark-haired woman in a fast jog. They made it back to Igawa's car, and with exhilarating speed Igawa turned the thing on, slid her seatbelt around her waist, and screeched off. Tsubaki's knuckles went white as she gripped the edges of her seat.

They zoomed off. As Igawa grittily swerved around corners, Tsubaki's mind raced. Kousei had ran off, again? She was almost starting to agree with Takeshi. Didn't he realize how petty he was being? Didn't he want to see them again? Wasn't it painful to cut himself off from his friends? It had certainly affected Igawa when she'd done it. Why didn't he ever realize what he was doing to himself?

"Damnit, damnit!" Igawa cursed, narrowly catching a yellow light. They headed for the area around where Seto lived; she'd given out her address to them before. "Kousei, you…idiot! Why do you always have to make things so difficult?"

Tsubaki could only stare in sympathy. She could hardly imagine how Igawa was feeling right now. _She_ was the one who'd gone through all the emotional stress. Now Kousei was pulling a stunt like this?!

Suddenly, movement outside caught her eye. Turning swiftly, Tsubaki pressed up against glass, heart rate quickening. "Look! There he is!"

Kousei indeed it was. Wearing a baggy winter coat and stomping away angrily, his tall figure created soft footprints in the falling snow. Behind, a disgruntled Seto yelled after him. They were a good way from her house…she'd chased him all the way out here?

Igawa instantly reacted, swerving and pulling an illegal u-turn. Tires screeching, the car pulled to a harsh stop right beside Kousei. Igawa threw the door open with fury, and got out, stomping her feet furiously before Kousei. He merely stared, eyes wide, unsure of how to react.

"I-Igawa…" He at last breathed.

A sharp slap to the face was her reply.

"You fucking moron!" Igawa growled. "I would have thought that staying at Seto's would have given you some time to think, and to realize you were wrong. But you didn't learn at all! So what? Now you're running again? Just because you're afraid of meeting us again?" She breathed in and out heavily. "I'm almost starting to agree with Takeshi. _Fuck_."

Seto, having caught up with them, standing up straight with anger plastered over her face. "Finally. So, Kousei? You bastard. Do you finally see what you've been doing to these poor girls? They've been through hell and back trying to find you and talk to you, you know. The least you could do is hear them out."

Kousei whipped around. "I—" he began, but seemed to think better of it. "Fine…" he at last said, face buried in his coat and eyes pointed angrily at the ground. "But Seto, it's unfair of you to assume they're the only ones who were hurting." He met Igawa's eyes. "And I have plenty to say about how damn presumptuous you're being."

Igawa recoiled, but held strong. Tsubaki felt anger course through her. How could Kousei say that? It felt like he was acting like a completely different person. Her fists clenched into balls.

"Let's go back to my place; it's freezing out here," Seto said, rubbing her arms vigorously. "Then, you'd better have something damn good to explain yourself, Kousei."

.

In all honesty, Emi hadn't expected her meeting with Kousei to go like this. She still couldn't believe she'd slapped him. Didn't she want to make up with him? To apologize to him? But…everyone's advice, and all of the things she had been working through lately…they all just bubbled over once she saw Kousei acting so childish. Why couldn't he be a rational adult for once?

Well, she supposed that was what he was doing now, agreeing to talk with them in a civilized manner. The three of them—she, Tsubaki, and Kousei—sat in Seto's living room, no one saying a word. Tsubaki shuffled uncomfortably beside Emi on the couch, while Kousei sat taciturn on the chair across from them. Tension permeated the atmosphere.

"So," Seto said, walking into the room wearing something warmer, "how about we get started."

No one said a word as Seto sat down tentatively on the remaining chair. Emi, drawing in a deep breath, prepared herself. She didn't care that it would hurt their relationship; she had to get out her feelings. She steeled herself, met Kousei's eyes, and opened her mouth.

"Why did you come see me, Igawa?"

Emi started. Huh? Didn't he realize she was trying to talk? "Uh…because you're my friend? And I care about you? Honestly…are we so far gone to you that it's so out of the question to want to check up on you, especially when you go and disappear like that?"

Kousei frowned, and stared into his lap. "I told you there was nothing wrong with me. You didn't need to be worried."

Suddenly, Tsubaki stood up violently, pointing and angry finger at Kousei. "I-I've had it! Kousei, don't you realize how much turmoil you've caused to everyone? You might think it's fine, but people have been worried sick about you!"

Guilt seemed to pang on Kousei's face. His brow furrowed again quickly. "That's on you guys. Did it not occur to you that maybe I was just taking some time for myself? That everything was fine, that I'd come back soon? I'm not that incapable."

"Then why didn't you text us?" Emi burst. "Say something? Mention you'd be back? You made me bawl my eyes out the night you left, you know!"

Shock hit Kousei and spread across his expression. "Wh…I…when I left, I thought it was obvious I'd be back. I…I didn't mean to make you c-cry. Obviously I can't survive without relying on you, Igawa. I just needed time alone. I…thought you knew that."

Anger boiled in Emi. "What? You left me with no explanation! You said goodbye! For all I knew, you were running away!" Tears threatened to form in Emi's eyes. She looked away.

Kousei glanced away, guilt flashing over his face. "I…I'm sorry. Once I'd left, I couldn't find the courage to text any of you. I know I should have, but it was too hard."

Tsubaki stared at him coldly. "Wow. You're a worse coward than Igawa."

Somehow, the comment made Emi chuckle. "Sh-she's right. Wow."

Kousei blanched. "Wh—hey!"

Seto interjected. "Alright. Why don't we let Kousei say what he has, before you bury him?"

Emi and Tsubaki nodded. Though anger coursed through her, Emi couldn't just let herself direct it all at Kousei at once. Besides, she hadn't heard his side of things.

Kousei sat forward. "You were worried about me before I left for Seto's. Why?"

Emi cocked an eyebrow. "I thought…I told you. I found out about your lingering feelings for Kaori, and was concerned they were becoming all you thought about. Me, and Nagi, and Tsubaki. We don't want you to become obsessed over her."

Kousei started to chuckle bitterly. He slapped a palm to his forehead. "Of course. You guys see it as an issue."

Emi glared at him. "Kousei. It _is_ an issue."

Kousei met her eyes with cold, deadly resolve, sending chills down her spine. "No, it isn't. You guys seem to think that this is a problem. I don't get why. I'm still in love with Kaori! Even now! Who cares? I'm still living my life, am I not? Nothing's changed from how they usually are. Only now you guys are getting on my case about something that isn't even an issue."

Tsubaki froze beside Emi. "You…idiot! Not an issue? _Not an issue?_ Kousei, don't you dare think that enough time has passed that I don't still know you. I've seen the face you make. The little gestures and expressions and things you say. You're depressed. You're depressed over her. You wish she was still here. Life isn't the same without her. It loses a bit of its spark. Your obsession made you run away from your friends! Did you even listen to the way you were speaking to Igawa? You were a different person! Your stubborn refusal to let go of her has torn your life apart, and you have the _gall_ to tell me it's not an issue?" Fuming, Tsubaki sat back in the couch, arms folded. "I don't like to swear, but fuck!"

Kousei stared at the floor, not meeting her eyes. "In that respect…in the respect that it's caused me to make some poor choices, it's an issue. But you don't see things from my perspective. Yes, life is grey without her. It has been ever since she died. But she's exactly the reason I still find life worth living. Whenever I think of her, imagine her, her behavior, her personality, her wonder-filled expression, her love for music, her every perfection and imperfection—it gives me life. It lifts me up as much as her absence brings me down. My favourite part of every day is going to bed, because it means I get to meet her in my dreams." Kousei lifted his head, meeting Emi's eyes, then Tsubaki's. "Can you honestly say you know how all of that feels? How it feels to be crushed every day knowing the love of your life is gone and will never come back? How it feels to know the only thing that will make the next day worth living is thinking about her?"

Tsubaki shrank in her seat, avoiding his gaze.

Emi interjected. "We don't need to know how it feels, Kousei, no matter how much you think we do. You're going to hate me for saying it, but you're a drunkard. You get drunk off Kaori, and loathe the moments she's not there to soothe your pain. You're addicted, and you think it's okay for you to keep using her as your high even when she's the reason you're feeling low. Have you thought that moving on from the thing that makes life feel awful might mean you can actually enjoy it, without needing her to make you feel better?"

Kousei sat back in his seat, glaring at the ground. "I—I can't…I can't do that. I've tried, Igawa. You think I haven't? When she died, I tried so damn hard to forget about her. Nothing worked. She plagued my life. After a while of trying, I gave up." He sighed. "A few years later, I tried again to let her go. I couldn't. Life didn't make sense without her. She'd become my everything. Now—now I—" He stopped, breathing in and out in frustration. "Now I know. I can't. I'll fall apart. Life without her is just…there's nothing for me. She's all I have left." He met Emi's eyes. Fear and sadness filled his gaze. "I can't let her go, Igawa."

Emi felt her reply fall short in her throat. How could she just shrug something like that off? Sure, it was true that he was only making his addiction to her worse, but he couldn't help it. Damn, if it was so bad he _couldn't_ stop himself, should she have even been mad at him in the first place?

Tsubaki replied as Emi failed to find the words. "But, Kousei…life can still have meaning to it, even without her. You have so much to fulfill and enrich your daily life! Don't you enjoy playing the piano? Don't you enjoy teaching those kids? And…you've still got us. Your friends. You can laugh with us, cry with us, tell us your fears and your hopes. And, maybe, if you give it a try…you could even find love again." She glanced away as she said that.

Tears started to well up in Kousei's eyes. He looked away, wiping them with his sleeve as Seto laid a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I…I want that, more than anything," he said, his words coming out choked. "I want to live a life worth living. I want it so much. But…even more than that, I'm afraid of leaving her. Of letting her go. What if…what if it turns out I can't? What if I've already gone too far?"

Emi stood up. "Then we'll be right there by your side. You don't have to do this alone, Kousei. You've been suffering for so long…let someone help you lessen the pain."

Tears began to stream down his cheeks. Emi felt her heart be tugged in every direction at once as she watched all of Kousei's fear, grief, pain and shame come flowing out in the form of sniffling sobs. He buried his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking as he silently cried. Emi, her body reacting almost automatically, knelt down and embraced him in a hug. As she held him, and as he let loose his darkest, most secretive feelings, Emi felt tears overflow from her own eyes. All the pain he'd suffered…grieving over the love of his life, for seven years, attaching to her like a lifeline. Emi couldn't even imagine what sorts of things he might have been feeling. All she knew was that he needed her right now, to be there.

A pair of arms wrapped around Emi and Kousei. Tsubaki, already crying waterfalls, squeezed the two of them tightly, soaking Emi's shoulder.

In that moment, in the dark, though not a single word was spoken, despite all the trouble and turmoil and trauma of the past week, despite a history of cowardice and a naturally pessimistic attitude, Emi knew, somehow, that at last, everything would be alright.

.

The night was frozen. A thin layer of snow blanketed the dead, yellow grass of the cemetery. Kousei flattened it beneath his boots as he trudged up the hill, heavy breath coming out like mist in the air, quickly disappearing. Behind him, Igawa, Emi and Seto climbed, no one saying a word. That was fine. He needed some quiet. To be honest, he was still scared out of his mind about all of this. For years _—years—_ Kaori had been everything he thought about. When he went shopping, he wished she was there to hold his hand. When he played piano, he wished she was playing the violin along with him.

When he was losing all hope, he wished she was there to provide it.

They were right. He knew they were right; he always had. Admitting it had been tough. As much as Kousei needed, wanted, _loved_ having Kaori as the biggest light in his life, he knew deep down she was also dragging him further and further down. Still, fear overcame him at the thought of letting her go. How could he, after how much she'd gotten him through?

"I have to," he whispered to himself, so soft only he could hear. "I can't keep doing this."

He stopped before Kaori. There she was. His high and his low, his light and his darkness, his hope and his despair.

He knelt down, shutting out the world.

"Hey," he whispered. "Hey, Kaori. It's me, Kousei. I…I just…" With a sudden start, he realized tears were forming in his eyes again. Sniffling, he hastily wiped them off. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry. You…you never would have wanted this to happen. Isn't that what you taught me? To not live in the shadow of my past? To get out there and live my life?" He chuckled, pressing his palm against his brow. "Look at me. I haven't learned at all. I'm such a coward. Couldn't muster up the courage to move on from you. Now look what happened. I pulled everyone else into my problems. But…" He smiled at her. "I'm going to be better. Not for you, not anymore. For me. For my friends. I won't keep hiding in you, no matter how easy it is. You taught me, didn't you? That there was so much more to life?" He stood up, a tear rolling down his cheek. "I don't think I've admitted to myself how good a life I've had. I have so much to be thankful for. I have a job doing what I love. I had friends that love me enough to chase me into the pit I dug for myself. Up until now, I've just focused on the hole your death left in me. And I…I guess I got scared that if I didn't keep pretending that hole was filled, I'd realize I had nothing left." He glanced over his shoulder. "I'm going to live my life, Kaori. More than live it. I'm going to thrive in it. And…and that means…that means I have to…" A sob broke through. Kousei felt the hot tears trace lines down his face. He sniffled. "That means I have to let you go."

Bending down on one knee, snow beginning to gently fall around him, Kousei took out a flower from his pocket. He kissed it softly. "I love you, Kaori." Smiling through tears, he set the flower down at the foot of the grave, and stood back up. "Goodbye."

He smiled one last time at the grave, before turning around and leaving Kaori forever.

.

The night was dark as the four stepped through the thin line of snow topping the sidewalk. Emi, shivering, kept throwing glances at Kousei, who walked ahead of her. She hadn't heard what he'd said to Kaori's grave, but she hoped more than anything it was goodbye. As her breath fogged in front of her while she walked, Emi wondered whether things would go back to normal now.

They soon arrived at Seto's car, which had been left parked in the cemetery parking lot. The four hopped in, no one saying a word. Try as she did, Emi still couldn't catch the expression on Kousei's face as he took shotgun, leaving Emi and Tsubaki to share the back.

It didn't take long before they arrived back at Seto's. Everyone got out of the car, and Emi and Kousei headed for Emi's car, parked just by the house.

Kousei froze suddenly, prompting Emi to stop. He turned, locking eyes with Seto. "Um…listen, Seto. I just wanted to say thank you. For everything, but especially for these last few days, and _especially_ for putting up with me. You didn't have to take me in, but you did."

Seto shrugged. "Don't mention it. I'm always willing to help, especially when it comes to stuff like this."

Tsubaki raised a brow. "So…Kousei just came to your place and crashed here?"

Seto nodded. "Basically, yeah. I mean, I wasn't completely compliant. I made sure to question him about everything. But I could see he was in need."

A flash of guilt and shame crossed over Kousei's face. He said nothing, looking away.

"Well, I'm just glad it's all over." Emi said. She eyed Tsubaki, who stood there silently. "You need a ride, Tsubaki?"

The brunette blinked, and shook her head. "Oh, no, that's fine. I was going to make my own way home anyway." She smiled.

Seto rolled her eyes. "Oh, I'll drive you. It's eleven at night." She motioned for Tsubaki to follow, not giving her the chance to refuse. As Tsubaki hurried to follow, she gave Emi and Kousei a quick wave goodbye, before hopping into Seto's car.

Emi turned to Kousei. Normally, she'd make some snappy remark. But in light if everything that had happened, she wasn't so sure she could bring herself to act like everything was like it had been. She stared wistfully at Kousei, who was gazing into the distance, ostensibly lost in thought.

Finally, he seemed to bring himself back to the present. "S-Sorry. We should probably get going now, huh?" He tried to smile, but stopped. Emi frowned. By this point, she'd figured out that smile of his. It wasn't real. Or, at least, mostly not real. It was a guise, a way to stop others from worrying about him. And now he couldn't do it. Did that mean he wasn't putting on a mask anymore? What would that even look like? A bad feeling churned in Emi's gut. Would he ever return to how she knew him before?

No one said another word. Emi, her head buzzing with thoughts, started for the car, prompting Kousei to follow. They both got in, slamming the doors shut. Emi started up the vehicle, and drove off, heading for her apartment. As she drove, she frequently stole furtive glances at Kousei beside her. He simply stared out the window, his eyes unfocused, staring into space.

Just what was going on in that man's head? After everything, Emi could only try to guess. He'd spent so long with this dichotomy that Kaori made up both sides of. It had ruined him. How could she expect him to pick up right where he'd left off, like nothing had changed? As much as Emi hated to admit it, the Kousei of before was likely gone, in one way or another. Or maybe he'd never existed in the first place, just a mask he put on for her. Either way, if he really had given up Kaori, he was going to be different.

Emi wondered when she'd see his genuine smile again.

She drove onward. The silence proved only to act as further fuel for Emi's thoughts, so she almost jumped when Kousei suddenly broke it.

"I'm sorry," he said. It was almost a whisper.

Emi blinked.

"I know…I know I've probably caused so much trouble over the last few days for everyone. I just…I just didn't know what to do, when you found out. Kaori was just…my hideaway. My place to feel better when her absence was making me feel lost…or when things were caving in around me. I guess…I guess I kind of went into a panic, when you guys found out. I didn't know what to do. Running away seemed like the only way to protect my safe place."

His voice broke. Emi looked at him. Kousei's mouth worked, trying to find the words. Finally, he sighed, slumping in his seat. "Thank you, Igawa. I don't think I've said thanks, yet. You…you did so much for my sake. So much more than you needed to. It's kind of incredible, really. I couldn't…I couldn't believe you'd chased after me as far as you did. I wouldn't have blamed you for giving up on me, after all the trouble I caused."

Emi hid her grimace. Dare she mention how she was too afraid to even consider seeing him again?

Kousei went on. "Heh…I know my behavior…it probably seems pretty irrational to you guys. If Takeshi found out about the paradoxical nature of my relationship with Kaori, he'd never let me hear the end of it. Why would I keep clinging to the exact thing that made me not want to keep going on? But I…I just—"

"Don't worry," Emi laughed. "Man. You must think we're heartless jerks. Well, maybe Takeshi is. Kousei…you think I wasn't listening, back there? I may not have lived it, but I could _feel_ the emotion in your voice, when you explained how you'd handled her death. You were closest to her. I understand. You got hit the hardest by her passing. Something like this…well, I won't say it's normal, but it's understandable." She smiled comfortingly at him. "You don't need to explain yourself, Kousei. Yes, what you did wasn't healthy—but we're your friends. We don't care about any of that. So don't feel like you're in our debt or anything. I mean, if the Kousei I've lived with for all this time was any bit real, then I'm sure you'd have done the same for us."

Kousei smiled. "You know, I always thought I was putting on a mask for everyone. And I was, but…that part of me—the kindness—that always felt _real_. Felt true. Like I was being myself in that moment. Maybe that's why I made it this long."

Silence fell over them. Emi felt her heart sink as they neared her apartment. She hadn't been paying it much mind up until now…but she wondered. If they hadn't intervened, would Kousei really have…have killed himself? She gave a nervous glance at him.

"I talked with her," he whispered. Emi felt her heart stop. "I don't know if you heard. I kind of hope you didn't. I don't think…I don't think I want anybody to hear that. But you were probably worried about what I said to her. I thought you should know. You deserve that, at least." He sighed, pausing, watching the incoming traffic zoom by.

"I said goodbye."

They stopped, in front of the apartment.

"For the last time."

The car turned off.

"I've…I've let her go." Kousei cradled his face in one hand, tears falling from his cheeks. "Holy shit…I let her go. She's gone. She's never coming back. I'll never have her again. It's over. I…" He broke off, sobs escaping his throat.

And Emi, not knowing how else to help him, embraced him in a hug, tears threatening to flow down her cheeks as well as she held his crying, shaking, breaking form. Kousei let himself be held, as his shoulder shook with every sob. He kept murmuring the same words over and over, until it faded into indecipherable mumbling, and then into silence.

And he sighed into Emi, falling still at last.

.

 **Wowee. I did the chapter everyone. Took me like three months. Whoops.**

 **Yeah, again I have no excuse. I've just kind of given it to my laziness and lack of motivation, only writing on occasion. But these chapters are really big, so I'm sure it's worth the wait.**

 **Probably won't be going back to my monthly schedule anytime soon. Sorry. I hope you enjoy this one until the next, though. It's a big turning point for the series.**

 **No, this series is not done. I have more plans and ideas. We're just moving into a different stage of the story (one that might have nullified the title's relevance). I hope you all can tolerate my periods of inactivity, and I'll see you in like two to three months!**

 **Until next time!**


	8. Chapter 8: Resonating Harmony

Light shone through the gap in between the curtains, brightening the living room and managing to find Kousei's shut eyes as he jerked his head into its path in his sleep. Groaning, he forced himself to sit upright, eyes reluctant to open. Yawning widely, he wiped lingering drool off the side of his mouth and looked around. Igawa's apartment greeted him, the same as always, yet somehow completely different. No longer was this a place for him to sleep in, to dream in. It was his home. At least, it could be. Finally. He just had to figure out how to make it his home.

 _Or maybe you could try getting a place of your own,_ he thought idly to himself as he slid his legs off the couch and onto the floor. He did feel bad about living with Igawa and not paying any rent, but as much as he wanted to relieve her of the burden his residency placed on her, he simply didn't have the money to sustain himself.

Well, that was a problem for another day. For now, he had to decide whether be could live with his decision.

Standing up and stretching, he headed to the pantry to see if there was anything to eat. Had Igawa gotten rid of his favourite foods already? Well, it hadn't been that long. Grabbing a small something to snack on, he glanced at the clock: 10:30. He had to be at a kid's house soon, didn't he?

Wait, no. Today was young Nishida's day for lessons; for undisclosed reasons the boy couldn't use his own house for lessons, so he had to come to Igawa's apartment. Today, that would work fine. Kousei wasn't in much of a mood to spend an hour on public transit, after the ordeal from yesterday. A selfish part of him wished he still had the charitable Setou around to drive him to his students' lessons.

He sighed, and resolved to do a few hours of practicing before Nishida arrived. Turning on the electric piano, Kousei sat down and brushed the keys with his fingers. He closed his eyes, smiling as he felt the familiar bumps in between each key. The piano…even if he'd given up Kaori, this would still remain a constant in his life, something he could always rely on. A feeling of comfort overcame him as he launched into a piece, his fingers dancing across the keys with energetic vigour. His right hand did pirouettes about itself, graceful and elegant, while his left stomped on the keys of two octaves, asserting power. The piece built, and as Kousei reached its climax, he felt himself begin to float away, enveloped by the music. Almost as though he wasn't there…just him, the piano, the violin—

He froze. The comforting feeling of someplace else disappeared. Damn it…of course. She wasn't gone, not quite. He'd given her up, but she still lingered in places, like the stench after the garbage was already taken out. If he let himself, he could easily slip back into her.

He couldn't let that happen. He had to be strong, not let her rule his life. Igawa and Tsubaki had been brave, been strong. He had no right to waste their efforts by being weak. It would be hard to rid her from his mind, especially at first, but he could do it. He'd faced worse before, hadn't he?

Again, Kousei became one with the piano, feeling it. He didn't let himself slip into that place of relaxation, though. He played with purpose, with intent. His every motion was done with focus. He was the master, not her. He would not let her ghost taint this joyous part of his life. With renewed energy and resolve, Kousei played.

It was not until much later that he realized he'd been playing for over an hour. He blinked, almost not believing the clock. But no, it was accurate. Funny how music could burn through the hours like paper.

The doorbell rang suddenly. Kousei got up slowly, and went to the door, peeking through the peephole. Surprisingly, Nagi Aiza stood there, pulling at her ponytail anxiously.

He pulled open the door.

Nagi froze. Her mouth worked for a few seconds; she seemed to be in disbelief. Then, regaining the usual ardour he'd come to know of her, she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his torso.

"Kousei!"

He smiled. "Hey, Nagi."

She pulled away, grinning. Then she paused, and an angry scowl overcame her features. "Hold on. You're not off the hook! Kousei, you jerk! How could you run off like that? You had Emi and Tsubaki worried sick, not to mention me! You'd better have a damn good explanation!"

Kousei backed away. Normally, when confronted by Nagi, he'd just chuckle and give some vague excuse, and she'd move on, as she was quick to do with him. But now…now he couldn't. Nagi was hurt by him, he could see it. She _did_ deserve an explanation. And he had to stop putting on a façade. He could show the real him around her, couldn't he?

He closed the door behind her, motioning for her to hang up her coat before heading for the couch, all the while avoiding her gaze. Nagi didn't press, but followed him with worried eyes. Damn…she really loved him, didn't she? It made his heart ache. Would he gain feelings for anyone ever again? Maybe with Kaori gone, he could learn to love someone…but could it be Nagi?

He shook his head, and sat down on the couch, gesturing for Nagi to do the same. She sat beside him hesitantly, and looked into his eyes in concern.

"I'm…I'm sorry, Nagi. I think…I think I've been lost, this whole time. I got _really_ lost these past few days. I didn't know what to do, where to go. I…guess that doesn't really excuse my actions, does it?" He smiled melancholically. "I'm the worst. I've run away all my life. It just…made sense to run away some more. But I see now. Igawa and Tsubaki…they helped me figure things out.

"I've given Kaori up, Nagi. From now on, I live my own life." He managed to smile happily. Was that joy? That warm feeling within him. He hoped so. It had been so long…

Nagi said nothing, instead reaching over and clasping his hand with hers. "Oh…oh, Kousei…" She pulled him in and hugged him firmly. "You brave man…you're so courageous. Even to make that decision, to let her go. I…you're not the worst." She pulled back, smiling. "I mean, I wouldn't have fallen in love with the worst, now would I have?"

He chuckled at that…genuinely. "Nagi…what did I do to deserve you in my life?"

She blushed. "You're not…falling in love with me, are you? Because Emi and Tsubaki are way better for you. You should really pay more attention to them."

Kousei looked away. "Honestly, I'm not sure I'll be able to fall in love again. Kaori remains the only romantic love I've ever known. Can my heart even handle someone new? What if it takes years to heal completely? What if I never fall in love again?" He sighed, idly realizing he was voicing his fears to Nagi. "And what if I do fall in love again? Is that a bad idea? Will Kaori only seep back in? What if I'm only reminded of her whenever I look at my girlfriend's face? What if…she's the only love I get?"

Nagi stared blankly. Kousei grimaced. He probably shouldn't have been saying all this to Nagi. As insightful as she could often be, he still didn't want to overload her. He looked away, rubbing his neck awkwardly.

Eventually, she met his eyes. "So…you wouldn't consider a romantic relationship anytime soon?"

Kousei shrugged. "I honestly don't know. I guess I'd have to see how I feel once I need to consider that. But…to be frank, my heart's been through a lot. I think…down time is really what I need right now. Maybe eventually I'll be ready to love again, but for now, I need to…rest, I guess." He raised a brow at her. "You weren't…hoping to hook up with me, were you?"

Nagi chuckled. "Nah…I gave up on that long ago." She spoke wistfully. The words stung Kousei a little. But what could he do? He'd never seen Nagi as a potential romantic partner.

"Just…you're surrounded by girls, Kousei. Try to pay them the attention they deserve."

Kousei nodded. Igawa and Tsubaki had certainly done a lot for him, more than he could have ever imagined they would have. He felt grateful to them beyond words. At some point, he'd have to properly express that gratitude.

"The others are worried sick about you, you realize," Nagi said, frowning and folding her arms. "At some point you have to see them and explain."

Kousei nodded again. "Thanks for always being by my side, Nagi. I know you're a rock for everybody, and for me more than anyone. I just…want you to know that."

Nagi blushed, but smiled widely. "Heh, heh…I pride myself on it." The smile slowly faded as they sat there, until she regarded him again, with solemn eyes. "You…really are never going to feel the same way about me, are you? Not even with her gone?"

Kousei's heart broke. He shook his head, unable to meet her piercing gaze.

She sighed. "I know. But…well, you owe me this much."

Nagi planted a kiss on Kousei's cheek.

His face went red, and he absently felt the mark on his cheek as she smiled happily. Still grinning euphorically as Kousei shook himself into reality, Nagi skipped to the door.

"Thanks for letting me see you, Kousei!" She pulled open the door.

Kousei got to his feet. "You're leaving already?"

"I just…wanted to settle some things. Besides, you've got your student coming today, right? I don't want to keep you from preparing. Despite what some people might say, I think your job is deserving of the same time and effort spent anyplace else."

"Uh…th-thanks," he murmured. "I'll…see you later?"

She nodded, and blew him a kiss. "Bye!"

.

Emi gulped, her hands tightening around the handle of her purse. She stood in front of the door into the department where she and Tominaga worked, though her legs refused to work. She wasn't a coward anymore, right? She could do this! What was this confrontation compared to what she'd just done?

Ever since Tominaga had left her abandoned at that pub, things had been rocky between them. Each day at work, they would nod greetings to each other, but the idle banter they'd once shared was gone. But…now, Emi had conquered the cowardice within her, the very thing which drove Tominaga away. She had to show him now that she was better. She had to prove herself better!

N…no. That was wrong. She shouldn't be proving herself better. If Kousei had taught her anything, it was to not dwell on the past. For now, she should just mend things, and move on. Fix things. Like Kousei had done…or at least, was trying to do.

Taking a deep breath, she went in, and strode towards her desk, situated right behind Tominaga's. The tall man was already sat down, sipping coffee in between spurts of typing. He looked up as she approached, meeting her eyes with an unreadable expression. Nodding to her as she sat down, her returned to the keyboard.

"Hey, Tominaga," Emi began, unsure of where to start.

She glanced up at Tominaga. He merely stared at her, a hint of curiosity in his eyes. Damn…what an infuriating guy. Why was he making her feel so incapable? Hadn't she just slapped Kousei? Couldn't she handle this?

"Listen…I'm sorry. For acting the way I did. For treating you like you were just a distraction. You weren't. You're a friend. You always were. I…" she faltered as she met his gaze again. "I just…wanted to tell you that."

Dejected, Emi set down her purse and powered on her computer.

"So…I'm guessing you finally grew up a little, then?"

Emi looked up. Tominaga was grinning, as though nothing had happened.

"You…you're not mad at me?"

Tominaga laughed. "What? No! I just wanted you to grow up, to learn, to be better! I wanted to help you, in short. It's what I do best."

Emi digested that. So…did that mean they were back to normal, like nothing happened?

"You…aren't going to tell me exactly what had you in crisis mode, are you?" Tominaga asked, absently taking another sip of coffee.

Should she? In all honesty, Tominaga really _did_ seem like a big help. If he could give her advice when she got low, maybe she wouldn't end up so far gone next time. And besides, she tended to push people away when she didn't need to. No need to always put up a brave front. You had to be vulnerable with some people, didn't you?

She sighed, deciding not to think about it any further. "I, uh…my friend Kousei was having…issues. He lives with me, but he kind of ran away. He also…hit me really hard, emotionally speaking, right before he left. I kind of hid away after that." She looked away. "Sorry. Again."

Tominaga nodded slowly. Emi studied his expression, but as usual, could read nothing specific in it. All she could see for certain were the thoughts behind his eyes.

"So…" he eventually spoke again, "you and this Kousei…were you two romantically…involved?"

Emi started. "What? No! Why does everyone think that? We just live together. And we're friends."

Tominaga gave her a dry look.

She rolled her eyes. "Look, I know it seems like that, but it isn't. Tsubaki's the one who likes the guy. She can have him, for all I care."

"Oh? And who's Tsubaki?"

"His childhood friend," Emi replied, starting up her computer. "They're perfect for each other. He just has to realize he likes her, and they'll be obsessed with each other in a week, I guarantee."

Tominaga's fingers typed out a quick few lines before he returned to his coffee. After a long sip, he eyed Emi. "So Kousei wouldn't mind if I made a move on you?"

Emi almost fell out of her seat. Blushing furiously, she stared at Tominaga, whose expression was far too nonchalant for what he'd just said. "W-W-What? What are you t-talking about?"

He set his mug down on the desk. "Boy, you really don't have much experience in romance, do you?"

"You want to go out with _me?_ " Emi gawked, pointing a shaky finger at her chest.

Tominaga shrugged. "Why not? You're pretty, you're kind, and there's a whole labyrinth of personality beneath that cold exterior I'd love to explore." He put his hands up as if in surrender. "Of course, if you don't want to, I get it. I wasn't the nicest to you before, and you have that Kousei guy, right?"

"No!" Emi interjected, before quieting. "I…just…give me some time to think about it. We're at work right now anyway."

He inclined his head in concession. "How about you take the day to think about it, then? We can go out drinking or something after work. You can give me your answer then, or take some more time to think. That sound good?"

Emi nodded slowly. How was she going to respond? Hell, how was she even _supposed_ to respond? She'd never even divulged anything personal to Tominaga before today, and now he was asking her out? But…she couldn't deny, he was pretty handsome. That tussled hair, those broad shoulders, lean but still firm muscle…and he had a good personality too. Even that time he'd been cold to her had been out of a desire to help her.

But…did she want to date him? She had no clue. Romance was an area she had little experience in. She rarely harboured romantic feelings for others. Was that a prerequisite? Maybe feelings developed after you started dating someone. Agh, she didn't know!

Tominaga was still staring at her, waiting for an answer. She felt herself blushing. "U-Uh…sure. I mean, sure, let's go drinking after work. I'll try to give you an answer by then."

Tominaga nodded, returning to his work.

Emi meanwhile was trying not to panic. What was she supposed to do now? Did she agree? Did she reject him? What was the appropriate course of action in these situations? Agh, she knew so little about dating! Maybe she should ask Tsubaki? Or Nagi? But she'd told Tominaga she'd give him an answer tonight. Could she text one of them during a break?

Repressing a groan, Emi got to work, trying to put Tominaga out of her mind for the moment.

.

It couldn't have just been the alcohol. She hadn't even had that much. Then why did he look so hot right now? His tie was loose, exposing the undone top button of his shirt. Her eyes lingered on the small, exposed portion of his chest, then drifted up to meet his eyes. Was he feeling similarly? Damn…were these feelings only arising because of his having asked her out earlier? She'd never thought of him this way before. Fuck…he looked good.

Tominaga stood up suddenly, glancing at his watch. "It's getting late. We should probably head back home. Remember, next time you're designated driver."

Emi quickly got up as well. "R-Right. I…I'm not that tipsy, am I?"

Tominaga made a motion with a hand as they exited the pub. "Eh. Kinda tipsy. You're not that bad."

Getting in Emi's car, they headed off. Tominaga knew the route to her apartment, of course, so she was left silent as the conversation died. She should say something. She liked talking to him. It was a sudden realization, but it made sense. All those times when he'd told his silly anecdotes had been really enjoyable. And he still looked really handsome. Emi traced his face with her eyes. That strong jawline, with a hint of stubble, those beautiful eyes, that tussled but not messy hair, those tempting lips…she really was falling for him, wasn't she? How had this happened?

At some point they pulled up to Emi's apartment.

"Well, here we are." He eyed her.

Emi found herself not wanting to leave. "It's your fault, you know."

He clocked his head. "Huh?"

"If you hadn't said those things this morning, I wouldn't be feeling like this."

And with that, Emi kissed him.

It occurred to her that this was her first kiss. Funny how that didn't seem to mean much to her at this point. Though she'd never had a serious relationship before, and had never gotten to experience proper kissing before, somehow it felt right, kissing Tominaga. His lips…they felt so fucking good. Tominaga seemed initially taken aback by the sudden kiss, but quickly returned it, his hands cupping her waist tenderly. It felt good to be held. Emi pushed into him, deepening the kiss, nipping at his bottom lip with her teeth daringly. Passion filled their movements, Emi's arms wrapping around his torso, Tominaga's tongue prodding at her lips. She let him in, and their tongues mingled. Emi shivered in delight. He tasted amazing.

Emi pulled at a button on his shirt, trying to undo it. He pulled back, breaking the kiss, and gazed into her eyes, waiting, seeking. "We shouldn't…do this. We still have work tomorrow."

Emi's arms slid up his broad back, coming up to place fingers around the back of his neck. "You're too good at kissing."

He chuckled. "I feel like…I kind of took advantage of you. You're tipsy, and I messed with your feelings earlier by asking you out. Why don't you…wait until tomorrow, when you're sober."

Emi frowned, shaking her head. "No. No, Tominaga. I don't need to be sober to know I want this. I don't think I put it together before, but I realize now that I love so much about you. Your jokes, your stories, and especially your caring attitude. You always seem to know what I need when I need it, and you're always seeing me for who I am. I love that." She paused. "Plus, if I change my mind, we can go back to normal, right? No harm done?"

Tominaga glanced off to the side, not responding. "I…yeah. No harm." He smiled. "I guess that means you're agreeing to go out with me?"

Emi rolled her eyes. "What do you think?"

They kissed again. Emi immediately melted into him, and they both pulled the other into them, getting dangerously close. Their tongues danced, and Emi slid her hand through Tominaga's hair. It felt soft, and smooth…as did his lips. She nipped at them again, earning a nip from him in reply. They broke apart for a breath briefly, before diving into each other again, passion fueling their movements. As their lips fought, their heads were pulled back and forth, ever connected, like magnets. Emi felt incredible as they made out. Tominaga was unbelievable. Shit, she could kiss him all day—

"Igawa?"

They instantly pulled apart. Emi glared out the window.

Kousei walked cautiously just outside her car, squinting in her headlights. She blushed furiously, and quickly hopped out of the car.

"Kousei!" She said, her voice breaking. "What's wrong?"

"Well, I noticed you pulling up in the window, but you weren't getting out, and I was starting to wonder if there was something wrong…is that work friend of yours with you?"

Emi started. "W-What makes you say that?"

"Um…well, you've clearly been drinking, and whenever that happens, he always drives you home, and then takes transit home, I think…plus, I can see him right there." He pointed at Tominaga's silhouette at the wheel.

Emi groaned internally as Tominaga rolled the window down and stuck his head out. "S'up? You must be Kousei, right?"

Kousei nodded timidly. "Um…guess I'll go back inside, then." Turning on his heel, he retreated, shutting the door behind him. Emi, still blushing brightly, strode back to the car and got in.

"He seems nice," Tominaga quipped, grinning at Emi.

"Oh, shut up." Emi rolled her eyes, eyeing his lips. Taking a breath, she folded her arms, and faced him, meeting his eyes resolutely. "Alright, Tominaga. You and I are going to try dating. I reserve the right to call it off at any point, as do you. Got it?"

Tominaga laughed. "Sounds like you've found that confidence you were lacking before."

They stared at each other in the passing silence.

"So…wanna make out again?" Tominaga said.

Emi tackled his lips.

.

"Why are we doing this at my place, again?" Tsubaki asked, glancing around anxiously. Clothes and snack bags lay about haphazardly. With the lack of furniture, what areas of the apartment would have been occupied by a shelf or a chair were now covered with assortments of junk. She grimaced at the sight of it all.

Nagi gave a cursory glance of her own, before smirking. "Ah, don't worry about it, Tsubaki! I leave my trash lying around all the time; my roommate always takes care of it."

"I don't have a roommate…" Tsubaki grumbled under her breath.

"Well, might want to take care of the trash problem soon," Nagi went on, "cause they're going to be here in, like, ten minutes."

Tsubaki paled. Nagi…! Signing exasperatedly, she hurriedly got to cleaning up the place while Nagi picked up a bag of half full chips from the table and popped one in her mouth. Damn it…why had Nagi only told her about this earlier today? Probably because she still didn't have a job yet, right? Well…it was true, yes, but that didn't mean she got to just organize a meetup for everyone at her apartment! Maybe…was it common practice to have your place clean at all times? Well, when you had your own place, some messiness was allowed, right?

As Tsubaki began hastily chucking items in the trash, Nagi lay back on the couch, chips crunching noisily in her mouth. "You ready to make a move on Kousei yet?" Nagi said through a mouthful of chips.

Tsubaki almost tripped.

"You know _too?_ " She cried in dismay.

Nagi chuckled. "C'mon, Tsubaki. It's embarrassingly obvious." The blonde sat upright grinning. "So? Gonna go after him? Flirt a little? What's your game plan?"

Tsubaki blushed. "I-I'm not 'going after him'. He just got over Kaori. His heart's recovering. He doesn't need to have to deal with my feelings right now as well. When the time comes, maybe I'll try dropping hints. But for now, I'm content to remain his friend."

Nagi frowned. "One of these days you're going to have to actually do something, you know. He's not going to even consider you romantically if you wait too long."

Tsubaki shot the blonde a scowl. "That's kind of a cynical way to look at it."

"Yeah, well, what do you expect from me?" Nagi shrugged.

The doorbell suddenly rang. Tsubaki squeaked, and hurriedly shoved junk into the trash. As Nagj popped another chip in her mouth, Tsubaki rushed to the door and opened it. There stood Kousei, smiling politely, and Igawa, shoving her face into her scarf. Tsubaki couldn't repress a smile at the sight of the two of them side by side. It felt like it had been too long.

"Please, come in!" Tsubaki said cheerily, ushering them inside. "Sorry if it's a bit messy in here still; I had short notice."

"It's fine," Kousei said in his usual pleasant tone. Tsubaki idly wondered whether he was truly being genuine. Was that smile for real, or was he just putting it on for her?

"Ah, don't worry about it," Igawa said, waving a dismissive hand. "If you want, you can just ask Kousei to clean up for you. That's what I always do."

"Emi…" Kousei rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

Tsubaki chuckled. Those two…they seemed to have such chemistry; they always bounced off each other so well. Were they close to being a couple? Surely with Kousei's moving on, Igawa would have been the perfect rebound. Even if they weren't, Tsubaki could easily see it. Should she give up? Leave Kousei to have Igawa? She'd probably make him far happier in the end…

No! Tsubaki hastily shook her head. She couldn't think like that. She always became self-doubtful whenever things looked bad. She had to fight, to at least try and win over Kousei!

Of course, that would wait until he was fully emotionally recovered. As Kousei and Igawa took off their coats and boots, Tsubaki ran to the living room—sparing an unappreciative glare for Nagi, who continued lazing on the couch, gobbling food—and got to rearranging the furniture, pulling two chairs up to accompany the couch as seating for guests.

As Igawa and Kousei stepped into the living room, Nagi threw them a halfhearted wave. "Hey."

"Helpful as ever, eh, Nagi?" Igawa quipped, eyeing the blonde's relaxed position.

"You know me," Nagi replied with a grin, stuffing her mouth full again.

Kousei found a seat in the chair off to the right, while Igawa plopped down next to Nagi. Tsubaki froze—guests needed to have food! She headed to the pantry: nothing. The fridge? Ditto. Rgh…of course she had nothing to entertain guests. Could she be blamed? She'd just moved in!

"So…why are we gathering here again?" Igawa asked as she stole the chips away from Nagi, folding up the top of the bag.

Tsubaki frowned. "Don't you know?"

"No. Don't you?"

"Wait, what are we doing?" Kousei added.

Nagi threw her bands in the air and groaned as if in pain, rolling her eyes exaggeratedly. "Ugh, do I have to explain _everything_ to you guys? I texted everyone to gather so we could all see Kousei again after so long!"

"You know, it'd probably be more helpful if you actually said that in your text message." Emi said dryly.

Nagi waved a hand dismissively. "Ah, details."

Suddenly, a knock came at the door. Tsubaki moaned in exhaustion, before quickly heading down the hall to her door. Opening it up, she met the eyes of Takeshi and Watari. The blond had his typical scowl, while Watari grinned good-naturedly at her.

"Hey, Tsubaki!" Watari greeted. "How's it going?"

Tsubaki returned the smile. "Great! You got here alright?"

He nodded. "Yeah I mean, I've been here before, right? I offered to give Takeshi a ride, so that's why he's here with me, if you're wondering."

"Your wife didn't want to come?" Tsubaki asked, frowning. Sure, she wasn't exactly part of their friend group in the same way as the rest of them were, but she'd still been around during all of the gatherings so far.

Watari shrugged. "She had to go out to do some errands. Then I think she was going to visit one of her friends?"

Takeshi rolled his eyes. "Yeesh, enough with the small talk. It's cold out here."

Tsubaki blushed, jumping aside and letting the two of them enter before shutting the door behind them. Following the two boys inside, she joined the main group in the living room. Watari joined Emi and Nagi at the couch, while Takeshi stole the remaining chair. As the unwilling hostess, Tsubaki reluctantly stood off to the side.

"So," Takeshi began, "Nagi. Why are we here?"

"Do I have to explain _again?_ " The blonde cried.

"Should've explained in the first place," Igawa mumbled to the side.

Takeshi just rolled his eyes. "Well, since when has Nagi ever bothered making things easy to understand?"

Nagi rolled her eyes in turn. "We're gathering to see Kousei for the first time since all that stuff happened last week. He kind of owes all the rest of you an explanation. Plus, why do we need a reason to all hang out? This is how friends drift apart, you know."

"I had to cancel plans for this…" Takeshi grumbled to himself.

Watari sat forward, meeting Kousei's eyes with a wan smile. "So, Kousei…you feeling better? I'm still not exactly sure what all happened, but I heard you…moved on?"

Kousei rubbed the back of his neck, looking away. "Uh…yeah. It's kind of…I moved on, but it's more like I'm in the process of moving on, as well…you know?"

Watari nodded encouragingly.

"What did happen, eh, Kousei?" Takeshi asked. "Heard you got slapped. And that you tried to run away again? Man, just how bad did you have it?" He chuckled devilishly.

Across the room, Nagi pulled off her sock and tossed it into Takeshi's face.

Kousei was starting to redden. "Um…it's kind of embarrassing to talk about…I was…being irrational, at the time. The, uh…the girls helped me work through it. I'm doing better now—"

"Oh, stop making the poor guy uncomfortable, Takeshi, " Igawa glared at the blond from the couch. "He had an issue. It was overwhelming him, so he tried to run. We talked things out. He's recovering now. Happy with that explanation?"

Takeshi furrowed his brow. "Well, no, not exactl—"

"Shut it, Takeshi," Nagi and Igawa snapped at the same time.

Tsubaki resisted a snicker. Her eyes drifted over to Kousei, and her heartbeat started to quicken. Even when his expression was tainted by embarrassment at Takeshi's hand, he still looked incredible. She idly recalled their high school days when he was smaller, scrawnier, and seemed always to need a hand. And he'd dealt with his attachment to Kaori for this long with out it getting out? Without him ever once talking to anyone about it? It made Tsubaki want to run over and give him a hug, then scold him for dealing with this alone. But…now, maybe finally things would turn around for him. Maybe he'd start to find the joy in life, maybe he'd smile genuinely now.

Maybe he'd even consider going out with her, now that he'd gotten over Kaori…

Tsubaki shook her head. No! She shouldn't be thinking that way. It was selfish, and disrespectful to both Kousei and Kaori. Hadn't she already made her mind up about this? With the state Kousei was in, it would be proper to let him come to her, if he felt like it. After some time passed, maybe she'd make a move, but for now, she had to be there, as his friend, not as another complication.

Emi must have cracked a joke, because everyone was laughing, including Kousei. His voice was almost musical, the steady laughter a constant beat, his tenor voice resonating and melodic. She smiled at the sight. How many times before had he laughed like that, with real gusto, with genuineness? Tsubaki found herself wanting to keep that smile alive.

Kousei eventually spoke again. "Yeah…sorry again, everyone. I realize now how stupid I was to have done all of that. I was scared, I guess…well, I shouldn't be giving you excuses. Just…I feel much better now. Thank you all for putting up with me, and actually trying to bring me around instead of just giving up on me. It means a lot."

"What are friends for?" Watari smiled. "Just don't do it again, you slippery rascal."

As Kousei laughed, Tsubaki continued to stare at him. Would they ever be together? Was that feasible? Or did Kousei still view her as he did all those years ago? Just another friend, just a kid cheering him on? She'd been presenting this to herself as though he'd be willing to date her, but what if it wouldn't happen? What if he'd just reject her at the smallest prompting?

Tsubaki tried to force those thoughts away and join in the conversation, though the worries continued to spin around in the back of her mind, like whales ready to surface for a breath. The day forged on, with Igawa and Nagi dishing out teasing remarks at Kousei, who simply cowered in his seat. Watari's smile never seemed to disappear, and he would often interrupt with a polite question about Kousei's life, perfectly able to carry a conversation with the taciturn man. Even Takeshi threw in sarcastic remarks, earning both Nagi's expected disappointment and chuckles all around. It felt normal again, at least as normal as it could get.

Eventually, people started to leave. Takeshi explained he had to meet his daily practicing quota, Watari said he ought not to keep the wife waiting, and Nagi gave some vague excuse about studying, something Tsubaki knew full well the blonde never did. Then, it was just her, Igawa, and Kousei. The room was silent. No one met another's eyes. Strangely, a question surfaced in Tsubaki's brain, in the almost solemn silence. It burned within her. She realized just how much she'd been wanting to know the answer to it.

"Are you…really doing alright, Kousei?"

The tall man, whose head had been bowed somewhat as he was hunched over in his seat, looked up at her, his expression unreadable.

Tsubaki swallowed down her fear. "You kept that sadness a secret for so long…tell me you aren't just still hiding it, for our sakes."

Across the room, despite her calm demeanor, Igawa couldn't hide the curiosity in her eyes.

Kousei rubbed the back or his neck, staring down at the ground. "I get you guys are still worried. You have every right to be. I…won't say I'm totally fine. How can I be, after all that? But I…I feel free. Well, free-er. Kaori had been a shackle for so long. To let go of her is like a giant weight off my shoulders. I still am really apprehensive, and scared to death about it all, but…" He smiled up at her. "I am. I think, after so, so long, I finally, really am doing alright."

Tsubaki could do nothing but smile in return. She studied that face of his. In it, she found fear, frustration, a lingering sadness—but above and beyond that, an overwhelming happiness. She could tell. Kousei was finally, truly, legitimately, genuinely, actually content.

And it made her want to smile all the more for it.

.

Kousei waved goodbye to Tsubaki, and ducked into the car, closing the door behind him. Igawa then headed off, leaving Tsubaki's apartment behind. It was a nice place, he reflected. On it's own, it hadn't seemed like much, but like she always did, Tsubaki had put her own unique touch on the place. It had really felt like hers. It was funny how she could do that.

Igawa glanced at him from the driver's seat. "You seem happy."

Kousei noticed the smile on his face. "Just thinking."

"About Tsubaki?" Igawa surmised. "You know, you two would make a good couple."

"So Nagi is often fond of telling me." Kousei replied.

The silence that followed overtook the rest of the ride back to Igawa's apartment. Kousei felt bad about it, but at the same time enjoyed the quiet, whenever he got it. Before, he'd used it to daydream about Kaori, reminiscing about their time together. Now…he still found himself drawn to thinking about her, but it was more of a vague feeling. Now, in the peaceful calm of the car ride, Kousei thought of his friends. The people that made him truly happy, made his life worth living. Snarky Nagi, with her sharp wit and well-meaning interior. Shy Tsubaki, her undying cheer and passionate generosity incredibly endearing. Courageous Igawa, with her calm, confident demeanor contrasting with her sensitive, soft side. Watari, the most faithful friend one could ask for. Takeshi, brash but loving.

In the face of all that, Kousei couldn't help but smile.

As Igawa pulled up to the apartment, she cocked a brow his way. "You're smiling. For real."

He met her eyes. "Yeah. I am." The smile felt good. Really, really good. "I finally am."

As they got out, and headed inside, Kousei caught a hint of a smile growing on Igawa's own lips. It only fueled his further.

After pulling off their winter gear, the two walked in. Igawa headed for the fridge, pulling out a jug of water and pouring a glass.

Kousei stepped up to his electric piano, feeling its keys. How long had it been, since he'd played with Kaori? It felt like decades. And only days ago. It was strange. But…it was also right. It felt right. He slid a hand along the piano, taking a seat and turning it on. He pressed Middle C. The tone rang out, beautiful and haunting. Distant.

He waved at Igawa. "Come here." Scooting over, he patted the space on the seat next to him.

Igawa stared. "You want me to play?"

"You're not that bad," Kousei said. "Come on."

Igawa hesitated, but eventually relented with a sigh, rolling her eyes and walking over. Tentatively, she took a seat next to Kousei. Her hands slowly felt the keys. Kousei examined her expression. It was uncertain, anxious…but brave. She set her fingers into place.

A wan grin growing on his lips, Kousei got ready. "You remember Capriccio Espagnole?"

Igawa took a deep breath, nodding.

Kousei tapped his foot lightly on the floor. Then, they played.

Music poured out of them. It was extraordinary. The notes, the harmony, it flowed in the air around them, permeating the room, pulsing through their hearts, their souls. With vigour, with emotion-fueled energy, Kousei pressed each key. He felt the melody. It was sadness, pain, fear, longing, loneliness. It was hope. It was looking up, believing things would be better. It was trust.

The piano echoed throughout the apartment. Then…violin. A phantom harmony, it joined in, perfectly complimenting the duet. It was beautiful, pure, loving, happy, perfect. Its notes swirled around Kousei, harmonizing with the tune, a perfect match. It felt so, so good. Kousei played, with everything he was. The piano. The violin. They mixed, intermingled, so, so perfect for each other.

Then it stopped.

Kousei's fingers were pressed down against the keys. The chords rang out. Tears hung in his eyes, threatening to fall.

.

Beside him, Emi stared. Her fingers kept dancing across the keys, though her attention was only half focused on them. Kousei…the raw emotion pouring from him. Tears welled up in his dark, caring eyes, his expression a melange of too many emotions. He played with passion—beautiful, tragic, brilliant passion. It flowed out of him. He seemed to embody the piece in that moment, the pure energy exploding from inside him fueling the pressing of each note.

Then he stopped.

The climax of the piece. He held the chords, his lips half open, his eyes wide, sweat beading on his brow, his fingers shaking even as they were pressed into the keys. Distantly, Emi thought she could hear a melancholic harmony, the sound of a mournful violin.

The chord began to fade. Emi kept staring. She saw him. She saw a man balanced on the edge of a knife, fear pulling at him from all sides, desperately trying to pull him off. She saw a broken man, worn and beaten by his past. She saw two dark eyes filled with grief, with mourning, with sadness, pain, fear, hesitation. She saw a man who'd tried and failed too many times to pull himself out of his rut.

She saw Kousei laid bare before her. He could fall. It would be so easy. To give up. To let his darkness overcome him. She saw it all, within a second.

And she saw him _soar_.

With one blindingly powerful movement, he forged into the next measure, the music swelling, his tears at last falling. But there was no sadness in his eyes.

Instead, there was hope. Hope so overpowering, so brilliant, so awesome that it lifted him high, up, far beyond the darkness. Kousei soared skyward, coursing above the clouds, a phoenix lighting up the night. He could not be contained.

And then, the piece ended. In the glory of the moment, chest heaving, eyes wide, Kousei slowly met Emi's incredulous gaze. The corner of his lip curled.

And he smiled the most happy smile Emi had ever seen.

.

 **Wowee! Done.**

 **Okay, so, remember how I said I was going to do other things for this series? Yeah, I changed my mind. I've kind of gotten burnt out on this series. I need to do something else. I tried to pull things into a nice little finale for this one, and I think I did a good job, but I realize some things were left unresolved, things which I had meant to cover in later chapters. But, as I said, I want to do something else. So I will! :)**

 **That isn't to say I won't ever come back to this series. I'm completely open to revisiting this and trying up those loose ends. But for now, call this the finale, and really, seriously tell me whether you want me to continue this series or not. As I said, I won't for a long while, but I do really want to know whether you guys are interested in a continuation. So please, please comment. Also, I'd appreciate suggestions on what fandom you think I should write about next. I have an idea, but I'm open to suggestions, if you guys have ideas.**

 **So yeah, sorry about the promise I made last chapter. Think this is a good end for TGTHM, though. I have an idea, so look out for more from me. (In like three months, of course :) , probably longer actually, sorry I'm bad with motivation)**

 **So. Until next time!**


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